Comment by Melinda on 30 Aug 2009 at 9:49 am

Hi Karen,

Thank you for being here and answering our questions. I find it most helpful to know there are kind people such as yourself helping sick people. I am depressed from being abused. I know the effort it takes to hope. I am inspired to move forward because of you.

Melinda, New Jersey

Dear Melinda,

You are very welcome! I have been fortunate to be able to answer questions here on my blog.  To do so is a gift for me.  Surviving my illness was an accomplishment, but I couldn’t do it alone.  I was very grateful to have supportive friends, and of course, Dr. Baer to help me through my difficult journey.  My answering questions helps me return that help ten fold.  I feel privileged to help and will continue to do my best to help those who have suffered.

I’m sorry that you feel depressed.  I understand. And yes, it takes great effort to go forward in hope for a better future.  But you can do it!  Please give yourself time to heal.  Have faith and your healing will follow.  Wishing you all my best as you continue your journey.

Believing that I inspire you to move forward is the greatest of compliments!  I truly appreciate hearing your kind thoughts!

Karen

Comment by Jeanette 29 Aug 2009 at 9:58 am

It’s just so frustrating to see the revolving door of the penal system spinning so freely with all these dangerous criminals (of all sorts) being turned loose – with apparently no common sense whatsoever going into the decision making process. It doesn’t seem to make any difference to them that the public wants better protection, the decision makers seem to live in a world apart from us without any sense of our reality or much concern for the next victims that are promised.

I appreciate that you are putting yourself out there to try to do something. I will pray your story makes its way to the right hearts and minds in this whole surreal process. Stay strong Karen, you are making a difference and will continue to do so!

Jeanette

Dear Jeanette,

Thank you, once again, for your continued sharing.  I understand the anger you feel over this issue.  I feel the same.  All we can to is continue to share, and hope our stories make their way into the right hearts and minds, as you say. We share the same hope.

I appreciate your concern that I stay strong. I always do the best I can. It is my continued hope to make a difference through sharing my story.

Karen

Comment by Nikkee on 28 Aug 2009 at 6:28 pm

Karen I loved your response to F. He really must be ignorant and desperate for attention to lash out that way. Let’s hope that he does not have any children or animals. Your response was very classy. You go girl!

Dear Nikkee,

Thank you!  I hope he doesn’t have any children or animals of his own, too!  I also pray that no child ever crosses his path.  The question sent in by F triggered my response that left me feeling temporarily ill.  I know there are people out there like him; I just didn’t realize they would contact me to say something so ignorant. I believe he was searching for attention.  What a way to do it by upsetting someone who had been abused.

Karen

Comment by Jeanette on 28 Aug 2009 at 3:11 pm

Subject: Kudos!

Karen, kudos for your response to sicko cockroach F. Why are these people let out to live among us? I was just reading the terrible tragedy of the girl abducted 18 years ago and made to live with such horror all these years. Her abductor/rapist was a habitual sex offender with rape and abduction convictions already under his belt. How is it that he was still roaming around free to do this horrible thing? It makes my blood boil. People need to answer for these injustices. How do we make that happen? I mean I’m BOILING MAD.

“Every law maker and parole board should be made to read the indepth account of what happens to the victims of these monsters, the years of suffering and the intense pain of working toward recovery and healing. Your book or one similar should be required reading before they can be permitted to make the kinds of decisions that put us all in danger. I’m boiling mad. It’s not right.”

Jeanette

Dear Jeanette,

Sicko cockroach F?  I like that!  He’s definitely sick.  I understand why you wonder that these sick people are let back out on the streets.  I wish I could answer that.  The judicial system can’t look into the hearts of men like that.  I don’t really know his story.  All I know is what he wrote to me–out of ignorance, no doubt.

I read the story of Jaycee who was abducted and held for over eighteen years.  I know it may seem impossible for most to understand why she couldn’t get away, but I understand how it happens.  In my case I dissociated into alternate selves that never caused trouble and stayed compliant.  My pain was always deferred or temporarily displaced until later in my life.  Although I knew I was different, I always felt paralyzed.

When a child like Jaycee, like me, is being abused, the child has no idea what’s happening.  Jaycee’s abuser may have fed her many stories to keep her put.  My abusers did the same. Jaycee’s abuser took her away from her home.  My abusers lived within my home.  Different, yet the same paralyzed feeling of being alone and needing to comply in order to survive.  After awhile, my abuse became so routine that I no longer felt alive, just numb.

I agree, all lawmakers need to be more knowledgeable about what really happens to victims of abuse, and especially to learn how to spot the signs that are so very apparent if you know what to look for.  Proper training, listening, and reading from those who have suffered should be a mandatory part of law enforcement training.

