<\/p>\n
\nComment by Mary\u00a0on 08 Apr 2010 at 9:29 am<\/span><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n
Hi Karen,<\/span><\/p>\n
Blessing to you! I read your story and found it very inspirational. My question refers to your switching ability during your marriage. When your alters came back full force after the birth of your daughter did you find hard to maintain intimacy with your husband. Was there a \u2018turnoff\u2019 point where you recall not wanting to be intimate with him or vice versa. As a woman suffering from DID I am having difficulties in this area. I am in therapy and it\u2019s helped but how did YOU keep your alters out of the bedroom? I would like to know how I can maintain my femininity? Thank you.<\/span><\/p>\n
Mary<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n
Dear Mary,<\/span><\/p>\n
My alters were always present, but were largely dormant until the trauma of my daughter\u2019s birth triggered them back in full force in order to help me survive. My alters were very protective of me and my best interest was always their highest priority. I believe my intimacy with my husband would not have been affected if he could’ve understood what happened to me during my childhood. But I had never shared my abusive past with him because I always tried to cover things up and put on a good face. Perhaps he felt betrayed. <\/span><\/p>\n
My husband and I shared a good intimate relationship before the birth of our daughter. \u00a0But after her birth, because of my switching, it was difficult because I couldn’t remember us being married or intimate. My memory was disassociated within me. After her birth, I didn’t even recognize him. \u00a0As I relearned what my life was all about, I tried my best to be the woman my husband married. I lived a lie. I faked and guessed how I should act, but he could tell I was not the same. My husband never knew what happened to me and felt rejected; his rejection then turned to anger, and finally his frustration caused him to hate and abuse me. <\/span><\/p>\n
During my hospital stay for depression, one doctor on staff (not Dr. Baer) thought it wise to share with my husband that I had been abused. BIG mistake. If I had been the one to tell him, things may have been different. Sadly, my world collapsed when my husband was told and he was disgusted by my history of being abused. From that point on my husband completely stopped being intimate with me and loving me. He started drinking heavily and alcoholism soon followed.<\/span><\/p>\n
My alters stayed out of the bedroom as long as love and intimacy was present with kindness, compatibility, respect, and trust. If I became afraid, my alters’ survivor instinct would kick into place and I could attack and hurt my husband. Actually, I believe my alters Miles and Karl kicked my husband out of bed several times. <\/span><\/p>\n
Thank your for your questions. Wishing you peace as you continue your own journey to wellness.<\/span><\/p>\n
Karen<\/span><\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Comment by Mary\u00a0on 08 Apr 2010 at 9:29 am Hi Karen, Blessing to you! I read your story and found it very inspirational. My question refers to your switching ability during your marriage. When your alters came back full force after the birth of your daughter did you find hard to maintain intimacy with your […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2197","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-karens-answers"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2197","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2197"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2197\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2198,"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2197\/revisions\/2198"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2197"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2197"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2197"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}