<\/p>\n
\nComment by Nancy on 04 Nov 2010 at 11:27 pm<\/span><\/p>\n
Dear Karen,<\/span><\/p>\n
Do you need protection from your family for telling your story? Does every one of your friends and family know what you went through and suffered through? I read your book and would like to ask for an opinion. Do you tell every one you meet? I am inspired by you to talk about my abuse. You are right no children should ever suffer again. Not these days. Our future is an open book. You said we encourage hope through sharing our stories so I made a decision today to report my father who raped me when I was 12 and until I moved out at 18. I am twenty three and in therapy. My therapist said it\u2019s my decision. I have two young sister ages 15 and 19 living at home. I never asked them if they to were abused but I suspect my 19 year sister was. What should I do? Should I tell her I am going to report our father or wait? I admire you and would respect your help with this or even if you ask Dr. Baer what he thinks I should do? I never told anyone about this before. You are the first beside Dr. Troy.<\/span><\/p>\n
Thank you.<\/span><\/p>\n
Nancy<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n
Dear Nancy,<\/span><\/p>\n
Thank you for sharing. I\u2019m glad you\u2019ve decided to report your father and seek help for yourself. I know that doing so is difficult for you. But know that we all need to make decisions that meet our needs and to do what we think is right. Removing an abuser from the streets before he hurts someone else is the right thing to do, especially if it’s your sister.<\/span><\/p>\n
I am not a therapist and can’t give advice, but if I were you, I would share your story with your sisters and let them know what you went through.\u00a0Then carefully explain your plans to report your father. Tell them what happened to you, but do not expect them to share the same with you, unless they are ready. Your sisters may express anger and disbelief, or compassion and empathy, but what’s most important is to allow them space to absorb what you’ve said. Tell them you need to report your father’s abuse\u00a0for yourself\u00a0and that you do not hold any expectations they do the same. At the same time, don’t allow them to turn you aside from what you’ve decided to do.<\/span><\/p>\n
During my healing, sharing was difficult for me. I chose not to share with all friends and family members for my own sense of self and peace of mind. I didn’t share until after my therapy ended. For me, that was best. There were many different people in my life,\u00a0some toxic, many not.\u00a0But in sharing, exposed truths can destroy many relationships. I\u00a0needed to heal, feel secure, and gain strength through trust. My family was not there to protect me. <\/span>At this time not all family members and friends know my story. I chose cautiously. As time passes, I will share more.<\/span><\/p>\n
Wishing you all my best for a safe journey,<\/span><\/p>\n
Karen<\/span><\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Comment by Nancy on 04 Nov 2010 at 11:27 pm Dear Karen, Do you need protection from your family for telling your story? Does every one of your friends and family know what you went through and suffered through? I read your book and would like to ask for an opinion. Do you tell every […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2535","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-karens-answers"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2535","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2535"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2535\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2536,"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2535\/revisions\/2536"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2535"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2535"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2535"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}