{"id":2625,"date":"2011-03-19T20:01:56","date_gmt":"2011-03-20T01:01:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/?p=2625"},"modified":"2011-03-19T20:01:56","modified_gmt":"2011-03-20T01:01:56","slug":"karen-answers-jessica-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/?p=2625","title":{"rendered":"Karen answers Jessica"},"content":{"rendered":"

Comment by Jessica\u00a0on 09 Jan 2011 at 5:16 am<\/em><\/p>\n

Hi Karen, My name is Jess, I\u2019m twenty years old and I have just finished reading Switching Times. I randomly picked that book up when I was at the library, looking for books about bipolar\/disorders because I am looking for some sort of sign that could help me cure something that is severely wrong with me. It has opened my mind in a new direction towards personality disorder, but I\u2019m so entirely confused about it all. I self-harm, severely depressed, suicidal, I have been diagnosed with bipolar (but I believe my therapist only diagnosed me with bipolar because of my depression and the 17 cut marks on my wrist) and I\u2019ve had an eating disorder for about 9 years. I have been through sexual abuse as a child, but all the memories are blurred. After reading Switching Times, it brought back fuzzy memories, some (although very hazy) that automatically popped back into my mind, some I didn\u2019t even remember. All throughout my childhood, to my teenage years, up until now, I have been \u201ctroubled\u201d and no body could deal with me. No body \u201cknows what to do with me.\u201d My mother has a long history of bipolar and I assumed it has been passed down to me because I do agree that I have been diagnosed with bipolar. But I know that there\u2019s something else wrong with me. I\u2019ve caused a lot of damage in the past and currently I have been making everything a wreck. I don\u2019t know what to do anymore. The book is about your seventeen personalities, and after reading this book, I question if this is a problem that I have too? I don\u2019t recall having different names for different alters. I don\u2019t even have different alters. Or perhaps it\u2019s because I don\u2019t know it? Did you know you had different alters right from the start? I, too, sometimes do things I don\u2019t recall doing, but it\u2019s probably because my horrible memory. But I also do things that take over my mind and I feel like I turn into somebody else. Like when I drive around in my car, I waste so much gas and I know it, but I still do it, and I know I\u2019m going to suffer from it later when I have don\u2019t have any gas left. Is that another alter that comes through me? I just don\u2019t understand the fact of acknowledging an alter. This may seem silly, wondering if I have an alter. I feel like after reading this book, I sense that my mother must of had multiple personality disorder as well, she always had so many different sides which is why the doctors diagnosed her with bipolar. But it came to the point where sometimes I didn\u2019t know her anymore. Like there was a stranger living with me. My family tells me that very same thing to me, as if they don\u2019t know who I am at times. I know that you are not a therapist, and I know you do not have direct answers for everything, but I\u2019m asking you because you have experienced it all, do you know automatically if you have those alters? I know I should get help, and I have, I had one therapist that was extremely nice, but I felt like the other two (I had three) only wanted my money because at the end of every session they would tell me my bill and ask for it to be paid immediately. I currently don\u2019t have the funds to go into treatment. I just want to know that there Is something there that is wrong with me after all these years of have ruining my life. I just want to finally understand me somehow. Thank you for reading my comment and I just want you to know you are a brave and courageous woman to have been dealt with such hardships and to have survived it all, and still going strong. Honestly, thank you for allowing to share your story and I hope that millions out there take it all in and reach out to those who are suffering from any form of abuse.<\/p>\n

With lots of love,<\/p>\n

Jessica<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Dear Jessica,<\/p>\n

Thank you for sharing your story with me. I understand and can empathize with the confusion you feel. Please know that there is no easy answer. During my childhood and until my diagnosis of multiple personality disorder, I was unaware of my distinct alters. There were more times than I can count where I would find myself somewhere I hadn’t planned on being; many times I didn’t feel alone within myself. \u00a0There were too many coincidences in which things would get done out of my awareness by me. \u00a0But most of all, simply knowing that there was something happening to me out of my control. My alters didn’t just appear overnight, they developed over time. \u00a0They were my hope, survival, faith, and simply my way of coping through severe abuse.<\/p>\n

Knowing whether you have alters doesn’t come to one’s mind unless chaos presents itself. It’s important to seek help with a qualified therapist who can help you uncover the trauma that has fragmented your thoughts and feelings. Whether or not you have alters helping you, your therapist will help you understand why you may feel disconnected from yourself. What’s most important is not to self-diagnose yourself, or define yourself by your mother’s diagnosis and life journey. Each of us has our own needs and journey to attend to. Please take care of yourself first.<\/p>\n

Regarding cutting yourself, I understand. I’ve been there, too. But there was a reason for it that my therapist helped me come to understand. In my opinion, based on my own experiences, cutting replaces a much deeper pain. I once assumed cutting would take my inner pain away. Not true. But without help, I wouldn’t have known better.<\/p>\n

Please know that I have faith in you. Thank you for all your kind thoughts.<\/p>\n

Karen<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Comment by Jessica\u00a0on 09 Jan 2011 at 5:16 am Hi Karen, My name is Jess, I\u2019m twenty years old and I have just finished reading Switching Times. I randomly picked that book up when I was at the library, looking for books about bipolar\/disorders because I am looking for some sort of sign that could […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2625","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-karens-answers"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2625","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2625"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2625\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2626,"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2625\/revisions\/2626"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2625"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2625"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2625"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}