Comment by Mary Beth T on February 15, 2009 4:01 pm

Dear Karen,

How are things going in the book world? Why hasnʼt Oprah called you? What is wrong with her? I admired Oprah once but no more. It appears that many of her shows have to do with what she wants rather than what the people in the world want. Like this Edgar Sawtelle book. I read it because it was on her show. Did not rate it high. I guess if Oprah said itʼs great everyone believes her. Now your book is meaningful and true. I feel sad that you lost your chance at the book succeeding. I will continue to be a fan of yours and Richard Baer. Just because Oprah doesnʼt care doesnʼt mean your book failed. No one needs Oprah to sell a book. Our book club use to read every book she recommended, we stopped at Edgar Sawtelle. I donʼt think Oprah reads the books she promotes in full. If she did Iʼd be shocked. It would to great if she told your story so that people would learn from it. The new show United States of Tara makes your book look bad. How can fiction over interest nonfiction? I swear if Oprah puts the cast of Tara on her show without you that would be a disgrace to the medical world. Chin Up!

Mary Beth T

Dear Mary Beth,

It’s funny how some books get a big boost from Oprah, and others soldier on, gaining momentum slowly through word of mouth from readers that are touched and moved and spread the word.  I truly appreciate your concern, but we’ve have had some great publicity during the past year and our book is holding it’s own. Switching Time is growing in sales and we hope to be around a long time.  Of course, Oprah would help!

I can’t say why Oprah hasn’t featured us.  They know about Switching Time.  There could be many reasons why our story hasn’t yet been chosen.  I have faith that if it were meant to be, it will still happen.  I’ve always respected Oprah’s decisions and choices.

Dr. Baer and I have worked very hard for so many years to heal me from the true illness of multiple personality disorder.  Together, Dr. Baer and I have already succeeded!

Thank you for believing in our true story.  I feel that if Oprah should choose to air the cast from “The United States of Tara” as representing the true illness of multiplicity, that would be a shame.  The USoT is not an accurate depiction of this illness.

Thank you for your heartfelt concern and questions.

Karen

Comment by Justin on February 15, 2009 3:24 pm

Hi Karen,

What happened to the new web site?

Justin

Dear Justin,

Dr. Baer and I are currently in the process of up dating out web site.  We truly appreciate your interest in hearing more.  Please come back and visit us in a few weeks!  Thank you!

Have a great day!

Karen

Comment by Valerie A. on February 13, 2009 8:36 pm

Dear Karen,

How is it possible to view the interviews online? I tried to access Good Morning America and couldnʼt.? I know itʼs been done before. Is it possible on this site? I hit the link nothing but the written interview came up. I bought the Kindle version of Switching Time.  I loved the the closeness between you and your therapist. I know therapy wasnʼt like a romance in a real sense but I most certainly felt the love between the both of you. I cried when Claire integrated. Tell me, how do feel about each other nowadays?

I am in awe! Isnʼt love great! I even love you.

Valerie, Cali Girl

Dear Valerie,

I know it’s been difficult to access the video of some of the interviews Dr. Baer and I have done, however, we are currently in the process of trying to transfer all that we’ve done into an updated Web site. Please check us out again in a few weeks. Thank you!

I am glad Switching Time was a positive emotional experience for you and that it has touched you. Dr. Baer and I continue to care for each other and enjoy a close and respectful relationship.

Thank you for your questions.

Karen

Comment by Margaret Nell on February 10, 2009 3:36 pm

Hi Karen,

Very interesting what you wrote to Paul. In addition to his question I would like to know if your relationship with your husband and children was as open as Taraʼs character in USOT? Did your children have a relationship with each alter by name and personality? Last question? Did your children turn out gay, dysfunctional, in any way bad because of your illness?

Margaret Nell

Dear Margaret Nell,

I am glad you found my answer to Paul interesting, however, once again, I must say my story is unlike the show USoT. The character Tara is portrayed by an actress, Toni Collete, who has not suffered from the real illness of Multiple Personality Disorder as I have. I believe Toni Collete is doing a great job acting as a multiple mom and gives a convincing performance, it’s just not an accurate depiction of my experience, or the actual illness. 

