Archive for June, 2011

Karen answers Harold

Richard Baer on Jun 26th 2011

Comment by Harold on 06 Feb 2011 at 10:55 pm

Hi Karen & Richard,

Thank you both for sharing your intimate journey. One seldom peeks into the world of a doctor and patient in session. I often guessed something quite different than what your story shared. For Richard it’s a deep and sensitive building step to take on a patient under terrible distress. You must be strong. For Karen it must have been difficult on you to build trust with a therapist who is human. Choosing to share this private time helps people like me understand the perils of therapy. I am not in therapy but my wife is. I did not comprehend her need to speak to her therapist every week. I did not comprehend why she told him things in trust that she did not tell me. I thought she was betraying me. I know better now after reading ‘A Life in Pieces’. Honestly, I am a better man for reading your story. I get it now.

Harold, UK

Dear Harold,

You’re welcome! Thank you for sharing! I’m inspired by your story. For me, sharing my story has been difficult, but it’s my desire to encourage hope. So many times, while in therapy, I fought with doubt about sharing what was discussed in safety between my therapist and myself. Why? Because I wasn’t ready or prepared to answer the million questions that would only trigger more grief. I needed to take time to first heal myself. Why can one share things with a therapist and not a husband, best friend, or family members?  For me, it would make me felt worse. My grief would bring forth suicidal thoughts. I needed to understand and accept my limitations before sharing.  I believe, based on my personal experience, it’s best to keep therapy private until one’s healing begins.

Please know that I did not feel strong in the beginning, and I did not trust Dr. Baer at first. It takes time to heal. But as time passed, I grew stronger. My faith helped me through. And slowly I began to build a trusting relationship with Dr. Baer.

I am so glad to hear that your came to understand your wife’s healing journey. Thank you for your honesty. A lesson well learned.


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Karen answers Em

Richard Baer on Jun 26th 2011

Comment by Em on 02 Feb 2011 at 9:13 pm


What are the titles of your book in different countries your story is told? I am from China and can’t find your book here. I heard I can get a English version. I speak three languages and would like to read your story. In the articles I have read about you, I feel inspired.

Thank you,


Dear Em,

The Chinese version of my story is Switching Time by Richard Baer, author. It’s published in both complex and simplified Chinese characters.  Please visit If I’m not mistaken, you can order all versions in different languages from their web site.

Thank you for asking! Please keep in touch! I’d love to hear your thoughts after reading.


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Karen answers Paul

Richard Baer on Jun 26th 2011

Comment by Paul on 01 Feb 2011 at 5:13 pm

Hi Karen,

I am in shock that you survived such horror. How did you manage life’s ups and downs with carrying so much sadness? What makes you, you? What can you share to help me shed anger for ordinary things? I have a lot of unresolved issues from being sexually abused when I was thirteen.


Dear Paul,

Interesting question. In order to survive childhood horror, you must first acknowledge it, then come to terms with understanding that your pain belongs in the past, and finally, let it be known that you would not tolerate the same type of abuse ever again. My abusers have all passed on.

I admit my anger was a bit more repressed than most, but I had alter help. If I had to deal with so much sadness on my own, without fragmenting my pain, I would most likely be an angry person unable to resolve ordinary things. But I believe in you. Have faith. I always feared I would some day explode, but when feeling such anger, I would try my best to think, “Where did it come from? What triggered such anger? Was it something I did? Did someone hurt my feelings? Did I feel neglected, rejected, or humiliated?”  I believe most likely my personal anger triggers are past dark thoughts or feelings. Once I recognized what caused me to feel rage, my anger would start to subside. Anger can be a good learning experience if you can keep it to yourself.

Please seek counseling for yourself with a qualified therapist. I know my advice isn’t a quick fix; it takes time to heal. Be patient, and you, too, can accomplish healing.


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Karen answers Vickie

Richard Baer on Jun 26th 2011

Comment by Vickie on 01 Feb 2011 at 7:54 am

“WOW, I am impressed. That goes to show you how far Karen reaches out to people. She is a remarkable woman. I do hope you get the opportunity to read her book. It will make you cry, well up with anger towards her abusers, and cheer for her amazing strength for becoming the amazing woman she has become in spite of it all. She has blessed the world for even existing.


Dear Vickie,

Thank you for adding your personal thoughts! I am blessed to have such wonderful friends! My story may be overwhelming, but the way I see it, we all learn from each other. I welcome reading your journey, too!

Have a nice day!


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Karen answers Ebony

Richard Baer on Jun 26th 2011

Comment by Ebony on 31 Jan 2011 at 7:02 pm

Dear Karen,

Reading while writing. That’s what I’m doing. I’m over half way through your book and cant put in down. Taking a break was a must. Your story is overwhelming. But even if I finish it tonight I want to tell you right this minute how important and unselfish you are for going through such a process of healing and sharing. I looked your book up and found
 25,600,998 articles from around the world. Can’t read them all but WOW! Thank you! You inspire me!


Dear Ebony,

Thank you for sharing your thoughts half way through reading Switching Time, that means a lot to me and I truly appreciate you believing in me.  I hadn’t checked on the number of articles regarding my story; that’s amazing news! Thank you for sharing!

Please know that letters such as yours are what inspire me to move forward. Wishing you all my best!


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