Karen answers Connor

Richard Baer on Jan 19th 2009

Comment by Connor on January 15, 2009 8:34 pm

Did any of your alters ever cause you to be arrested?  I am a person with seven alters and one of them has recently become a serious problem. I don’t know what to do. We are all in therapy and Beau, an alter of mine, keeps starting fights everytime he’s out. My psychologist bailed me out of jail twice. It’s so emnbarassing and hard for me to accept. I’d do anything to stop this alter, including die. What would your therapist do? Did this ever happen to you with your alters Miles, Karl or other?

Connor, host of seven

Dear Connor,

I’m sorry to hear that one of your alters is causing you serious problems at this time. None of my alters ever caused me to be arrested, but there were many times I felt as if I would. I was always afraid I’d done something wrong, even though I hadn’t. It’s sad that one of your alters, Beau, feels so threatened that he causes an outburst that leads to you being arrested.  I am not a therapist, but in my opinion, your alter, Beau, must be suffering, needs attention, feels threatened or hurt, and needs to talk.  I believe that your therapist may be able to help by talking to Beau about his anger, instead of waiting to bail you out of jail after he acts out.

I can empathize with you wanting to stop Beau from causing more grief, but dying is not the answer.  I admit, there were many times when my ex-alters threatened to take action.  I was lucky Dr. Baer knew how to diffuse them.  Whenever I sensed stress building, I knew I needed to call my therapist.  Sometimes Dr. Baer would put me under hypnosis and talk to my distressed and angry alter, and that seemed to work. I believe once the trauma or aggravation felt by the alter is discussed, the acting out doesn’t come into play. During therapy Dr. Baer always told me, “Thoughts are okay, acting out is not.”  My alters were born to protect me, not bring me harm.

Thank you for your questions.  I wish you well as you continue your journey towards healing.


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