Archive for December, 2011

Karen answers CR Friend

admin on Dec 16th 2011

Comment by CR Friend on 08 Nov 2011 at 3:44 am

Karen,

Thank you for trusting me with your story. As I recover from sexual addiction it was important for me to understand what my past actions caused. Your story gave me a wake up call and I am grateful to know you. I can’t change my past but know what amends I need to make. I am inspired by your healing and generous spirit. God bless you on your growth.

CR Friend in Texas

“Happy are those whose greatest desire is to do what God requires” (Matthew 5:6)

“Happy are the pure in heart” (Matthew 5:8)

Dear CR Friend,

You’re welcome! Thank you for respecting my privacy. I am glad my story helped you uncover some of your mixed thoughts and set you in the right direction toward healing. I’m not a therapist and can’t give advice, but in my opinion you are on the right path moving forward on your own personal journey to wellness. We all need to make amends and forgive ourselves as well as others. I believe wisdom comes from knowledge gained in His name. I keep you and all my Celebrate Recovery (CR) friends in my prayers.

I thank you for sharing and for your compliments and caring for my spiritual growth.  I pray for your own healing and for all those who share in CR.

Wishing you all my best!

Karen

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Karen answers Lujea

admin on Dec 16th 2011

Comment by Lujea on 08 Nov 2011 at 3:22 am

What kinda of medication do you take now after integration for depression and stress?

Dear Lujea,

I do not take any medication since integration. If medication is needed it would probably be for something physical. If I should some day feel depressed or stressed, knowing me, I wouldn’t take any medication for it. I would seek out a therapist to talk over any issues.

Thank you for your question,

Karen

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Karen answers Yvonne

admin on Dec 16th 2011

Comment by Yvonne on 07 Nov 2011 at 6:52 pm

What did you do when your children snapped or screamed at you did you switch? What would cause you to switch? You are cool and inspiring. Thanks.

Dear Yvonne,

Switching would come when my alters or I felt threatened. Switching to another self was my way of coping. I rarely needed to switch with my children because I was their Mom, but when they were little, sometimes the younger alters would come out to play with them. As their Mom it was my job to keep them safe and protect them from harm. I admit, there were times when my children would stress me out and when they did, I would try to excuse myself, if possible, and walk away. It was best for me not to engage in moments where there would be an increase in chaos.

Like all children, my children would argue at times and I would do my best to ignore them. Most of the time their arguments did not cause a switch in me. And most of the time my children worked out their differences quickly. I would often switch if anyone snapped or screamed at me, but not usually with my children. During these moments I was unable to comprehend or function as my best self. In other words I felt as if someone pressed a pause button. Switching to another self was a coping mechanism to protect myself from the harm of others. It was the way I survived.

Thank you for your cool and inspiring compliment!

Karen

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Karen answers Charlene M.

admin on Dec 13th 2011

Comment by Charlene M on 06 Nov 2011 at 1:06 pm

Thank God I found you. Thank you for being an inspiration to all of us. I recently read a new book and remembered your book. If it weren’t for reading your book first I could’ve been easily persuaded in a bad way. I am here because I believe in myself like you always say. I am here because I can make it and do my best to live in faith. Great answers here on your blog. Do you ever get tired of answering questions? I hope not cause you have talent. You are the Dear Abby of those who hurt in our world. God bless you.

Dear Charlene,

Thank you for your warm compliments! I never tire receiving questions, though at times I get a bit behind in answering them.  I’m glad another book didn’t persuade your firm thoughts after reading my story. It’s important to believe in yourself and take in what’s most important to you and expel the rest as nonsense. You didn’t mention the name of the book that distressed you, but I think I know which one you are referring to. Interestingly, there are many books written that are not accurate presentations of multiple personality disorder.

Believe in yourself.

Wishing you peace,

Karen

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Karen answers Al

admin on Dec 13th 2011

Comment by Al on 05 Nov 2011 at 1:37 am

HI KAREN. TO BE FRANK I CANT EMPATHIZE WITH YOU BECAUSE I NEVER BEEN ABUSED. I READ SWITCHING TIME AFTER FINDING IT AT A BOOK FAIR. SOUNDED INTERESTING AFTER THE INK BLOT DREW MY ATTENTION TO IT. I AM TOTALLY FASCINATED WITH YOUR RECOVERY. AS I READ I FOUND MYSELF GAINING A BETTER UNDERSTANDING OF ABUSE AND THE MIND. I DID NOT LIKE FINISHING READING THE BOOK BECAUSE I WANTED TO READ MORE. THAT;S WHEN I FOUND YOUR WEB SITE. LOTS TO READ HERE. KEEP ON KEEPING ON.

