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\nComment by Nancy Kay\u00a0on 16 Jul 2009 at 10:03 am<\/span><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n
Dear Karen,<\/span><\/p>\n
I am having the most horrible day. You see, I hurt as you once did. I was abused and recently broke up with my boyfriend because I shared that I was abused with him. He said he needed a normal relationship without the baggage of my past abuse which would ultimately cause him grief that he didn\u2019t wish to partake in. We dated for three years. It took me three years to share what happened to me. I trusted him now regret so much. I feel sick all the time and haven\u2019t left my house all week. I called in vacation time at work. Luckily I have four weeks vacation left this year. I wanted to end my life during my vacation. I can\u2019t make myself a cup a coffee. Can\u2019t sleep and when I do sleep nightmares constantly wake me.<\/span><\/p>\n
A friend gave me your book last week. I threw it back at her and it hit the floor. She left my place upset. I thought how dare she when I am feeling so depressed give me a depressing book. The book sat on the floor in the spot it fell for four days before I picked it up. I didn\u2019t talk to my friend since. I hated her so much for hurting me. Then I picked it up and read the prologue. I was distracted from myself and kept reading. I finished it in two days. I feel so horribly guilty now that I lost my friend. I told her I hated her. I doubt she\u2019s ever going to forgive me. She must have read your story and thought it would help me. She was right. Your story helped me a great deal.<\/span><\/p>\n
What should I do now? Because of my depressed self everyone hates me. I hate myself. Have you ever told someone you love you hated them? Did you ever talk with them again? My friend was like a sister to me. I love her and miss her so much. I am the worse person in the world and feel I should just die.<\/span><\/p>\n
I don\u2019t regret reading your story. I felt relieved knowing that you survived. If you survived what happened to you I think I can to. I thought back to my relationship with my boyfriend and realized he wasn\u2019t the one for me anyway. Maybe it was time to break up with him anyway. My boyfriend never like my best friend, he always thought of himself more than me that\u2019s why it took me so long to share with him. When he asked me to marry him I felt being honest about my past was important and the right thing to do. I was wrong. He is incapable of loving anyone but himself. Your story opened my mind to think of what I need. I found out I don\u2019t need him. Thank you.<\/span><\/p>\n
Can you please answer my questions about my best friend. It\u2019s been almost a week and I\u2019m afraid to call. I don\u2019t know what to say to her.<\/span><\/p>\n
Nancy Kay<\/span><\/p>\n
Vermont<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n
Dear Nancy Kay,<\/span><\/p>\n
I’m sorry to hear about what happened to you. \u00a0Sometimes it takes me a few days to read and answer my blog posts.\u00a0I hope you are feeling better today!<\/span><\/p>\n
I understand what you are going through. \u00a0I know that you feel betrayed. \u00a0That’s how I would’ve felt, too. \u00a0During my years of therapy I too shared some of my past abuse with my ex-husband. \u00a0He reacted in the same way as your boyfriend did. \u00a0I felt crushed and regretted sharing with him, but in the long run I learned valuable lessons from my pain. If someone, anyone, boyfriend or friend, judges you by the abuse you have suffered, they are not your friend. \u00a0A true friend would take in what you shared before jumping to conclusions. A true friend will come back and apologize if he or she hurt you.<\/span><\/p>\n
I appreciate you sharing your story and how you came to read mine.\u00a0 I am glad to hear that my story helped you come to a better understanding of your depression.\u00a0 I admit my story can be difficult to read by someone who is in pain. \u00a0However, I believe your friend truly cares for you and was just trying to be supportive by sharing the book. \u00a0I believe she sensed your pain and felt my story would help you. \u00a0Please give your friend a call, and share with her what you have shared with me. \u00a0Show her this post. \u00a0If she truly is your friend, she will understand what you were going through. \u00a0It’s\u00a0not too late.<\/span><\/p>\n
Yes, I have told someone I love that I hated them, too. \u00a0I felt very hurt by\u00a0something they said and reacted from the pain of my past. \u00a0Sometimes people say things they don’t realize are hurtful. \u00a0As a once abused person myself, I believe\u00a0we are especially sensitive to\u00a0such misunderstandings. \u00a0The friend I said that to was hurt by my words, but we talked and forgave each other. \u00a0I was\u00a0relieved to be heard and understood. \u00a0No one is perfect, we all make mistakes now and then.<\/span><\/p>\n
I am glad to hear that you chose not to end your life. \u00a0That’s an important step to overcoming your pain. \u00a0I’m\u00a0sure no one hates you. \u00a0Those close to you\u00a0may just be giving you space so that you can understand what you need to do to help yourself. \u00a0I’m sure if you call them or write them a letter, they will feel better and you will, too.<\/span><\/p>\n
Wishing you a safe journey through healing.<\/span><\/p>\n
Karen<\/span><\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Comment by Nancy Kay\u00a0on 16 Jul 2009 at 10:03 am Dear Karen, I am having the most horrible day. You see, I hurt as you once did. I was abused and recently broke up with my boyfriend because I shared that I was abused with him. He said he needed a normal relationship without the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1174","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-karens-answers"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1174","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1174"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1174\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1176,"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1174\/revisions\/1176"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1174"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1174"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1174"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}