Archive for December, 2009

Karen answers Joe

Richard Baer on Dec 17th 2009

Comment by Joe on 08 Dec 2009 at 12:52 pm

Dear Karen,

Why is Katherine holding a guitar in your alters portrait?

Joe.

Dear Joe,

That’s a good question and thank you for asking!  Katherine is holding a guitar to represent music.  Although Katherine only played the guitar for a short while, it was my alter Jensen’s favorite instrument to represent our music ability. Katherine actually preferred classical music and played in a concert band and jazz band. Katherine’s instruments of choice were clarinet, alto sax, oboe, and bassoon. These instruments were played all during high school. Katherine had great talent and I still have the awards earned from her musical accomplishments.

Thank you for your question,

Karen

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Karen answers Joan

Richard Baer on Dec 16th 2009

Comment by Joan on 08 Dec 2009 at 12:40 pm

karen.

something as important like the work you do here. someone as important to depressed people like me must have the secret to success. do you believe in god?

joan, detroit

Dear Joan,

Yes, I too believe that my work here on Karen’s Blog answering questions is a very important mission. I am grateful to be available to all those who hurt or have questions. I always knew that if I survived I would most certainly want to share my story. My healing was an amazing accomplishment for both me and Dr. Baer.

I received the best unconditional care from Dr. Baer, I kept my therapy close to my heart, and shared only with those I grew to trust. My secret to success is continuing my life journey to feeling whole. I am determined to succeed. It is my goal to experience a sense of calm and to feel loved.  Sometimes I still need a bit of help with my dark moments. At those times I need to accept my mistakes, learn from them, seek help when needed, and continue to be my best self.

And yes, I do believe in God.

Thank you for asking!

Karen

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Karen answers Kierstan

Richard Baer on Dec 16th 2009

Comment by Kierstan on 07 Dec 2009 at 11:05 am

Dear Karen,

Want to know what it’s like to be a christian after the church failed you? After God gave you up to abuse? After your world was destroyed by hate? How is it possible for you to maintain faith in God? Church is an archaic fascist lie that all uneducated and over educated fools of the world buy into. Don’t clergy depress you? They would me if I were you. I admire you Karen but not those who let you done under God.

Kierstan

Dear Kierstan,

God did not give me up to abuse. God provided me with a coping mechanism, multiplicity, so that with alter help, I could be in survivor mode all my life. I may have been abused, but that’s not God’s fault, that is the fault of man. The church did not fail me. A certain pastor did. I believe if my pastor would’ve taken the appropriate action when I was abused, then maybe my abuse would’ve ended and my abusers would’ve been imprisoned. The lack of knowledge, fear due to ignorance, and the guilt associated with my pastor’s lack of action caused him, not the church, to fail me.

As a matter of fact, it was my faith that kept me going. I would think about the sacrifices Jesus made for us and knew that if he could endure such pain, I could too. Somehow deep within me I had the spirit and will to live. I recall as a small child begging God to take my parents away from me, and when that didn’t happen, I started losing faith. Then one day I prayed that if I survived, I would devote my life to helping all those who have been abused.

When Dr. Baer generously offered to write my story, with my help, I saw this as a sign that God was with me all along. My alters were created to help me cope through horror. Dr. Baer was God sent. And my survival and ability to share my story was meant to be. I am here because God wanted me here. I am present to bring light to a dark place.

Thank you for your challenging question.

Karen

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Karen answers Dee

Richard Baer on Dec 16th 2009

Comment by Dee on 07 Dec 2009 at 10:52 am

Hi Karen,

Thank you. I am from Sweden. I love your courage. Book was very challenging to read but marvelously written.

Dee

Dear Dee,

Thank you for your wonderful compliments!   I’m glad you read the Swedish edition!  And thank you for believing I have courage!  Dr. Baer and I truly appreciated hearing from you.

Thank you,

Karen

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Karen answers Hannah K

Richard Baer on Dec 16th 2009

Comment by Hannah on 01 Dec 2009 at 9:56 pm

Dear Karen,

I know you are probably busy all the time but if you could what would you like to do in regards to further helping abused girls around the world? I believe you have valuable knowledge to share. I believe Richard Baer should help you achieve the purpose of your sharing your story. I don’t mean to sound not in a well meaning kind of way but really, you took such a great risk to share your past to help others. Your blog is amazing, you are amazing. I think Richard Baer did a great job with you but what does he do to continue to help you? A book is great but the reason behind the book is the focus. Keep talking, Karen. Richard, help her. I hear all these stories about abused girls and every time I think of you. You are powerful whether you think so or not. Thank you.

Hannah K.

Georgia

Dear Hannah,

Thank you for sharing. I want to be a strong voice that helps those who have been abused. It is my wish to encourage hope through sharing my story. No one needs to suffer alone. There are so many valuable lessons to share to help the abused. Many years ago, especially during my child hood years, the public didn’t know much about child sexual abuse. If I had heard anything as a child on television, or in school, I would’ve learned that the abuse I suffered was wrong.

