Comment by Sam on October 19, 2008 12:36 am

I read that you were a multiple mom. Did you hear about the show coming out about you. At least it should be your story. Who stole your story to do this? Are you suing?  Sam

Dear Sam,

Yes, I was a multiple mom, and always did my best to be a great mom.  I have many stories to share about being a multiple mom!  I have heard about a show coming out this Fall about a mom who suffers from multiple personality disorder, but haven’t seen the show or any reviews of it.  If there is a show, it isn’t about me.  Dr. Baer and I haven’t agreed to any show, at least not yet.  The show you may have heard about may be fictional and is not related to, or stolen from, our story, Switching Time. Therefore, no need to sue anyone.

Thank you for your compliment.  Dr. Baer and I would love to help with a project like this.

Karen

Comment by Richard N on October 19, 2008 12:31 am

Karen,

Absolutely fascinating book! After reading it I sat back and wondered where your mind took you for comfort when you were a child? What brought you enjoyment? What made you smile? What kept your mind from frying? What did you wish for back in those days? What could have caused you to end your life when you were young? What do you wish for these days? What would cause you to end your life these days?

You are a true miracle, stay well, keep talking, stay safe, keep well.

Richard

Dear Richard N,

Thank you for your compliment! And thank you for sitting back, after reading Switching Time, and taking a moment to wonder more about the child I was and how I made it into adulthood.  I know there are many guestions of why and how and what and where.

I haven’t thought much about these things.  Sometimes I would dream and fantasize that someone loved me and treated me nicely and took me traveling with them around the world. I gained moments of happiness watching some television shows such as Lawrence Welk, Lassie, Father Knows Best, My Three Sons, and many others that represented families that loved and cared for each other.

As a child, I believed I was meant to die; however, my alters prevented this from happening.  This actually frustrated me.  These days I wish for someone to really love me as I love them.

Thank you for believing in a true miracle.  This means a lot to me.  I will continue to try my best to keep sharing, stay safe, and be well.

Karen

Comment by Jack Raymond on October 18, 2008 2:21 am

Hello Karen,

Never before would a book make me question myself on what I would say were false memories caused by trauma and played out to be dissociative. I never before believed in this claimed illness. I would guess you needed extreme attention from someone and chose the doc who was gullible and needed someone like you to make him feel great about himself. A bit twisted but that’s what I thought when during a psych class assignment we were suggested to read Switching Time. I read the book and changed my mind completely. I will never again prejudge an illness or anyone claiming to have an illness until I know the facts. I for one believe in this illness, and the therapy that gave you life. On another note thank you for not boring us like the book Sybil. I read the book Sybil and found it hard to get into, poorly written and unbelievable. Switching Time should rise above Sybil. I hate reading, got into your book.

Jack Raymond

Dear Jack Raymond,

Why would anyone wish to spend eighteen years in therapy just to seek attention?  I could think of million more fun things to do with my time, energy, and money than to spend an hour or more per week pouring out unflattering stories of past childhood abuse. And I surely can’t conceive Dr. Baer needed my case to make himself feel great about himself.  My therapeutic relationship with Dr. Baer worked well because he already exuded confidence and I was attuned to this.

I am glad your college professor chose our book, Switching Time, to read as an assignment, and not just for you, but for all those who disbelieve.  I’m glad reading my story changed your opinion and hopefully any of your classmates that had the same preconceptions as you.  I am happy to hear you will no longer judge others for their disabilities before knowing all the details. We all have our strengths and faults and need to come to respect each other for who we are.  I didn’t choose to be abused or become a multiple.  It happened.  And I dealt with it in the best way I could.  I sought help, received it, and healed. With Dr. Baer’s help we accomplished the unbelievable task of integrating my alters so that I could live as one woman.

Thank you for believing in me, and for believing in the therapy that gave me life.  I haven’t read the book, Sybil in its entirety and can’t comment on whether this book was poorly written or unbelievable.  However, I do appreciate your sharing your thoughts and critique.

Karen

Comment by laura on October 18, 2008 7:15 am

Dear Karen and Dr. Baer,

Thank you for givng a rational voice to the horror of child molestation, abuse and incest. I am struggling with dissociative issues, have for a long time but find most of what is written about DID and dissociative experiences to be so bizarre I cannot embrace it I have been diagnosed with MPD, then DID after it was renamed, but it doesn’t matter what it’s called it is helll. I am a mental health paraprofessional so am more aware than many of the vast possibilities and capabilities of the human mind and the depth of courage it must have taken for you to seek therapy. I feel a kinship with you but am also humbled by your experiences. I do not know if others truly populate my head, sometimes I think there are others but most of the time it feels like a game, and i can stop at any time. My therapist and I both have doubts about the DID diagnosis, due mostly to the sensationalism that the media has painted. it was as you surely know the diagnosis of the week and some of the behaviors i saw and books I read did nothing to dispel my disbelief. this book along with Dr. Ross’s book have offered me some solace – I am not just trying to jump on the popular wagon so I can feel if only for a moment that I belong and am human.