I’m mad, too!  I hope to help make a difference and bring awareness to all.  There are no excuses for allowing abusers to abuse again.

Thank you for caring!

Karen

Comment by Kenneth on 28 Aug 2009 at 6:42 am

Karen!

I am in AWE, yes AWE of you! I mean, OMG your recent answers here on the blog are amazing! Such wisdom and strength after all your suffering. Great answer to convict F. Thank you for the challenging reading on multiple personality disorder. I swear all doctors should read not only Switching Time by Richard Baer but Karen’s blog, too! Between you and the Richard you are an unbeatable team! Congrats! I bet Richard Baer is beaming with delight! Karen, What a compliment you are to him! Richard, What an amazing job you have done with Karen!

Kenneth

Seattle

Dear Kenneth,

Thank you for that breath of fresh air!  Your enthusiasm means a lot to me today! I’m glad to hear you believe I have strength, wisdom, and provide challenging reading on multiplicity for all, and especially for believing that all doctors should read Switching Time and my blog. That’s a very nice compliment that I will keep close to me as we continue to bring awareness to all.

Dr. Baer and I did make a great team.  We complimented each other.

Karen

Comment by Bethany M. on 25 Aug 2009 at 7:39 pm

Karen, karen, Karen….my, my!

Thank you for providing such interesting reading this morning. Here I sit with my morning cup of java, woke a bit earlier than usual. My beautiful kids still sleeping. First full day of school today and I am more anxious then they. I noticed many people write you stories. Fantastic. So real. So down to earth. Can you believe you touch their heart? People are actually trusting your answers. I’ll be darn. I haven’t asked any because everything I needed to know seems to have already been answered.

I enjoy you and am telling you I check your web site every morning to read what else you have to say. I feel so blessed that I was never abused, and even more blessed that my four young girls 4, 5, 7, and 10 are safe in their beds. I am a watchful hawk, slightly paranoid and overprotective but hey, these days a parent needs to be. Thank you for providing an incredible insight of a child who has been abused. As a mom I will share your story for all mom’s to understand what signs to watch for. Cheers to you.

Bethany M.

Dear Bethany,

Thank you so much for all of your compliments and kind thoughts!  I’ve been quite amazed and inspired by the stories our readers send in to me.  It’s my hope to answer each one truthfully and to the best of my knowledge.  Being abused myself, I feel it’s best for me not to hide what happened.  I believe we all can learn from each other.  I’ve been able to provide insight into an ugly part of reality, an insight into those who have been abused, and of the type of people who abuse them, right under our noses.

I’m so glad to hear that you have never been abused and watch your children closely.  That’s what all parents need to do.  I don’t believe it’s being over protective.  It’s reality, and it’s necessary to be that way.  Our children are innocent and can’t see trouble coming as we can.  It’s important for all adults to pay attention and keep a watchful eye over all our children.

Thank you for sharing my story with all the mom’s you know, so that they, too, can protect their children. That’s very important to me.

Karen

Comment by FGN MD on 27 Aug 2009 at 4:43 pm

Karen,

Despite positive feedback to most posts here on your blog what else can be done to prevent children from being abused. It’s amazing with all the exposure and knowledge these days regarding child abuse, children continue to be abused. Self help books and book on abuse clutter the shelves. But really, your answers are more than a dust collection. Have you ever thought of speaking to groups with Richard Baer to spread your experience? Has Dr. Baer been asked to further his case study of you? Who would fund his work? Is he even interested in educating future doctors of his findings while treating you?

I am positive there is much more to you and how you function. I am also positive Dr. Baer holds all knowledge of you. Dr. Baer, please don’t waste your knowledge on MPD treatment now that your book is published. A book is a great accomplishment for any doctor. Forgetting what brought you to this place isn’t good. When a prestigious doctor such as yourself writes a great treatment plan, his work after writing the book has just begun. It’s not over, Richard Baer. Continuing to teach makes your accomplishment worth it. Don’t forget Karen Overhill’s contribution to the world. You are a lucky guy. Karen’s story must not be forgotten. Don’t forget!

FGN MD

Dear FGN MD,

Thank you so much for understanding something of great importance that Dr. Baer may have forgotten. You hit the nail on the head and I’m hoping he reads your letter and realizes why my story was written in the first place.  I always felt my story needed to be told to help others who have been abused.

Thank you for sharing your concern over not enough being done for victims of child abuse. It’s true that more needs to be done, and that with added awareness so much more can happen if we learn to pay attention to what signs to look for in an abused child or a depressed adult.  In sharing my story I’ve hoped to accomplish just that, to bring awareness to what can happen when a child is repeatedly abused without intervention by anyone.

