Karen answers Anonymous

Richard Baer on Jan 30th 2009

Comment by Anonymous on January 28, 2009 4:23 pm

Awesome work! Thanks for your time and effort in providing help to others. The book of your life was an exhausting read but definitely knowledgable. I learned more about multiple personality from Switching Time than any other book written on this illness. Most books donʼt include the healing process. My sister has been diagnosed with DID and I thought she was full of crap.  I knew she was abused when we were kids because I witnessed our father raping her.  I never told her about this when I was thirteen and she eleven because at the time I thought she wanted him to do it to her.  I didnʼt say anything because I shouldʼve stopped him and didnʼt.  I have lived with this guilt for ten years and first started feeling ill now.  My sister is in therapy and the doctor wants to meet me. Should I go and tell the truth?  Is it to late?  I watch that new show and my sister doesnʼt act like Tara so she must not have DID right?  I am torn.  What if my sister wonʼt like me anymore?  I shouldʼve helped her long ago instead of judging her.

I needed to tell someone, I chose you.

Dear Anonymous,

Thank you for sharing.  You are brave and have taken your first step in your own personal journey!  I admire your strength in trying to come to terms with what had happened to your sister and your feelings of helplessness being unable to help her at the time.  You were traumatized, too!  Please don’t be so hard on yourself, you were also a child at the time, and did not understand the severity of the act you witnessed. I am not a therapist and can’t give advice, but it’s never too late to seek help and make a difference in both of your  lives.

It sounds to me that you are ready to face what you’ve kept within yourself for awhile now. Please do seek help, if not with your sister’s therapist, then with your own.  I can understand why you don’t wish to reveal what you witnessed for fear your sister may get upset with you.  However, her therapist will help her through this.  Knowing the truth is a must, it may free the tension between you.

Please don’t compare the illness of multiplcity with the characters on the show USoT.  It’s just a television show and not an accurate depiction of the illness: dissociative identity disorder.  This show may have some moments of familiarity about the disease, but it’s for entertainment purposes and is not a documentary.  I am not the same as “Tara”, and your sister is not either.  Each case is unique shouldn’t be compare with another. What’s most important is believing in your sister without judging her.

My best wishes for you and your sister for a safe journey towards healing.

Thank you for your compliments and for your confidence in trusting me with your pain.


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