Karen Answers Confused Mom

admin on Jul 25th 2008

Comment by Confused Mom on July 22, 2008 7:55 pm

Did you appear different? Did you have many friends? Were you withdrawn, distant or teased by classmates? I have a reason for asking. There is a 9 year old friend of my daughter that I believe is sexually abused. As I read your story, something hit me that she may also have MPD. Why didn’t your mother notice any signs you were being abused? Without proof, what can I do? Is it wise that I allow my daughter to befriend her? If my daughter shared her friends “secret” am I obligated to inform police?

Dear Confused Mom,

I am not a therapist and can’t give advice as a therapist. Yes, I appeared different because I was. I was afraid to get to close to anyone. Although I dissociated and appeared to act mostly normal, it was hard to hide the emotional distress I suffered. At school, I would daydream, lose time, faint, and I suffered severe, disabling headaches. I spent so much time in the principal’s office feeling ill that I became her student helper. The signs I exhibited were never investigated by teachers, the principal, and not by my mother or others who came into contact with me. My father and grandfather wouldn’t allow me to play at the homes of my classmates. My parents always had an excuse as to why I couldn’t go, saying that I was ill, had to watch my brothers, or was needed to help my grandparents with some chore that couldn’t wait. After a while, my classmates stopped asking.

It is my belief that my mother knew I was being abused but she’d never admit it. There had to be signs. I wasn’t always a happy child, and know I appeared withdrawn at times. There were signs, bruises that weren’t talked about, unexplained illnesses, and many moments of temporary forgetfulness.

If you really expect this girl is being sexually abused, you should tell your concerns to the police. They may or may not investigate, but in any case, they will have been alerted if there is a subsequent complaint. There could be other, less ominous reasons this girl appears different. She could be shy, never had a friend before, or has been sick. It’s not wise to jump to conclusions on your own. If she tells your daughter that someone is hurting her, or comes to trust and confide in you, then there may be more reason for concern.

Thank you for being vigilant about the safety of little girls; that’s why I wanted this book written.


Filed in Karen's Answers | 2 responses so far

2 Responses to “Karen Answers Confused Mom”

  1. Zacon 25 Jul 2008 at 3:52 pm

    OMG! Your story intrigued me. How is it that there has not been a documentary done? Or is there? If not, are you planning one soon? If so, when?

  2. Louison 25 Jul 2008 at 3:56 pm

    Read book. I admire your courage to tell your story. Can’t help but wonder how are your relationships with your children, ex husband and mother nowadays?

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