I have often thought about speaking to groups with Dr. Baer.  Maybe someday Dr. Baer will make time to allow that to happen.  As far as I know, no one has asked Dr. Baer to teach or continue his studies on multiple personality disorder. Therefore I wouldn’t have any idea who would fund him if he agreed to do so.

Thank you or your interest in me.

Karen

Comment by Alexandria on 27 Aug 2009 at 12:02 am

Karen,

After reading Switching Time twice, the idea of working in the psychology field is so great, and I’m looking forward to college. I can thank you and Dr. Baer for that, because you both are amazing people. I can only imagine how much it took to successfully integrate everyone. You’re such an inspiration to a teenager who has suffered from depression. I wish you and Dr. Baer the best of luck in life.

Alex

Dear Alexandria,

Thank you from me and Dr. Baer!  We truly appreciate hearing that you are looking forward to a college career working in the field of psychology and that Switching Time inspired you. Though working to heal me was an enormous job for Dr. Baer, I believe he was given a once in a lifetime chance to make a difference to one person.  Saving someone like me was a definite challenge, but I believe he’d say we both learned a lot from treating me.

I’m surely grateful for all that Dr. Baer’s done for me.  I can now live and breathe in a way that I never thought possible.  In order to successfully integrate each of my alters, we had to build from the ground up.  I felt torn down before gaining strength.  One at a time, each of my alters developed a relationship with Dr. Baer.  Building trust was most important before revealing ones past.  Dr. Baer and I worked well together because we both were loyal and respected each other.  Most interesting is that integration only came after my alters learned to trust Dr. Baer, too!

I was very fortunate to land in the hands of Dr. Baer.  Finding the right therapist is very important.  I’m glad to hear that more students are going into the field of psychology with determination to help people like me to live.

Thank you for all you kind thoughts and best wishes.

Karen

Comment by Stella on 27 Aug 2009 at 6:40 pm

Hi Karen!

I was just reading your response to Joyce, your wise advice to not be too trusting with whom you share what you have been through. Boy does this ring true!

As a person who is really just in the beginning stages of therapy for trauma related disorders, I have been both blessed and injured by sharing with people whom I really trusted some of what I am dealing with. Some of them had been life long friends and with whom I wanted so much to find acceptance and support. This doesn’t always happen. But I am glad that I have learned this lesson early on.

I’m fairly convinced at this stage that those who will be the most supportive in my life are going to be on a similar path, maybe not with the exact same past or traumas, but on a similar path toward inner healing. This seems to be a bonding agent, this pain we share; not necessarily to wallow in it, but to empathize and understand both the triumphs experienced and the disappointments of those occasional setbacks or just plain bad days. We all need encouragement, it gives us strength to keep going, this is so important when you are dealing with extremely painful memories.

I so much appreciate your honesty about your struggles, both past and present. I look forward to keeping up with what you have to share here with those who are drawn to you.

Blessings!

Stella

Dear Stella,

Thank you!  Your kindness and acceptance of me and my work inspires me to continue on.  It’s so vital for all of us to receive encouragement.  I’ m just like anyone who has been hurt from past abuse.  It’s not my desire to mask my feelings but to share a hope for a better tomorrow.  Unfortunately, there are always people who break trust, disrespect, or think of us in a bad way.  I believe these people have no understanding about the true depth of pain an abused person suffers.

My goal is to share the good and the bad of being a multiple, the journey through healing, and the after integration ups and downs that come from being one woman trying to deal with everyday reality.

I know very well that those of us who have shared similar stories can bond in a way that most find hard to understand.  It’s all in the nature of who we are and how we survived despite all that happened to us.  Surviving a complex, incomprehensible illness such as multiple personality disorder needs to be understood by all.  That is my goal.  To share a better understanding of the suffering that causes a multiple’s mind to fragment and create alternate personalities.

Thank you for understanding, supporting my efforts, and for all your kind thoughts.

Karen

Comment by Melissa on 27 Aug 2009 at 6:37 pm

Dear Karen,

I just finished the book that Richard Baer wrote. I am so glad that you went to him and this was the result. A veil has been lifted because now I have hope!  I am sure you get this a lot. I suddenly feel like a steam engine able to run full speed ahead.  It is a feeling of life I have always admired in others and now may get to truly experience. Thank you and your alters for keeping you alive, for giving people hope, and being there-just there.

Dear Melissa,

Thank you for all your kind thoughts!

I understand what you mean by feeling like a steam engine able to run full speed ahead; I’ve had that happen to me, too!  It’s a good feeling to finally receive hope that someday all will be okay…

Wishing you all my best!

Karen