My relationship with my husband and children differed from that of Tara’s.  My husband was not as supportive, and was frustrated more often than not.  Our marriage was a rough ride that only added to my alter chaos.  My husband had been abusive and the alters switched out of fear.  I never shared the alters names with my husband, there was no reason to. He would know when I wasn’t “me” but that’s about it.  Most of the time I’d try to stay away from him.

My children never acted as Kate and Marshall, Tara’s children in the show, do.  My children never referred to each alter by their individual name.  My alters protected my children and kept them involved in many activities that included me as the Mom.  As a matter of fact, my children never took drugs, smoked anything including cigarettes, nor drank alcohol.  I am not saying they’re perfect, because none of us are, but I’m proud of my children for never getting into trouble. That’s what we all hope for our children.

Thank you for your questions.

Karen

Comment by Paul on February 9, 2009 6:14 pm

Karen.

In the show USofT there isnʼt any way a DID patient would act in such a dramatic sexual manner. Agree? I am married to a DID patient and let me tell you, itʼs bullshit. Not one of my wife alters would act in the way Taraʼs alters do. My wife was sexually abused and no way was she like Tara. My wife never even walked around the house in her underwear. My wife felt ashamed of her body. Her alters were very skittish too. Where do you think this story line came from? What are alters supposed to do? and how are alters supposed to act? What about medication, do you agree there is a need for medication?

Paul

Dear Paul,

I have many thoughts about your questions. I realize USoT is a TV show, and not an accurate depiction of what I’ve experienced as a multiple myself, yet I am continually puzzled as to where the writers and producers received their story line from?  The common thread with alters is for them to work together to keep one functioning as normal as possible. I don’t see this in this show. There is also an exaggeration regarding all the “sex” talk. Since multiplicity comes from extreme child abuse, most alters have little to no interest in sex. If “Tara” was abused, as I assume she was if she were real, then her interest in sex would be less, not more. Multiplicity is a poor excuse for promiscuity. Maybe there’s more to it? I can only give my opinion from my own personal experience.

Second, in my opinion, true multiples can’t be successfully medicated. It was a wise plot choice to say that “Tara” is off her meds, and that is the reason for her alters to appear more.  I believe, in my case, medication disabled me, and once off meds, I started the true healing process.  Avoiding meds was best for me and my alters, but may not be best for someone who truly does need to be medicated for another reason.  I was stubborn.  I stopped my medication and didn’t share this with Dr. Baer.  I believe my healing started after the medication in my system wore off. 

Thank you for your thoughts and sharing a bit about your wife. I can understand your frustration with the show. Please know that “The United States of Tara” is not a show about my journey through healing with the real illness of multiplicity. Dr. Baer had worked very hard treating me.  There is no room for comparison. I am real. Tara is an actress in a TV show.

It’s true no two cases of multiple personality disorder/dissociative identity disorder are the same. I think the USoT is a show that is meant to entertain and bring forth much interest and future discussion. The show has also brought some people to read Switching Time in search of the truth about the illness.

Karen

Comment by Jillian on February 9, 2009 3:18 am

Karen,

What type of things trigger you?  In the show USOTARA I didnʼt notice anything major when her alters change. In your book you said there were triggers. Do the same triggers have the same affect now? Can you name a few triggers?

Jillian

Dear Jillian,

There are all kind of things that can trigger an emotional response for me.  However, when something does trigger me, the emotional reaction usually leaves quickly. I am not affected in the same way I once had been; I’ve learned to handle most my triggers.  Most of the time now, although I have a quick response to triggers,  the anxious feeling subsides almost as fast as it appears.

Realistically, there are some triggers that can cause me grief at times. I try my best to stay on the side of reality. I know that triggers come from my past and don’t belong in my present life.

What can be trigger for me?  To name a few: if I should witness someone being degraded or treated in an inappropriate way, that can be a trigger; when I feel threatened or the subject of disrespect, unpleasant feelings can trigger a response in me, being stressed can cause a trigger, and someone screaming loudly can trigger an affect in me.  

There is no way to predict a trigger ahead of time, so when it happens, I just try my best to deal with it.

Thank you for your questions.

Karen

Comment by Drew Marie on February 9, 2009 3:22 am

Dear Karen,

Just need to know what happens to you when you are confronted with a problem now that you donʼt have others?  If someone hurts you who helps you?

