<\/p>\n
\nComment by Dani on 03 Jan 2010 at 10:02 pm<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n
Karen,<\/span><\/p>\n
Could you ask Dr. Richard Baer a question for me? Do you ever talk with him? I am having re-occurring nightmares about one particular rape attack. I was raped more than once by the same relative and one time it was more terrible than the other times. I didn\u2019t report my rape but with too much bleeding had to be hospitalized with a torn female organ. I was asked what happened but was too afraid to tell the ER doctor I was raped with an object. I was treated, given blood and released two days later but worry that I am no longer able to have children. I read your story and you were able to conceive so maybe I will to. I am ashamed. The first time he raped me I was 13, then repeatedly until 16. I didn\u2019t see him for 3 years and then he found out I was a student at a college two hours from home. He came to visit and during that visit pushed me down and raped me. I feel so ill. Can you ask Dr. Richard Baer if I am damaged for life? Thank you. I wish to be strong like you. WWYD Karen?<\/span><\/p>\n
Dani<\/span><\/p>\n
Michigan<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n
Dear Dani,<\/span><\/p>\n
I’m sorry that you are suffering at this time. I asked Dr. Baer your question, but first I will share my experiences from what I have learned from Dr. Baer during my many years in therapy. <\/span><\/p>\n
Recalling past abuse can be devastating, but being re-visited by a past abuser is horrific. It is not too late to report your abuser to authorities. Since the same relative has recently raped you, it is something that should be immediately reported to the authorities. Abuse is abuse. Rape is rape. He will rape again and again. Your abuser is already a repeat offender. Men who have these thoughts and act on them need professional help, while incarcerated! They can’t heal themselves. In my opinion, based of my own personal experience, for I am not a qualified therapist,\u00a0your relative belongs in prison.<\/span><\/p>\n
I am disappointed in and surprised that the hospital emergency room you were admitted\u00a0to didn’t check further into your injuries. Most ER physicians can tell the difference between someone who has been traumatized by rape and the excuses the victim may say out of fear and embarrassment. Please don’t take the blame. You were the victim. There is nothing to be ashamed of, though that’s easy for me to say now. Just like you, for a long time I kept quiet and didn’t reveal much. I regret that now.<\/span><\/p>\n
During my therapy\u00a0with Dr. Baer, I too, felt that I was damaged for life after the sexual abuse I suffered. But\u00a0by the time I\u00a0started therapy, I’d already conceived and gave birth to two beautiful healthy children. Dr. Baer explained\u00a0that even after all the abuse, the vagina has a remarkable capacity to repair itself. The female body is designed to withstand the trauma of giving birth. I suspect you will have no problems having children of your own despite the abuse you’ve suffered, but you should get checked out by a gynecologist so that you can be reassured of this. \u00a0Dr. Baer urged me get checked out and I\u2019m glad I did.<\/span><\/p>\n
You asked me\u00a0what I would do if I were you? I would\u00a0report this relative to the police before he hurts you again or someone else. \u00a0Dr. Baer agrees, and said you should report this as soon as possible.<\/span><\/p>\n
Karen <\/span><\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Comment by Dani on 03 Jan 2010 at 10:02 pm Karen, Could you ask Dr. Richard Baer a question for me? Do you ever talk with him? I am having re-occurring nightmares about one particular rape attack. I was raped more than once by the same relative and one time it was more terrible than […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1881","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-karens-answers"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1881","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1881"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1881\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1883,"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1881\/revisions\/1883"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1881"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1881"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1881"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}