If only the adults in my life, including the nuns at Catholic school, would’ve paid attention to the signs that were clearly visible. If only knowledge was provided without shame. If only people knew what to watch for, I might have been saved. But no, no one spoke of it, no one reported suspected abuse, and worse, I was led to believe I deserved to be abused because I was told I was evil and bad.

Knowledge is the key. The more we share our pain with each other the more awareness we can provide to stop future child abuse. It is my hope that all adults pay attention to all our children. I believe children have a way of communicating through their expressions that say, “I am being abused; please help me!”

Thank you for your concerns and for caring.

Karen

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Karen answers Lori

Richard Baer on Dec 11th 2009

Comment by Lori on 11 Dec 2009 at 1:54pm

Dear Karen,

I see that you are selling autographed books. I think that’s great but one question, can you personalize them to? I was thinking of ordering one for my teacher as a holiday gift for Christmas but thought it would be nicer if it were personalized? I just wanted to ask before I order.

Thank you!

Lori

Dear Lori,

Thank you for considering buying our book for your teacher. I would like to try to personalize a book for you. Why don’t you post to this blog as a comment what you would like Dr. Baer or me to say, that is, who it’s for and maybe a brief message. We won’t publish it, but we will have the personal information for your autographed copy of the book.

Thanks again for your interest in an autographed copy of Switching Time. I hope your teacher finds it interesting and helpful for her students.

Best holiday greetings,

Karen

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Karen answers meMonicas

Richard Baer on Dec 10th 2009

Comment by meMonicas on 05 Dec 2009 at 12:05 am

hi karen,

we haven’t been able to read your book all the way through yet – your story is way WAY too similar to what our own is to be able to get very far into the book.

we wanted to let you know how strong we think that you are – to share your life, to make us all witnesses to your experiences.

meMonicas

Dear meMonicas,

I understand how hard it must be to read through my story when you are hurting yourself. I would encourage you to take it slow until you feel a bit stronger. I also had a difficult time reading books on my illness while in the process of healing in therapy. Although I never read Sybil, I did read a few books after all my alters were integrated. My reasons were two-fold. First, I did not wish to be influenced by someone else’s story. Second, I feared my alters would become distressed by the stories and cause more chaos.

Thank you for believing I am strong. I believe you are, too. I have faith in you and know that if you decide my story is too hard to finish now, you will continue reading it at another time. Taking time for yourself to heal is most important.

Thank you for your compliments. I wish you all my best as you continue your own personal journey to wellness.

Karen

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Karen answers Emily

Richard Baer on Dec 10th 2009

Comment by Emily on 03 Dec 2009 at 1:27 am

I read this extremely touching, fascinating, and amazing book translated in Chinese(Mandarin) recently. Since the day I read, I couldn’t put it off from my hands. It’s just so…amazing…words cannot describe. I read it in my own mother language and I couldn’t wait to search the website to find more information about you and Dr. Baer. Thank God that I found your blog and this new website. Thank you for sharing your such painful personal experiences with us and this can help so many people who are in sufferings. I believe this will inspire a lot of Chinese people (I’m from Taiwan) because Asian cultures are often more conservative about revealing and discovering the truth. Thank you Karen and hope you will continue to have a peaceful life journey!

Dear Emily,

Thank you for all your kind thoughts and words of encouragement! I truly appreciate hearing from you. I admit it was difficult to share my story, but I believe it was necessary to share the truth about what can happen to victims of child sexual abuse. It’s my desire to encourage hope through sharing my story. I believe without revealing the truth about abuse, there would be no understanding. Knowledge is the key to healing.

Thank you for your wishes for my continued peaceful life journey. I will continue to try my best to live my life to the fullest. I truly appreciate your believing my story will inspire many people in your country.

Karen

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Karen answers Billie

Richard Baer on Dec 10th 2009

Comment by Billie  on 01 Dec 2009 at 9:38 pm

Karen,

You are TRULY an amazing woman!!! A SURVIVOR of so much & an inspiration to so many. ((HUGS my Friend)) I am so thankful to have had the chance to get to know you. I am proud to help fight the cause of child sexual abuse with you!!

Dear Billie!

You’re so kind and thoughtful! Thank you for bringing a smile to my face! I am so glad to have met you, too. It is my hope that together we will continue to help with the fight against child sexual abuse.

Proud to be your friend,

Karen

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Karen answers Missy

Richard Baer on Dec 10th 2009

Comment by Missy on 01 Dec 2009 at 9:25 pm
Hey Karen!
Good news today! 3,500 Child Predators and Sex offenders were kicked off of Facebook! Thank you for being a part of that!
Missy

Dear Missy,

That’s great news! I found the link and posted it on my Facebook page for all to see. I’m so glad that there are steps being taken to remove predators and sex offenders from Facebook and MySpace. There needs to be laws in place to monitor those who abuse. Child predators and sex offenders should never be allowed to steal someone’s innocence. Though we may not be able to protect all children, awareness and knowledge are most important in an effort to prevent those who are convicted from having access to our children, period.

Thank you for sharing.
Karen

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