Dear Al,

Thank you for sharing how you found Switching Time! I’m glad you found our book at a book fair! It’s also good to know you found a better understanding of abuse. Yes, the mind is fascinating. I have to agree with you on that!

How interesting you didn’t want the book to end. Dr. Baer and I are currently working on a sequel to compliment Switching Time.

And, yes, we do have quite a bit to read on our Web site. Happy you found us.

Wishing you a wonderful day!

Karen

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Karen answers Tayla

admin on Dec 13th 2011

Comment by Tayla on 04 Nov 2011 at 8:26 pm

Hi Karen! My name is Tayla and I’m almost 16. I’m a huge, huge fan of yours, after reading Baer’s novel. I am absolutely amazed at your strength. My father too, abuses me and I am currently in therapy with a psychologist. It reminds me of your story.  Though I don’t have MPD, I’m curious about it and would love to look into it as I want to study to become a psychologist, too.

My abuse is not as severe as yours so I am utterly bewildered by your strength! You are a beautiful person and you amaze me. I tell my friends about your story and they too are amazed.

I hope you don’t mind me asking but do you still keep in contact with Josh? What do your children think about your life? Do you have a new husband? And do you still keep in touch with doctor Baer?

You don’t have to answer, I’m just so curious!

Thank you for the strength.

Dear Tayla,

How thoughtful you are; your compliments have touched me. Thank you for sharing! Please know that abuse is abuse and it doesn’t matter how much, how severe, or the type. I empathize with your pain and I’m glad to hear that you’re in therapy.

Josh died this year from complications from his alcoholism, but our children are doing well. My son is home after serving many years as a Marine in Iraq, Afghanistan and Pakistan. He married my beautiful daughter-in-law two years ago and is happy and well. My daughter is in her seventh year of medical school and we live together in Texas. They are both supportive and we talk all the time. I love them sooooo much and will share more about them in my sequel, that is, if it ever gets published!

Dr. Baer and I talk quite often. We will always be friends. We have a bond like no other and continue to respect each other. I don’t get to see him as often since moving to Texas this past May, but before I left Chicago we met at least twice a month.

Be safe, stay strong, and know that healing takes time but it is so worth it! I am now living a life I once thought impossible.

Wishing you all my best! Keep in touch!

Karen

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Karen answers Faith

admin on Dec 13th 2011

Comment by Faith Mikayla on 03 Nov 2011 at 5:31 pm

Hey Karen,

I was reading your book and think you must be the bravest woman on earth. How you survived is beyond my comprehension but this is not about me. I wanted you to know because of you and your book I am a better woman. I wasn’t kind or understanding. Actually I’m a bitch or was. I know I cant be you but if you can care after all you been through than I could be more caring after being raped by a relative once. Once compared to many is not enough to treat people horrible. I learned a lot of lessons valuable one from you. Thanks.

Dear Faith,

You are very kind and thoughtful! Thank you for your compliments! I empathize with you and am glad you now understand more about abuse. Please know that it doesn’t matter if you were abused once or a million times, the effect is the same. Feelings of low self worth, anger, frustration, depression, and so on can be symptoms of past abuse. If you need to, please seek the help of a qualified therapist.

Thank you also for sharing about yourself and your journey to a better understanding of how to treat others. No one is perfect. We each live our life to the best of our ability. Life is so much better when we live in peace, kindness, and empathy towards all.

Wishing you all my best!

Karen

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Karen answers Dr. Gwen

admin on Dec 13th 2011

Comment by Dr. Gwen on 03 Nov 2011 at 2:50 pm

Karen,

During your treatment did psych medication play a big role? I read that you refused medication. Did Dr. Baer follow your instructions? What medications were forced on you? Where do you stand on advising others regarding medication trials? Did taking meds help or prolong your therapy? Last question. Can you describe a reason how you came to your decision with or without alter help? I am a nurse practitioner and respect your thoughts. I read your story and believe Dr. Baer set the best example of therapy treatment for MPD patient. I heard his view, now I would like to understand through you.

Thank you.

