Comment by Angelina B. on September 22, 2008 3:42 am
Karen,

Just finished reading Switching Time, and it was very interesting and powerful. I am happy to hear you are here and able to share your story. Did you realize that you alone can empathize with many different levels of abuse? You were abused as a child, and as an adult an so many different ways in between. You are inspiration to all woman! I only wish to have had your strength to survive. I am a victim, too. I still suffer twenty two years after one episode of abuse. I feel unclean and every relationship I have with my potential man of my dreams, ends in distress, because I never feel good about the sexual stuff. I mean, when a guy is in the mood, the last thing he wants to know is that you were abused as a child, right? I tried to not share this huge problem in my past but it always shows thru eventually. A guy can tell. I know this may be a personal question to ask but do you still have problems with intimate relationships?

Angelina B.
Colorado

Dear Angelina,

Thank you for your kind words! I am glad that I am here and able to share my story. I hadn’t thought of myself as having suffered from many types of abusive relationships, but I guess you’re right. My illness turned out to be a life saver and an amazing way for me to cope with many years of being abused. I’m sorry to hear that you suffered an abusive episode. As your words show, it doesn’t matter how many times it happens, once is too much, and enough to produce lasting damage. I know how hard it is to feel clean and good about oneself after being abused. You are not alone, and I know it is very sad.

I am not a counselor and can’t give you advice, but I believe therapy could help you understand the feelings of low self-esteem you have regarding the sexual stuff. Perhaps you can work this through so that it doesn’t come up and derail your relationships. You never know, seeking help may strengthen you into finding happiness in intimate relationships. But when the time comes to share this in your relationship, this issue would need to be discussed so your partner doesn’t feel as if he’s the one who hurt you or is responsible for your feelings. I believe there’s never a good time to discuss past abuse, it’s an extremely sensitive issue, but it may need to be done.

It is my hope that the man of my dreams will someday love and accept me for who I am. Intimate relationships continue to be a challenge for me, but I have faith and know it’s not only possible but something I now can long for. I have all the feelings, thoughts, and desires of a woman. I have greatly healed from my past and look forward towards my future.

I wish you happiness,
Karen

Comment by A.J. on September 18, 2008 10:35 pm
Dear Karen,

Since you integrated do you ever have a bad day? Who takes care of things now that Holdon isn’t around anymore? Do you still suffer headaches?

A.J.

Dear A.J.,

A bad day? Of course, I do! Doesn’t everyone? I am just like everyone else who has a bad day once in awhile. And when I do, I try my best to pull myself out of the slump. Since I no longer lose time to alternate selves, I’ve found dealing with everything on my own frustrating at times. There are days I wish I could still lose time. However, realistically, switching time was never a pleasurable experience. I deal with everything on my own now.

My ex-alters have all been integrated within me and are now a part of me. I no longer experience their individual selves. I know that there are days I may feel more like a Holdon, Katherine or Claire, and there are other days I may feel like one of the others. But now I am just me, Karen, one woman.

I rarely suffer from headaches these days. As a matter of fact, when I do and it lasts longer than a day, I make sure I get checked for why. In the past, my headaches were severe and were caused by the stress of switching between alternate personalities.

Thank you for your questions,

Karen

Comment by Kyle on September 18, 2008 10:31 pm
Hi Karen!

Your story has left me in awe! My question to you is: How did you manage to get Dr. Baer to treat you without additional help? Or rather, now that you are healed do you feel Dr. Baer had taken advantage of your case for his own selfish reason to publish a book? Most psychiatrists, who are really medical doctors, never deal with patients in the way Dr. Baer has treated you. Most psychiatrists as far as I know, pass the buck over to the less qualified psychologists, social workers, counselors or even to group therapy centers. Your case must of been so different for him to take you on himself. Would you agree?

Kyle

Dear Kyle,

It’s nice to hear my story has left you in awe. Regarding my therapeutic relationship with Dr. Baer, I don’t think additional help ever occurred to us, at least not to me. When I started therapy with Dr. Baer, I had no idea how therapy worked. Dr. Baer didn’t transfer his patients, as far as I know, to other therapists. He was a psychoanalyst, and preferred to talk to his patients himself. All I knew was that I needed help, and Dr. Baer provided me with it. If I had thought I would be referred out to someone else, I would’ve been frightened off and discontinue therapy altogether. I believe Dr. Baer suspected I couldn’t comprehend all that was happening to me. If he had sent me off to someone else, spent less time with me, and didn’t believe my case was complex, I would’ve been lost in the system and may have never survived.