I am very deeply touched by your struggles, courage and compassion in writing this book and think maybe there is hope for me as well.  I have always believed suicide would be waiting for me at the end of my days, this gives me the idea that maybe, just maybe, that can change. Thank you.

Dear Laura,

Thank you sharing your personal struggle.  I can empathize with you.  During my therapeutic years with Dr. Baer I chose not to read anything on MPD, now DID.  I tried to read the book, Sybil, once, and also tried to watch the movie portraying her life, but I couldn’t.  It was definitely too bizarre for me.  As time went on, after integration was complete, Dr. Baer and I watched the movie Three Faces of Eve together.  I felt I could identify a little more with that story.

Having multiplicity was no laughing matter.  My life was built on shame and hiding all that happened to me.  I was living a lie switching all throughout the day, until I was able to acknowledge what was happening to me, in the safety of Dr. Baer’s office.  I believe a diagnosis of MPD/DID, as in my case, is rare.  I’m glad that Dr. Baer never appeared frightened or excited by what I told him; he always treated me with the utmost respect and never once gave up on me.  I believe I survived because Dr. Baer unconditionally cared for me in a very structured therapeutic setting.  We worked well together. And I was fortunate to find him.

My therapy took a long time–eighteen years!  In the beginning it seemed that I’d never get better.  I felt suicidal most of the time.  Although I continue to have a bad day once in awhile, these days are far from where I once was.  After suffering so long, I’m amazed at how far I’ve come.  It is a life long process to heal from the horrors of childhood abuse.  I believe having alters spared me from the immediate pain I suffered at the hands of my abusers.  But MPD is not a perfect system, it’s complex and takes years to develop and then to unravel and heal from.  Multiplicity worked well for me as a child, but not as an adult.  To me to live, there was finally no option than to integrate and become one whole person.

I can understand the doubt you and your therapist are having regarding this diagnosis.  I had doubts, too!  However, after trying to rationalize every other possibility for what was happening to me, I couldn’t deny it anymore.  My story is true.  Sure, this illness may have been sensationalized in the media, but I never really heard of it before being diagnosed with it. This was one of the reasons Dr. Baer and I believed our story should be shared.  It is our hope that we can help mental health professionals, medical students and also all those who suffer, to understand MPD/DID. A rare opportunity exists through our experiences.

I also feel a kinship with you. Please don’t give up. If you are dealing with this illness, please continue your journey to wellness.  

Have faith and hope will soon follow, I wish you peace.

Karen

Comment by Sheila on October 17, 2008 3:47 pm

Hi Karen,

How can the writer of your story take credit when he copied everything from your journals?

Sheila

Dear Sheila,

Thank you for your question. Did you actually read our entire book, Switching Time?  This book was an accumulation of the first nine years of an intense therapeutic relationship. The contents of our book came from Dr. Baer’s notes of our conversations, my writings, and our work together.  Those parts of the book that are quotes from my journals are indicated as such in the text.  Dr. Baer had known the alters in a way that I wasn’t able to, until after integration, when each alter helped me to become one.  Dr. Baer is responsible for gathering each of my alter’s individual stories.  I could not have written these experiences on my own.  My alters and I did journal all the time, but it was Dr. Baer who knew our story best.

Karen

Comment by Psychologist Ben on October 17, 2008 12:23 am

Dearest Karen,

Oh good gracious God! I just read child molester’s comment.  Where did this guy come from.  Don’t answer his questions Karen.  He’s a pervert.  I have read your book.  I am grateful to have had pleasant childhood experiences to share and pass down to my children.  I am sorry you weren’t able to form pleasing memories because of what happened to you at the hands of perverts like the child molester who wrote to you on your page.  How you must have felt reading this? Are you talking this over with Dr. Baer?

Psychologist Ben

Dear Ben,

Thank you for being concerned about my well being.  I know there will be questions that will hit a nerve and trigger bad feelings in me.  Dr. Baer and I discuss these posts.  I can’t stop people from asking questions that may be objectionable.  I’ll try to answer each one in the best way I can.  When there is a question that is inappropriate, such as this one, I’ll talk it over with Dr. Baer.

Although my memories of abuse were not pleasant, I was able to treasure some memories of meaningful times.  When sharing stories with my children, I always focused on the good times.  I told them stories of pleasant experiences, from family related television shows, from what I’d witnessed from being around good families, and my dreams of how life could be if I were loved.