Dr. Gwen

Dear Dr. Gwen,

Thank you for sharing and for your compliment of Dr. Baer setting the best example of therapy treatment for a multiple!  No, psych medication never played a big role in my therapy. Early in my therapy Dr. Baer tried to introduce a few medications to help ease my distress, but being the multiple that I was, I took the medication sporadically and there could never be a consistent way of knowing how the medication worked. Different alters controlled taking the medications at different times. My therapy worked best by talking to Dr. Baer.  He never forced medication on me. As a matter of fact, we discussed my feelings and he respected my decision not to over medicate.

I am not a mental health professional and can’t give advice, but in my opinion, I believe psychiatric medication will hinder therapy for multiple personality disorder. I believe my healing improved when all traces of medication were out of my system. The only medication that helped me once in a while was Xanax, to calm me during very stressful times.  One prescription of thirty pills would last me two years. My decision to not be medicated except on rare occasions was made by Dr. Baer, my alters, and me as a team.

I hope my answers help you understand the needs of a multiple like me. I thoroughly believe Dr. Baer’s lack of prescribing me psych medications proved to be the best therapy for me.

Karen

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Karen answers Loretta

admin on Dec 11th 2011

Comment by Loretta on 01 Nov 2011 at 10:16 am

Karen! Have you seen the new book out on Sybil? You are the Sybil of this century, and this author will try to destroy the psychiatry world. I admire you and love you for sharing your story. God knew best when He created you! Make a difference, Karen! Do something to help all those who suffer. We are counting on your story to prove idiot writers like Debbie Nathan wrong. I think your story is the best story about MPD. God bless you. Thank you for remaining you. Thank you, Richard Baer, for standing by Karen’s side in good and bad times. You are my hero!

Dear Loretta,

Yes, I have read the new book Sybil Exposed. I never thought of myself as the “Sybil of this century”, but I guess now that you mentioned it, I can understand why you would think so. As I read this book by Debbie Nathan, I couldn’t understand why she felt it necessary to re-open and write about three women, all deceased, and a therapy of multiple personality disorder forty years old? Didn’t make sense to me, but I admit it was well written and it appeared she did her research.  Personally, I can’t imagine it all being true. The facts don’t add up for me. I can’t comprehend why a respectful psychiatrist such as Dr. Wilbur would treat Sybil unethically. I highly doubt Dr. Wilbur would break her oath and falsify her treatment procedures.

I believe my story and work with Dr. Baer stands strong. We have nothing to hide and have eighteen years of documentation. No drugs were ever used on me during hypnosis and Dr. Baer treated me with utmost respect.

Thank you so much for your confidence in Dr. Baer and me. It’s my desire to encourage hope through sharing my story. I believe there will be a day when my story will be the one that proves multiplicity exists and can be cured. I’m not concerned about proving author Debbie Nathan wrong. Why? Because she’s not a psychiatrist, she’s a journalist, a very good one.

I appreciate your thoughts on my story being the best story about MPD. All I can say is that my story is true and I am living proof of that. I am now my best self. I am a survivor. And Dr. Baer turned out to be the best psychiatrist. I am grateful and blessed. I will share your note with Dr. Baer.

Thank you, again, for caring.

Karen

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Karen answers Leia

admin on Dec 11th 2011

Comment by Leia on 25 Oct 2011 at 2:18 am

Hi Karen,

I’ve read Switching Time for the third time now. My question is, what role does your mother and brothers have in your life now? After this 3rd read, I still find myself very angry with them each time. I hope they are not in your life anymore. I know you must be there for your niece, who was also abused, but I find it inexcusable that your brothers and mother did nothing but add to your abuse. I would love to also add what an incredible human being your are. You are so strong and your love is so broad. Thank you for sharing your story with the world.

Leia

Dear Leia,

Forgiveness has played a big part in letting go of the toxic people in my life. That surely includes my mother and brother, but it’s not my job to judge them. I had to let go to be in peace. I believe my mother and brother need to come to their own healing.  I pray they do!  I know I can’t fix those who hurt me, nor do I have the patience to deal with their bad behavior.  I recently learned that I was holding onto some anger for them. I knew this because every time I dealt with my mother or brother, I would become physically ill. I didn’t put two and two together until my world was challenged once again.

My way of healing and moving forward is to lessen my contact with those who are abusive and hurtful. I’ve made amends and refuse to harbor dark thoughts or wait for an apology from those who hurt me. I have to move on. I admit there are times I make a mistake and try to trust my family again, so I realize I’m still learning. I do keep in contact with my beautiful niece; she has read the book and is happy and currently engaged to be married.

Thank you for your kind thoughts and compliments! I am grateful and blessed.

Karen

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