<\/p>\n
\nComment by Guy\u00a0on 28 Sep 2010 at 7:49 pm<\/span><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n
What is it about people who pretend to dissociate? Can you tell when someone is faking? I could not. Have you been led to believe in someone who faked being raped or abused and fell for it developing compassion only to find out they lied? I have been duped. I am pissed. I loved her and she lied about being a victim of sexual abuse. I bought it. How can I prevent falling for a false abuse act again? How can I tell if a woman was abused? What can you tell me about trusting your heart?<\/span><\/p>\n
Guy Betrayed<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n
Dear Guy,<\/span><\/p>\n
I’m sorry someone lied to you and led you to believe she was a victim of sexual abuse. I’m not sure why anyone would make up such a story unless to seek negative attention. I’m not a therapist, but I believe this woman who lied to you has many more issues to deal with. <\/span><\/p>\n
I’m very attuned to others–not by choice, but from my past experiences of being hyper-alert to all around me. Let’s just say I had to be attuned in order to protect myself. Not that being attuned is foolproof, but it is a gift. Most of the time I can spot a lie immediately. A lie will provoke an ill feeling within me. But that doesn’t mean I am always right. <\/span><\/p>\n
All I can suggest about future relationships is to pay attention to the signs. Learn more about what can happen to an abused person, and most importantly, trust your instincts. But please don’t accuse anyone before knowing the facts. Maybe your friend felt abused or manipulated? There may be more to her story than she is sharing. And that may be why she can’t share the truth. <\/span><\/p>\n
When my abuse started to surface in my memory, I did not share with my husband or close friends. I felt ashamed. I thought they might end our relationship. If possible, talk it through with her. \u00a0For closure, ask her, point blank, what the truth is and why she lied. I believe she has a reason. Abuse is abuse. She may simply not wish to share anymore knowing you don’t believe her. <\/span><\/p>\n
Please know that a victim hurts in many ways. If abused and feeling threatened, she will be inconsistent in sharing her story.<\/span><\/p>\n
Wishing you a sense of calm as you re-build trust in future relationships.<\/span><\/p>\n
Karen<\/span><\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Comment by Guy\u00a0on 28 Sep 2010 at 7:49 pm What is it about people who pretend to dissociate? Can you tell when someone is faking? I could not. Have you been led to believe in someone who faked being raped or abused and fell for it developing compassion only to find out they lied? I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2474","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-karens-answers"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2474","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2474"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2474\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2475,"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2474\/revisions\/2475"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2474"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2474"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2474"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}