Karen answers K.C.

Richard Baer on Aug 18th 2013

Comment by K.C. on 15 Dec 2012 at 9:25 pm

Hi Karen,

I have not read your book but have ordered it. My Mother has D.I.D and I am reading anything and everything to help her work with them everyday of her life. Her husband of 40 yrs is not supportive at all and uses it to hurt her (he is my step father).  I am very protective of her and need to learn more to help her. Do you have any advice for me?  Thank you, kindly.

Dear K.C.,

Thank you for sharing! Please read my story and read through my answers here on my blog. If you have any questions, I’ll be more than happy to answer them.  I’m sorry your stepfather is not helpful with your Mom’s healing journey. That’s sad, but not unusual. Having this illness is hard for most to comprehend. It’s only been recently where it’s been accepted as real. Maybe you can share what you discover with your stepfather and the both of you can help get your Mom the therapy she needs to feel better and heal.

My advice is to go easy.  Don’t overwhelm your Mom with too many facts or all that you’ve read. Be supportive. Be there for her. Be a good listener and believe in her. Also, share with your stepfather that using her illness against her is not helpful, but more damaging to her. It’s my hope he stops; it’s important she not suffer further abuse. In my opinion, although I’m not a therapist, if pushed too far she may be triggered, which in turn can cause heightened behavioral issues and possible suicidal thoughts. Well, at least that’s what being pushed too far did to me.

Wishing you all my best.


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