Drew Marie

Dear Drew Marie,

When I am confronted with a problem, I try my best to take care of it myself.  If I can’t, I seek help elsewhere; sometimes I talk to Dr. Baer.  He’s still someone I can bounce things off of.

I am just like everyone else, and when someone hurts my feelings, I turn to my friends for support.

Thank you for your questions,

Karen

Comment by Baby on February 9, 2009 4:10 am

Hi Karen,

A lot of answers here! I had questions and all were answered!

Well, I still wanted to wish you and Richard the best in life.

Thank you for contributing this case study to science.

Your book was well written! Well received.

You made an amazing team, author and co-author.

What an life worthy experience.

Baby, my nickname

Dear Baby,

Thank you very much for your kind words and compliments!  Dr. Baer and I appreciate each and every one of them. And, yes, I agree, Dr. Baer and I made a great team; and our journey together is a life worthy experience.

Karen

Comment by Derrick on February 4, 2009 1:21 am

Karen

Question: Who drove the car when the others were out? What would happen when an uninsured alter drove without a license to drive? When your alter Holdon drove you all around where did he learn to drive? I am trying to understand how the knowledge of something like driving a car transfers to the entire bunch? Can you or Baer explain? Did you ever get a ticket and blame an alter? Which alter is insured? I know my questions seem foolish. Iʼm just trying to figure out the driver part of you. Crazy illness but a fascinating mind boggling way to live. Great book.

Thank you very much.

Derrick from Detroit

Dear Derrick,

Very interesting questions!  I’ll try to answer your questions in the clearest possible way.  Karen 3 drove the car most of the time, and if not her, my alter Holdon was the only other alter chosen to drive.  “Karen” is the only one insured, because whether one has alters or not, only the original physical person can acquire a license. 

I’m not sure where Holdon learned to drive, most likely the same way we all learn, by participating in my drivers education classes.  I can share a story about the day I received my license.  I had been wanting to go shopping for a dress for an upcoming wedding.  My husband never had time to take me.  I didn’t have a license to drive a car at the time.  Over lunch with my best friend I shared my frustration.  My friend dragged me to get a permit after work that day.  I walked in and took the written test, no studying beforehand, passed it one hundred percent, asked to take the drivers test, hestitated while Holdon came out, completed it and passed, walked back in where they took my picture, and received my license.  My friend drove me home, I showed my husband my license, grabbed the keys, took the car, and drove to the mall.  Just like that!  All within two hours.

There has never been a need to blame anyone for receiving a ticket, because I’ve never received one.  Multiples are very cautious in all that they do for fear of confrontation.  Whether Holdon drove or Karen 3, driving according to the rules was a must. There was only one time when a problem occurred, and that was after the integration of one of my alters.  My system was in shock from the integration and the alter who came out didn’t know how to drive and side swiped my car against a parking garage pillar.  In that case, I called Dr. Baer and he put me under hypnosis while I was on the phone and asked Holdon to come out and drive me home.

Thank you for your challenging questions. I have to say, I’m very grateful never to have been in an accident or have received a ticket.

Karen

Comment by Sister Mary Beatrice on February 3, 2009 5:45 am

Dear Karen,

Itʼs so nice to read your answers here. I admire you for your strength and ability to share, you are truly one of Godʼs chosen. Dr. Richard Baer mustʼve done a great job helping you help yourself get to this point. Sharing. Caring. Being thoughtful and respectful to all including the naysayers who do not deserve your attention or response. I have to ask? Are you being forced to share and answer questions or do you wish to share? I donʼt mean any disrespect towards your agents or Dr. Baer; I am just concerned about you. I am thrilled that you are able to help without shame. God bless you!

Sister Mary Beatrice

West Virginia

Dear Sister Mary Beatrice,

Thank you so much for all your kind thoughts and compliments!  I truly appreciate hearing them, for kind words give me strength to continue on.

Please know that I am not being forced into answering these questions, nor being forced to share my story.  I chose to do this in hope to help others with their own personal journey.  I believe my illness, and help I received for it, was God sent. I believe it is important to share in the best way I can the knowledge of the illness I once suffered, in hope others can see how one person survived.  For me, answering questions and sharing my story provides me with purpose.  I believe there is a reason for everything.  My survival was meant to be shared.

Thank you for expressing your concern, I appreciate your thoughtfulness. God bless you, too!

Karen