Archive for August, 2013

Karen answers K.C.

Richard Baer on Aug 18th 2013

Comment by K.C. on 15 Dec 2012 at 9:25 pm

Hi Karen,

I have not read your book but have ordered it. My Mother has D.I.D and I am reading anything and everything to help her work with them everyday of her life. Her husband of 40 yrs is not supportive at all and uses it to hurt her (he is my step father).  I am very protective of her and need to learn more to help her. Do you have any advice for me?  Thank you, kindly.

Dear K.C.,

Thank you for sharing! Please read my story and read through my answers here on my blog. If you have any questions, I’ll be more than happy to answer them.  I’m sorry your stepfather is not helpful with your Mom’s healing journey. That’s sad, but not unusual. Having this illness is hard for most to comprehend. It’s only been recently where it’s been accepted as real. Maybe you can share what you discover with your stepfather and the both of you can help get your Mom the therapy she needs to feel better and heal.

My advice is to go easy.  Don’t overwhelm your Mom with too many facts or all that you’ve read. Be supportive. Be there for her. Be a good listener and believe in her. Also, share with your stepfather that using her illness against her is not helpful, but more damaging to her. It’s my hope he stops; it’s important she not suffer further abuse. In my opinion, although I’m not a therapist, if pushed too far she may be triggered, which in turn can cause heightened behavioral issues and possible suicidal thoughts. Well, at least that’s what being pushed too far did to me.

Wishing you all my best.


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Karen answers Donnise

Richard Baer on Aug 18th 2013

Comment by Donnise on 16 Dec 2012 at 7:12 pm

Dearest Karen,

I just finished the book & was absolutely shocked, and am truly at a loss for words here. I am SO very sorry about all the pain you endured. You are beyond strong to have worked through it all with Dr. Baer. You are absolutely amazing! I am so happy you have been able to heal & I hope you have a VERY happy rest of your life. Take good care, all the very best to you, my dear.

Dear Donnise,

Thank you for caring about me and your awesome compliments!  I’m doing well these days and consider my life to be a work in progress. I have a few bad moments now and then, but I move past them quickly without despair. My years in therapy were indeed arduous but well worth the effort Dr. Baer put in to counsel me. We shared my journey to help me heal and it was not an easy one. But I’m very glad to have healed. I’m blessed, and most certainly living my life to the best of my ability.

Thank you for your well wishes!


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Karen answers Pearl Diver

Richard Baer on Aug 18th 2013

Comment by Pearl Diver on 16 Dec 2012 at 8:53 pm

I tell my alter, “Be a pearl; hide evil memories from me; don’t show them to me.”

You know a pearl has a sand grain in its center.

So that is where ‘alters’ come from; they are ‘pearls’ hiding evil memories from the root personality inside a shining pearl of beauty.

Tell your alter or alters, “You are a beautiful ‘pearl’. A jewel.”

Then they won’t feel so bad about who and what they are.

And if integration is too difficult or scary, then work towards harmonization.

Dear Pearl Diver,

Thank you for sharing your amazing thoughts. I’m glad you have come to understand your alters.

For me, integration worked! I am free of sharing the world with other parts of me. In the process of integration, I’ve not lost the memory of who my alters were… for now all my alters are me and I am my alters. We’re simply merged together to be one woman with a variety of interests.

Wishing you a peaceful journey to what is best for you and your alters.


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Karen answers Rayviki

Richard Baer on Aug 18th 2013

Comment by Rayviki on 18 Dec 2012 at 3:30 am

Hi karen did u recover frm ur personalities or not yet…?

Dear Rayviki,

Yes, I have recovered successfully with integration of all seventeen of my alters in 1998. Not one alter has returned. I live my life as one without dissociation. I highly doubt my alters will ever return. They have been merged within me and we are now me. One woman. No alters.

I’m very happy to be me. Thank you for your question,


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Karen answers Carrington

Richard Baer on Aug 18th 2013

Comment by Carrington on 03 Jan 2013 at 3:32 pm

Hello Karen. Are you still here? It has been rumored you died? I see your facebook account is active and can’t get on. Don’t give up. You ARE the only documented story of full integration that I could find. Your story can challenge many stories. Stop Hiding. It is my belief that if you had used your real name and whereabouts people could find you. Where can we send you a letter? Where the hell is Baer?

Carrington, UK

Dear Carrington,

Yes, I’m still here. No, I have not died. And yes, I’m still active on Facebook!

Please know that I’ve recently cleaned up my Facebook account and can now add on more friends! Thank you for your friendship and sharing that my story is the only full integration story you’ve found. I love a challenge and welcome any and all questions regarding my former multiplicity. It’s best for all to gain knowledge and to be of help to each other.

I know I’ve been on and off my blog the last few years, but I’ve been healing in another way.  I’ve left behind abuse, dysfunction, and chaos. It may appear that I’m hiding, but it’s not my intention to hide. I’m still learning and healing and trying my best to live my life as one woman.

