Comment by Jack on September 30, 2008 1:19 am
Karen,

In a previous answer you wrote your son was in the military. What branch and did he serve in Iraq? How did you deal with this and multiplicity at the same time? How did your daughter deal with you, her brother in the military and her father who drank?

I believe you to be absolutely the most interesting person I have read about. Thanks to Dr. Richard Baer for his fine work, especially with you being his first patient of this illness. How he managed your illness cold turkey is unimaginable. Good wishes sent to both of you.

Keeping you both in my prayers.
Sgt. Jack

Dear Sgt. Jack,

Yes, my son was in the military, serving five years, with three tours in Iraq. I am proud of him for serving our country. I appreciate your interest in the branch my son served. However, I don’t wish to share this information at this time, for privacy reasons. He may be an adult, but I am still his mother, and wish to keep certain things confidential. I’m sorry.

My illness wasn’t an issue during the time my son served. I had already integrated all of my alternate personalities beforehand, and was well on my way to being healed. My ex-husband and I were divorced before my son set off to boot camp. During this time my children’s father and I stayed in contact, for my son, while he served during the war. While my son served in the military, my daughter and I lived together without her father. My ex-husband’s drinking problem wasn’t a part of our lives during this time. Although sometimes his calls left my daughter unsettled, we worked through these times together. My daughter is well adjusted, confident, and determined to succeed. It is my hope that neither of my children ever suffer as a result of my illness or their father’s alcoholism in the future.

Thank you for all your compliments! We truly appreciate each and every one, especially you finding me an interesting person, and for Dr. Baer, who definitely has done fine work in treating me and writing our story.

Karen

Comment by Inga on September 29, 2008 7:07 pm
Hi Karen,

Loved the book. Love your spirit. Tell me, what are your thoughts on people? Do certain types of unions disturb you now that you are one woman? Where do your interests lie in relationships of the same sex, opposite sex? Do you hate men because of the men who abused you? What types of people irritate you? Annoy you?

Thank you,
Inga

Dear Inga,

Thank you for your compliments. Although I appreciate your interest in me on a personal note, certain things must be kept private. I care about all people. I don’t have any particular thoughts regarding same sex, opposite sex relationships. I believe each of us is unique, and it’s our own individuality that makes us who we are. I am attracted to the minds of the people I meet, by being attuned to their spirit. I enjoy all types of people and have never been one to judge anyone. If we were all the same, everyone would be boring. And the only types of unions that disturb me are when I witness couples disrepect or spew words of hatred and anger towards each other. I can’t handle violence.

I do not hate men because of my past abusers. But I may be more attuned to certain things and may get ill feelings with certain male personality traits that were similar to the men who once abused me. It’s like a red flag warning, and I become cautious. I’ll never pre-judge a man, however. I trust my instincts, and they are usually right. This way, I hope to never allow myself to be abused again. I am just like everyone; we all live and learn.

There are a few types of people who irritate and annoy me. I think we all have someone in our lives who trigger these emotions. For me, it’s those who disrespect, take advantage, and manipulate people. I’ve experienced this more than a few times and don’t like it. It’s always a challenge for me when I meet someone I suspect of this; caring too much for people can cause me problems. So I try my best to stay away from this type of person.

Thank you for loving our book and my spirit,

Karen

Comment by Matt B on September 29, 2008 3:38 am

Excellent book, Karen!

Out of all the books I have read in the last several years, this is the only one that gave me such an emotional response. It was like I was there with you. I did have a couple questions; however, after reading through all your answers I found exactly what I wanted to know! Thanks to your incredible writing skills and detailed answers, of course!

I was disappointed, however, to not see your name listed as an author or co-author. I see your writing skills in these posts and in my eyes there is no question you significantly contributed to this book. I’m sure Dr. Baer was great a vehicle for your healing, however, we all know you are the real star here. It was even one of your alters that guided him! Amazing! I honestly do hope to see another book by you about your life… sans the doc. I think I speak for most when I say we are interested in your life and your point of view, not so much the docs.

