<\/p>\n
\nComment by Morgan on 06 Nov 2010 at 10:38 pm<\/span><\/p>\n
You survived mpd, you survived abuse, rape, bad relationships and suicide. How? I was raped at fifteen and am now twenty-eight. I feel dirty all the time. How is it possible to forget the dirt that penetrated you? How did you save your heart from not judging all men as assholes? Why a male therapist? I had to change to a female therapist cause I couldn\u2019t look my male therapist in the eye.<\/span><\/p>\n
Morgan<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n
Dear Morgan,<\/span><\/p>\n
I survived with faith, the will to live, and a great support system! I could not have survived on my own, and I believe it took teamwork to heal me. When I met Dr. Baer, I was at the end of my rope. I was suicidal and very afraid of sharing my past abuse. I didn’t think anyone would listen and believe me. I felt cheap, dirty, ugly, unloved, and didn’t care about myself. I blamed myself. I hated all men and never thought for a moment I could survive. <\/span><\/p>\n
There is no easy answer how I survived. For me, sharing was a huge relief and lifted the weight of past abuse from my shoulders. I don’t believe forgetting is a choice. No one can forget being abused. It will come back to haunt you time and again until you acknowledge the past and deal with it. Confront the past and your pain will subside. It will not go away, but it will subside to a mere buzz when you choose to no longer allow your past to destroy you. It took me many years to understand that my pain belonged in my past. Soon after I understood that, I no longer could tolerate my past to exist in my present, nor would I welcome my past in my future. It takes time to heal. Please don’t be so hard on yourself.<\/span><\/p>\n
Why a male therapist? I don’t know. I did have a choice that first day. I chose a male therapist. At the time I hated all men. Maybe I assumed a male therapist would anger me and I could quit easily? I don’t know, but I have to admit, a male therapist that listened to me unconditionally changed my “I hate all men” to “I guess some men can be nice.” <\/span><\/p>\n
Thank you for your questions! Wishing you well!<\/span><\/p>\n
Karen<\/span><\/p>\n
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