I’m sorry but I do not have a secure mailing address at this time, but I’ll share it when available. In the meantime, you can write to me here or through the message section on Facebook. I currently live in Texas and Dr. Baer lives in Chicago.

Thank you.


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Karen answers Jonny

Richard Baer on Aug 12th 2013

Comment by Jonny on 29 Nov 2012 at 4:59 pm

Hi Karen. why no movie yet? Is it because Random House published instead of Time Warner? Will your memoirs be published the same way? Go with Time Warner so a movie can become a possibilty. The dark side intrigues me. Quite a fascinating life. Where are you now?

Dear Jonny,

Movie? Not sure, but I can say that my story would make a great movie.  Maybe someday there will be an offer. Dr. Baer and I have discussed the possibility, and there has been interest, but no deal yet. Time will tell. Maybe after the sequel is published?

I can’t answer the question regarding Random House vs. Time Warner, though it’s my understanding that Time Warner produces movies and documentaries. Good question to look into… thank you for asking.  The sequel may include some “dark side”, but hopefully in an inspirational tone.

Today I live in Texas and Dr. Baer lives in Chicago. We’re both doing well.

Thank you for your interest in our future work.


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Karen answers Mad Zakri

Richard Baer on Aug 12th 2013

Comment by Mad Zakri on 26 Nov 2012 at 9:26 am

I learned much from your story…hope u enjoy your life…free your burden…

Dear Mad Zakri,

I’m glad my story was helpful. Thank you for sharing! I’m doing my best to enjoy my life, free of burden. But realistically, burden is a reality in my life that comes and goes. What I do to help myself is face each burden straight on with optimism, knowing that with the lessons I’ve learned in therapy and by having faith, I can overcome whatever comes before me.


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Karen answers Bulldog

Richard Baer on Aug 12th 2013

Comment by Bulldog on 24 Nov 2012 at 12:13 pm

I have tried unsuccessful for ten years to get help for past trauma. Therapy has caused more distress even spiritual ritual abuse. I do not know how to get help because the therapist I have seen since my mom’s death are causing more harm. Could you help?

I have been waiting for fifty years for it to be okay.


Dear Bulldog,

Though this posting is coming far later than you have written, it’s my hope you received my earlier message. I’m sorry you have not found a qualified therapist to help you. I empathize with your concerns, but know that it takes time to build rapport with a therapist. Please give a new therapist a chance to get to know you before losing hope. I personally had a difficult time when I started therapy with Dr. Baer. I once thought of my therapist as a threat and not very helpful. I asked myself many questions: How could he possibly understand what I have experienced? Why would he want to help me? What if he didn’t believe me? Will he quit on me because I was too much too handle? Would he lock me up if I told him I wanted to suicide?

Therapy can be frightening. It scared me half to death, but it was well worth the investment. I healed and you can, too! Please don’t give up. Remember, it’s taken you forty years to get to this point of wanting help. The last ten years may not have brought you a sense of calm, but it’s never too late to receive help. Have faith!

Wishing you all my best as you journey to wellness!


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Karen answers Belle

Richard Baer on Aug 12th 2013

Comment by Belle on 10 Nov 2012 at 4:13 pm

Hi Karen,

I am wishing you a Happy Thanksgiving. I am thankful you shared your story and to tell you the truth it helped me to survive my disability. I almost ended my life but woke up after reading Switching Time. Tell Richard Baer thanks for me. Hope you stay well.

Dear Belle,

Thank you for your Thanksgiving wishes! Hopefully you received my message sent through Facebook long ago…I’m glad to hear my story helped you through your journey. I’m also glad to hear from you and know that you chose to live! Dr. Baer has read your thank you and appreciates your good wishes.

Be safe, stay well, and know you can still find me here or on Facebook!

Blessings sent your way!


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Karen answers Angela

Richard Baer on Aug 12th 2013

Comment by Angela on 10 Nov 2012 at 2:11 pm

Do Not give up Karen. You have the answer. You have faith and we need to hear your part of your story. You can do it! Get your book down! Why doesn’t your doctor or agent help you? You are not to be forgotten!


Dear Angela,

I will never ever give up! Though I do admit to have a few challenging moments. I don’t have all the answers, but it would be nice to receive a few answers to my prayers to help move me forward when I am feeling blue. I’m human and I do feel blue at times… the difference is now I can identify those times and change my thoughts. My healing journey is a lifetime journey. What I do know is that there’s nothing I can’t deal with when my faith is strong. It takes time to heal.

Thank you for sharing your interest in a new book!  I have faith that it will happen!  I’ve been writing.  Dr. Baer has not received my writing yet, but I hope to send it to him soon. There’s a revision that needs to be included: an exciting turn of events. Once Dr. Baer reads through my writing, we’ll decide together the best course of action.

Thank you for your compliments about my contribution through sharing my story.  That means a lot to me!


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