I have to add that it amazes me to see this many people who are so intrigued after reading the book that they not only take the time to search for more information on the net, but take the time and energy to write questions! It just proves how truly amazing you are!

Matt B

Dear Matt B.

Your compliments are flattering, but I could not have possibly accomplished this on my own. Dr. Baer had been the one who had endlessly worked hard to treat me. He deserves a medal for treating me, and for having the strength needed to endure all that I’ve put him through. I certainly wouldn’t be here without his commitment to helping me. I’ve been blessed.

I appreciate your thoughts on my having my name on the book as co-author, but Dr. Baer worked very hard in putting together years of my writings, his notes, and using our memory together in telling my story, in the best way possible so that we could share it with the world. I believe Switching Time is the first book written that covers, from start to finish, the entire therapeutic years of treatment of one true multiple personality disorder case. Writing this book required amazing teamwork, trust, and respect from each of us. Neither of us could’ve written this alone because it is “our” journey, one doctor and his patient.

Thank you for all your compliments, especially that Switching Time has given you such an emotional response and that all your questions are being answered through this blog. I’m impressed that you actually read through all the questions and answers, there are so many now. It amazes me too that so many are intrigued after reading the book, and check out our website, read through the questions and answers and ask one if they want to. I am also amazed that there haven’t been many duplicate questions, which proves to me, that the readers really do read this blog.

Karen

Comment by Christina Maria on September 29, 2008 3:25 pm

Dear Karen,

Thank you for allowing Richard Baer towrite this book about you. He sounds like he really cared for you at one time. I am also a victim of child abuse and tried to forget about it without luck. I wish I could dissociate my pain like you did. In this book you and your doctor show great strength. It would be great to see a serial show like this. There is a lot of information in this book and probably not written in this book that canmake many episodes. I like to thank your doctor to.How do I write to him?

Christina Maria

Dear Christina Maria,

You’re welcome! However, not only did I allow Dr. Baer to write this book about me, we agreed together that our journey was meant to be written. Dr. Baer did care and continues to care.

I am sorry to hear you were also a victim of child abuse. I know how hard it is to forget about the pain that surrounds your daily life because of what happened long ago. I am not a therapist and can’t give advice, but I believe you may benefit from therapy. Trying to forget won’t help. Talking it through with qualified help may lessen the pain you hold within yourself. For me, this unexplainable inner pain that once threatened to destroy and end my life, left me feeling depressed and suicidal. What helped me was talking about it, writing about it, in a safe way, in private with my own therapist. Please know, that dissociating pain doesn’t help, it just prolongs the suffering, with additional annoyances such as losing time and not knowing who you really are.

Thank you for believing a series could be something of interest. Dr. Baer and I appreciate your compliments. He reads these questions and answers and has heard your thanks. You’re right; we definitely have enough written information to make a series!

Karen

Comment by Nathan on September 29, 2008 11:57 am

Hi Karen,

I am concerned as to how you can answer these questions without symptoms of regression. I am a psychologist; attending to this task can have irreversible effects on you. Who is treating you at this time? Does your new caregiver understand the complications associated with recalling your past constantly? Have you shared you are answering questions? This can’t be a good idea. Who will help you up when you fall?

Switching Time is incredible, shocking and fantastic. The conflict you lived with is inconceivable. Richard Baer appears to be a strutter. Karen, you are a true survivor, no one without alternate personalities could have survived what you did. Bravo!

Nathan
Long Island

Dear Nathan,

I appreciate your concern for my well being. I have not had any regression symptoms or issues with answering the questions posted here. I admit, some of the questions I answer can be tough, but so far, I’ve had no lasting side effects. I write the answers quickly. As a matter of fact, answering questions has brought me to a better understanding of myself. I have learned that I have retained a wealth of information and believe that in sharing, I’ve become a better woman. I believe it’s important for everyone to understand MPD that I once suffered, and to know that I am real.

No one is “treating” me at this time. I live my life the best I can. I admit this year has been an overwhelming year with the book coming out. I continue to hope for new personal growth. On bad days, Dr. Baer, listens to me, understands me, and is there for me. If I should become overwhelmed or stressed, he is there when I fall. And I am so very grateful he continues to care.