Thank you for caring,

Karen

Comment by Male 2nd. on October 16, 2008 2:27 pm
I live near children and am listed in the district I live in. I have a terrible life since all this took place. I look but don’t touch. I was given eyes to see. The prison did not rehabilitate me, I did it myself. I admitted my faults and receive help. I do not want to be in prison again. I did not hurt another child and not to be labeled a child molestor. I agree with what your answer said. I am not disgusting. I am only a male and think like all male’s do whether they talk about it admit it or dream it. Men are men and can’t help themselves when attraction is present. I am warning parents about all men.

Dear Child Molester,

God did not give you eyes to see in order to find attraction in innocent young children! Admitting your faults and receiving help is a great service to all those who live near you and could be victimized by you if you were left on your own. I pray you are constantly under observation.

Dr Baer taught me that harmful thoughts are okay but actions are not. However, in your case I’m sure your thoughts are inappropriate and not safe. Yes, you are disgusting. All men don’t have the same thoughts as you do. There is a definite defect in the way you think that all men are unable to help themselves when sexual attraction is present.

Thank you for this warning. I hope all parents read this and understand how sick the thoughts of a child molester are, especially when the predator can’t see themselves and their own thoughts as abnormal.

Karen

Comment by A most grateful friend on October 16, 2008 11:51 am
My dear friend, “Karen”,

Knowing you has brought me peace. Peace that you needed to keep for yourself. If it weren’t for you and your caring nature I wouldn’t be where I am today. Being an inspiration to me and all of those who know you is a wonderful thing. The problem is you kept nothing for yourself. I learned from you never to give up. I learned from you to have faith. I even learned how to have a kind heart. Stop taking care of everyone. Who comes first? You do! Another lesson I learned from you. You can’t fix everyone’s heart only God can.

“Karen”, may your tormented soul find peace.

A most grateful friend

Dear Friend,

Thank you for your kind thoughts and blessings. I truly appreciate all of my friends. I know it may appear at times that I have worn myself down by doing too much for everyone else. It’s in my nature to care about others. This is who I am.

I admit, after many years of suffering the illness MPD, it is difficult for me to grasp the concept that it’s really okay to accept who I am and not feel the need to constantly serve others before myself. I try the best I can to do both, be kind and caring to everyone, and also take care of myself. I am grateful to be alive and believe that if I could just be there for those who need me, in a way that no one was there for me, then my survival is a blessing and meant to be.

I’ve learned many lessons from the mistakes I’ve made. As each day moves forward I realize all I’ve learned and accomplished since becoming one woman, after the integration of my alters. I am far from perfect and will continue to try my best until I no longer am able to.

Karen

Comment by Cynthia on October 14, 2008 5:16 pm
Karen, I was just wondering if you have any pets now? I have found that my two Yorkies are so healing for me and give me such unconditional love and joy. I also noticed my dogs know when we I need a good laugh or just some nice licks on the face when I am feeling a little sad or lonely. Blessings to you and thank you again for this wonderful site.

Cynthia

Dear Cynthia,

Thank you for sharing. No, I don’t own any pets at this time. I’ve heard that a pet can give unconditional love and joy. I am glad to hear that you have two Yorkies that provide you with this. For me, it wouldn’t be fair to own a pet if I weren’t able to be home enough to give the attention it would need and deserve.

When I feel sad and lonely, I turn on a funny show, listen to music, read, or call a friend.

Karen

Comment by Joel on October 14, 2008 9:26 pm

Karen,

Excellent Book! Richard Baer captured your story so accurately that I wish to study this disorder further. The mind work between you the patient, and he the doctor, must’ve been electrical. How you managed to stay sane is remarkably insane. Thank you for this addition to the world of psychiatry. There was so little accurate information on mpd that I assumed it didn’t exist. I assumed it was a made up, attention seeking illness. I have read this book twice for accuracy and higly recommended it to my colleagues. Thank you.

Joel

Dear Joel,

Thank you for your review! Yes, Dr. Baer captured my story accurately. We worked hard to make sure our journey was an accurately picture of everything that happened in the therapy. And for me, our therapeutic relationship was intense and magical. Staying sane and on the side of reality was at times a challenge. My inner world was, as you say, remarkably insane—chaotic and incomprehensible. It’s a miracle Dr. Baer and I accomplished all this!

Early on, Dr. Baer found there wasn’t much information on integrating alternate personalities in MPD. This was one of the reasons it was important to share our story in Switching Time.

Thank you for reading Switching Time twice and recommending it to your colleagues!

Karen