Karen answers Multiplemarissa

Richard Baer on May 28th 2009

 

Comment by Multiplemarissa on 25 May 2009 at 12:25 pm
The primary reason for most of MY alters was my traumatic childhood. Most of my alters were created for my survival. Several of the personalities created were babies, who survived almost 20 to 25 years in isolation before they discovered each other inside. It was almost 30 years before I discovered them. To tell them that I do not need them now and ask for them to be FUSED / INTEGRATED is nothing but genocide.
Imagine you were a baby personality, living in a dark spot inside someone else, yelled and mocked at every time you came out. Eventually, things seem normal outside and you think it is safe to venture out and explain the reason for your existence. You are no threat to anyone and are content to remain within your host body. Imagine how terrifying it must be to have people talk of getting rid of you / fusing you ’cause you are of no use. They think they have integrated you, but little do they realize they have driven you into a state of shock were you know you exist but cannot talk, articulate your thoughts or even indicate you exist.
Dear Multiplemarissa,
 
I’m sorry to hear that your experience with integration wasn’t what you expected. I’ve been fortunate to have had a positive experience with the merging of my alters.  No two cases are alike.  It’s my hope that through sharing my journey, others may seek proper professional help with a qualified therapist to accompany them on their own individual journeys to wellness.
 
I empathize with you; most of my alters were children. They needed to come out and face what had happened to them that caused their “birth.”  Like you, each alter was born from a traumatic experience.  I believe if my child alters stayed put and never surfaced, I would not have healed.  For me, integration was God sent.  I am alive and well.  I am a woman who gained a life I never thought possible.  I most certainly don’t regret integration.
 
No one forced me to integrate my alters, including the alters themselves.  My integration was decided upon by my own inner system.  Dr. Baer provided me with a safe setting and made sure each alter felt secure and wanted to integrate.  My therapeutic relationship with Dr. Baer worked because my alters grew to trust him, and they knew that in order for me to feel well, they would need to merge within me.  Some felt they would be “gotten rid of”, but when they realized they would be part of a stronger self, they all wanted that.  Not one alter was lost, killed, or forgotten. There was no genocide.  Each of my ex-alters is within me.  And I am all of them.
 
Thank you for sending your comments.
 
Karen

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