I believe answering these blog questions is a good idea; this not only helps me to help others, it helps those who suffer to believe in his or her own self; to know their healing is possible, too.

Thank you for all of your compliments,

Karen

Comment by Maximillian on September 22, 2008 4:57 pm

Hello Karen,

What’s up? I read through the first hundred fifty pages before putting this book down, finished the rest through the night and wanted to say you are a true miracle. I could definitely say God has chosen you to do his work here on earth and share your story to help bring faith in His work to all. I believe you have survived for His purpose. God Bless You! Please keep your faith. Don’t ever give up, the people in the world who have suffered abuse need to read this book and get know you. You answering questions is great! I bet you draw people to you, don’t you? I know there’s more to you that needs to be shared. Don’t ever forget who you’re working for. Look up!

Thank you and Richard Baer for writing this book!

Maximillian

Dear Maximillian,

Thank you for having faith in me and believing that God has a purpose for me. Maybe His purpose is being expressed through sharing my story and answering these questions. I believe there is a reason for everything. God willing, I will continue to survive and share my journey and experiences with those who are willing to listen. It is my hope to continue to help others understand the illness I suffered, multiple personality disorder, and the effects of childhood sexual abuse.

I’m not sure why I draw people to me, but I do! Perhaps this is because I am sensitive to my surroundings and everyone near me at all times. I believe this is a gift. I enjoy listening to others.

I have been blessed many times. And, yes, I do look up!

Karen

Comment by JR on September 27, 2008 11:33 pm

Hello Karen,

Who can really understand the life you’ve had without being exposed to childhood abuse themself? I haven’t been abused as you were but can feel your pain while reading this book. How can you possibly move forward after such an ordeal? Do you have any regrets? If you do, what are they and how to you forsee your future? The book being written can’t possibly provide comfort, or can it? Definitely a must read, powerfully intense and written with compassion. Great work!

JR

Dear JR,

Thank you for your concerns. I admit, it is difficult to move forward after a lifetime of abuse, but I try the best I can. Whenever I have a bad day and I get down, I despair that my life can’t be happy. This isn’t realistic. I know this. I know my abusers can no longer hurt me. They are dead, and I am trying my best to live.

Regrets? Yes, I do have a few. Doesn’t everyone? Life is difficult for me. I make mistakes and learn from them. The book wasn’t written to provide me with comfort; it was written to share my story to help others through their own journeys, to bring awareness to childhhod abuse victims and the adults who care for them. I wish for a sense of calm and peace, and to know that somehow my story will make a difference in saving the life of a child.

Thank you for your compliments. I agree, Switching Time is a must read, powerfully intense, and compassionately written by Dr. Baer.

Karen

Comment by Regina on September 26, 2008 8:13 pm

Hi Karen,

What do you think happened to the cult your father and grandfather formed? Where are these people now? Do you think the other children were other children or your child alters? Is it possible you survived because you were compliant? What do you think would of happened to you if you screamed? Why didn’t you scream?

Switching Time is a book that kept me wondering about all children. Definitely worth reading. I came to a realization that any child could suffer if adults don’t watch out for the signs. This book makes you alert to abuse. An important read.

Regina

Dear Regina,

My father and grandfather didn’t really form their own cult. Their immaturity couldn’t manage something as organized as a cult. What they did do was draw information about cult like acitivities and use them on me. This didn’t last all through my childhood, but was merely part of one year when they decided to experiment in these activities. The other adults involved were friends and aquaintances of my father and grandfather. Most were their employees who, while being abusers themselves, were afraid of being terminated from their jobs if they didn’t follow orders. Sad but true. I was informed about this when I was a teenager by one of the abusers himself. To my knowledge, I believe all my abusers are dead.

I believe I did survive because I was compliant. I feared that if I weren’t, my brothers would’ve been abused in front of me. That’s what I was told. This is how my abusers constantly threatened me. If I would’ve screamed, I was told I’d be killed or injured more harshly. I didn’t scream because I was a child, dissociated, and afraid.

