{"id":707,"date":"2009-02-17T04:17:28","date_gmt":"2009-02-17T04:17:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/switchingtime.wordpress.com\/?p=707"},"modified":"2009-02-17T04:17:28","modified_gmt":"2009-02-17T04:17:28","slug":"karen-answers-adam","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/?p=707","title":{"rendered":"Karen answers Adam"},"content":{"rendered":"

Comment by Adam on February 17, 2009 12:53 am<\/a><\/p>\n

WTF is this guy talking about? Peanut butter analogy? Is he trying to impress you both with sarcasm? Nevermind.<\/p>\n

I admire every attempt you made to share the reality of life from a multiple\u02bcs perspective. I know someone who is diagnosed with D.I.D. and she is more like you. I read Switching Time to learn more of how to be a friend to her, not in a sexual way, for I am gay. I love her as a sister and want to be there for her. She is really nice and a great friend. May I ask how does someone like me befriend a multiple without becoming stressed with the overwhelming trauma that can come from the illness. She doesn\u02bct show anger but we don\u02bct know each other very well yet. I want to be prepared. What are some warning signs to watch out for? What should I do? Ignore her and not be her friend or chance a great friendship?<\/p>\n

Love,<\/p>\n

Adam<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Dear Adam,<\/p>\n

I am really glad you chose to ask me these questions. \u00a0There is so much misunderstanding in befriending someone who is a multiple. \u00a0People judge, and this saddens me. \u00a0I’ve experienced great sorrow with a few friendships that have failed due to misconstrued expectations. There will always be a few people who can’t accept the truth about multiplicity and read into every little thing incorrectly.<\/p>\n

Multiples make great friends if treated with respect. \u00a0In my relationships, when I’d feel respected, I’d stay calm and no alters would surface. There would be no need for a “switch.” \u00a0What is a must to understand is that a multiple won’t need to “switch” unless threatened or provoked. \u00a0If you choose to become a true friend, pay attention to the relationship without smothering her. \u00a0Multiples need space and are often taken wrong.<\/p>\n

In my experience, it’s best not to ask a million questions about a multiple’s past unless they themself open this discussion. \u00a0At the same time, don’t ever ignore them. \u00a0I believe most multiples have issues with time. \u00a0I have a hard time feeling connected unless I hear from everyone I know, a minute now and then will do. \u00a0The longer the time not speaking, the harder to maintain the relationship. \u00a0Never lie to a multiple; a multiple is attuned to everything you say and can tell and although they may never share that they know you lied, they’ll always know. \u00a0<\/p>\n

I am not a therapist and my advice comes from my personal experience. \u00a0In my opinion, a multiple can’t bear any more pain than what she carries within herself already. \u00a0Do not intentionally hurt a multiple. \u00a0That is like stabbing her in the heart. \u00a0It’s very difficult for a multiple to make friends, but once they do, they can become friends for life. \u00a0Unless you plan on a lifetime freindship, don’t bother to start. \u00a0Remember, the multiple has suffered horrifically and can’t deal with being hurt again.<\/p>\n

If you choose to be in your friend’s life, enjoy her. \u00a0Multiples really are nice people, and don’t forget to keep in touch with her!\u00a0<\/p>\n

Thank you for your questions.<\/p>\n

Karen<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Comment by Adam on February 17, 2009 12:53 am WTF is this guy talking about? Peanut butter analogy? Is he trying to impress you both with sarcasm? Nevermind. I admire every attempt you made to share the reality of life from a multiple\u02bcs perspective. I know someone who is diagnosed with D.I.D. and she is […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-707","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-karens-answers"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/707","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=707"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/707\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=707"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=707"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.switchingtime.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=707"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}