{"id":428,"date":"2008-11-08T02:05:56","date_gmt":"2008-11-08T02:05:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/switchingtime.wordpress.com\/?p=428"},"modified":"2008-11-08T02:05:56","modified_gmt":"2008-11-08T02:05:56","slug":"karen-answers-stampedes-2nd-question","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/?p=428","title":{"rendered":"Karen answers Stampede’s 2nd question"},"content":{"rendered":"

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Comment by Stampede on November 6, 2008 12:30 pm<\/span> <\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

I have written before and I shared with you that I have DID as well and was diagnosed 6 almost 7 years ago. Your story is a true inspiration to those of us who think integration is impossible.
\nAfter reading your book I looked at reviews and such to see what others thought . Every so often I doubt my diagnosis because I feel lost in my healing process. I actually question do I really have it. In the reviews, many people still say there isn<\/span>\u02bc<\/span>t such a thing as DID. Even doctors I have seen or read about say there are many people that are diagnosed that don<\/span>\u02bc<\/span>t really have it. Doctors still say it is very rare for people to have complete and separate alters or identity parts. Because of this, I constantly question my diagnosis. In one review I read where a doctor was sending people to a treatment center and the center treated them for DID but they never really had it. That scares me because I have been to that treatment center and know others who have been and all with the diagnosis. They were treated and I wonder now did that treatment center knowingly treat people that weren<\/span>\u02bc<\/span>t really DID. I also wonder was I one of the ones they treated who doesn<\/span>\u02bc<\/span>t really have it.
\nDid you ever struggle with such questions? In therapy, I have have been taught about radical acceptance. Did you do that? I just am having a hard time with radical acceptance. I don<\/span>\u02bc<\/span>t believe things at face value and I question the reality of this disorder or illness that I have all the time. Because I am just an alter in this system, I question the abuse also. I question the memories. It is like a snowball effect.
\nI question the memories as to their authenticity, then I question the diagnosis, which in turn makes me question the doctors and therapists that I see. It cycles then back to questioning the memories. Did you have trouble with this or did you just accept what Dr. Baer and your alters told you?
\nI just want to feel better about my life and reality of it.
\nStampede<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Dear Stampede,<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

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I am glad you wrote back to me and shared all\u00a0your concerns about the authenticity of\u00a0multiple personality disorder. I had my doubts, too!\u00a0 However, I couldn’t deny all the evidence that surrounded me.\u00a0 There were many signs throughout my life that were unexplainable to me, although\u00a0I\u00a0kept silent about them.\u00a0 This illness is such an lonely illness, and\u00a0despite\u00a0all the\u00a0alters that lived within me, I never really knew who “I” was until after integration.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

MPD\u00a0is real illness. Please don’t allow anyone to tell you otherwise. \u00a0<\/span>But on the other hand, I know how hard it is to believe in the possibility of switching alters, and that the hallmark of this illness is losing time. \u00a0MPD is a dissociative disorder.\u00a0 People with this disorder have many periods of time for which they cannot account.\u00a0 If you do suffer dissociative episodes, then you might receive\u00a0a sense of calm\u00a0thinking of it this way:\u00a0“My mind has fragmented and has stored all signs of abuse and trauma into different compartments.\u00a0\u00a0Through integration, all these compartments will become one clear set of memories that will be\u00a0mine and\u00a0mine alone”.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

During\u00a0my years in therapy, I chose never to read about, ask too many questions, or look to others who claimed to suffer from MPD\/DID.\u00a0 My reason for doing this was simple.\u00a0 I did not want anything to influence my healing in a negative way.\u00a0 Neither Dr. Baer nor my alters ever told me what to do.\u00a0 As a matter of fact, Dr. Baer never treated me as special or like a freak, or ever acted as if I were being untruthful.\u00a0 In my therapy, Dr. Baer sat in front of me, listened intently, and never once told me anything I already didn’t really know. \u00a0<\/span>All the memories I shared with Dr. Baer were\u00a0already set in stone somewhere within my mind; it just took time to dig them all out in order for me to heal.\u00a0 I learned one very important fact about myself: that no one, including Dr. Baer,\u00a0could influence me or\u00a0lead me to believe\u00a0something that wasn’t in my own memory in the first place. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

My abuse was real.\u00a0 My memories are not false.\u00a0\u00a0I wish they were.\u00a0 I blocked them off from destroying me by creating alters to take away my pain.\u00a0 Nevertheless, there are doctors and other professionals who don’t believe\u00a0this is possible. That is why Dr. Baer and I decided to share our story.\u00a0 I believe that for me, and for most in therapy, the most important part of healing is bonding and building trust with one therapist.\u00a0 I thank God that the path that Dr. Baer, my alters, and I\u00a0pursued was the reason we accomplished all that we have.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I am not a professional therapist and can’t give you advice, but\u00a0I can share that\u00a0in\u00a0my opinion,\u00a0I would stop reading too much about this illness, seek help on a one to one basis with\u00a0a therapist that you can build trust with, and\u00a0let go of worrying about what everyone else thinks. \u00a0Your journey\u00a0may be difficult, but it\u00a0will be\u00a0possible with the right help and the\u00a0faith that you can\u00a0survive.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Karen<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

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Comment by Stampede on November 6, 2008 12:30 pm I have written before and I shared with you that I have DID as well and was diagnosed 6 almost 7 years ago. Your story is a true inspiration to those of us who think integration is impossible. After reading your book I looked at reviews […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-428","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-karens-answers"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/428","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=428"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/428\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=428"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=428"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=428"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}