I know there were at least a couple of boys who were also abused with me, but it’s hazy, and it’s hard for me to differentiate whether the other children were real children or my alters. Perhaps some of both?

Thank you for your compliments and for recognizing the importance of sharing my story. It is my hope all adults understand what can happen to any child. There are signs; and all adults need to be made aware of them.

Thank you your thoughts and questions,

Karen

Comment by Melody on September 26, 2008 7:16 pm

Dear Karen,

Unbelievable! I have never read something like this before. I am overwhelmed with fascination of both you and the doc. His writing kept me engrossed. I was crying as I read the epilogue. The love between the two of you really shows in between the lines. How he cared for you and you for him and what you’ve accomplished together was no mistake. It was one of those unpredictable once in a lifetime chances. God surely meant for you two to work together. I hope you both are well and hope that he never lets you out of his sight. Karen, stay strong. Doc, be proud!

Yeah, thumbs up!

Melody

Dear Melody,

Thank you so much for recognizing the true depth of Dr. Baer’s and my amazing journey in healing. The epilogue still brings tears to my eyes, too! Dr. Baer and I do deeply care for each other. We wanted to create the best way to tell our story, and he did an amazing job in capturing it! I also believe it was no mistake that we were brought together to accomplish this one great thing; it was fate, God sent, and a once in a lifetime chance to experience something extraordinary. I am blessed and hope he feels the same. We are both doing well as can be expected after an overwhelming year with the book. I will continue to keep my spirits and strength up. I am sure Dr. Baer is proud, and I, too, hope he never lets me out of his sight!

Thank you for your compliments, and for your wonderful spirit,

Karen

Comment by Sharon on September 26, 2008 2:29 pm

Hi Karen,

Can you tell me more about the hospital stay written in the prologue? How long were you in the hospital three or six weeks? While you were hospitalized what went through your mind as you lay there? How sick were you? Were you in pain? Were the nurses attentive? I would like to know more about what you believe was going on with yourself? The book was great, and your story was written in detail. I am a nurse and as I read this book I felt enough compassion to ask these questions. I would like to learn how well the staff at the hospital had taken care of you? Actually, I think I may have been one of your nurses? If you were, we had many conversations; the staff wasn’t all that great and your answer will provide me with peace. Thank you for your time.

Sharon

Dear Sharon,

Thank you for asking this question. I was a patient for six weeks, minus two days, at which time I signed myself out after becoming frustrated with the way things were going. I was in severe pain, but because I was dissociating, I couldn’t describe or show it. This caused the medical staff to disbelieve the severity of my pain. How could they respond to someone who couldn’t explain pain? How could they treat me when I didn’t share the truth about my not knowing who I was?

Once, a nurse told me my pain was normal and from the C-section surgery, but I knew there was more. Then one day, out of my awareness, I spoke firmly to a new internist assigned to my case. I heard the words come out of my mouth, but they weren’t mine. I said, “I am not a hypochondriac. I am in severe pain. My left side is paralyzed… do something, now!” It was this moment that frightened me more than anything, because I wasn’t “there”, but somehow, some part from within me, took charge. I finally was taken seriously by the staff and the tests started rolling. I can’t blame the staff for not being attentive. I couldn’t explain what I did not understand myself.

During this six week hospitalization, I tried my best to gather information from everywhere and from everyone who came into my room. I also learned through the television what was happening in the world. And when I couldn’t explain something, I would stay quiet and pretend to be asleep or say I wasn’t feeling well. To my knowledge, no one suspected anything, except for one nurse. Could this be you? This nurse knew I was pretending to be someone I wasn’t, she suspected I had lost time, and she covered for me and answered my million and one questions. I was blessed whenever she was there. She took great care of me. This nurse became my friend during my stay, and if it weren’t for her, I may not have survived. My doctors treated me well once the tests showed the lung abscess. I was very sick from aspiration pneumonia and had to have surgery to remove part of my lung.

Thank you for your questions, and if you are the nurse who treated me so well, thank you so much!

I hope my answers bring you peace.

Karen