Is Dr. Baer selfish? I don’t think so. Early on, I knew far before he did that there was something very wrong with me. It’s why I sought help. I had been losing time long before the start of our relationship. I was too ashamed in the beginning to tell him for fear of him disbelieving me. It took time to for me to build trust. I had no idea I was an unusual case; I’d never heard of MPD, and I never felt I was treated any different than other patients. He never made me feel he was taking advantage of me, and I was very sensitive to such things. We never discussed a book until well after I was integrated, after about 10 years of therapy. And although a book was written, who could’ve guaranteed it would be published? And why would Dr. Baer spend eighteen years treating me; just in hopes of publishing a book? It may be true that most psychiatrists don’t go to these lengths to treat patients, but I consider myself lucky Dr. Baer took me on.

I believe my work with Dr. Baer was a success because he took extra time, beyond his call of duty, to make sure I was properly taken care of. We worked together well. I am very grateful for all he’s done for me and believe without his help, I surely wouldn’t be here today answering your questions.

Thank you for your compliment and challenging questions,

Karen

Comment by Break The Silence on September 8, 2008 11:15 pm

Dear Karen Overhill,

Thank you for all your hard work for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention’s, Break The Silence Today Benefit. Thank you for making time to help us. You have no idea how much you have inspired the volunteers. Knowing where you came from and how wonderful and nice you are today, has us believing there is hope in this world for those who suffer from depression and suicidal thoughts. We are happy to know you are alive to tell your story. You told us it takes time to heal, to have faith. We believe it’s so. Best wishes with Switching Time’s paperback sales! We hope you continue to share your wisdom with others.

Your newfound Break The Silence friends

Dear Friends,

Thank you for all your compliments. I enjoyed helping with the benefit. The importance of raising funds to help people to recognize those who have suicidal thoughts is important to me. During the times I felt bad, I never heard anything to help me with my thoughts of ending my own life. I felt alone until I found help in therapy. I hope others can get a chance to understand why they feel suicidal. If one life can be saved, because help is near, then all the effort is worthwhile.

I have been touched by all of you. Through your stories and experiences, I have learned how families are affected by the loss of a loved one. I admire all of you and your strength despite your grief and pain. You bring awareness, not shame, to these desperate young people. You Break the Silence.

I wish all of you the best; thank you for caring.

Karen

Comment by Jonathan Meltzer on September 18, 2008 3:14 pm

Karen,

This book and your story are incredible. Thank you so much for answering questions like this. I have a follow-up question. I’m sorry if you answered it somewhere else already. You had 2 children who grew up in a very interesting household. The book doesn’t spend much time describing your children’s lives as you went through 18 years of your therapy. How did the changes that you went through in combination with an abusive father impact them? How did their lives turn out? How were you able to help them cope? Have they read the book? Thanks.

Jonathan

Dear Jonathan,

Thank you for your compliments and for asking this question. Yes, I have two children who are grown and are doing their best to live their lives. After serving in the military, my son is home now working and trying to make his own way. My daughter is working and a full time college student studying Criminal Justice. Although they each have gone through more than most, I believe they have turned out well despite my illness and their fathers’s alcholism. Neither of my children has turned to alcohol or drugs and this has made me very happy. Of course, we all have our moments, but I believe it’s the same as with all children who to strive to be independent.

During my many years of therapy, my children didn’t notice much change beside the fact that I may have been tired and suffered from many headaches. My sessions were carefully placed during their school day. They only knew of Dr. Baer by name, that he took care of me, and was helping me to feel good after being sick. With help from my alters, I was involved in all of their activities, such as being a soccer mom, baseball mom, theatre, and more. I volunteered in every area of their lives so that they each would have the best mom I could be. This also was an important part of my healing. Being involved with them kept my spirits up. Besides a bit of stubborness, they are great kids.

My daughter has read the book and has told me she’s had no ill effects from her childhood, and she supports and respects my decision to share my story. She’s amazed that I protected them from this part of my life and has told me that I was a great mom. My son hasn’t read the book yet, and I told him to wait until he’s ready. And if he never reads it, that’s okay with me. It’s not an easy book to read, especially for a son. I talked with him about my past, and he understands that I was a victim of child sexual abuse and used dissociation to heal.

Thank you for caring about my children,

Karen

Comment by Morgan Faye on September 17, 2008 4:42 pm

Dear Karen Overhill and Richard Baer,

I’ve been in therapy for twelve years now and until I read your book I thought I was the only one who needed intensive therapy from past childhood abuse. I felt ashamed to tell anyone because no one would believe that it would take so long to get over what you and me and other children had experienced while being abused. I hated having to defend myself so I didn’t tell anyone. Is this why you didn’t tell many people?

Thank you for telling your story so that people like me won’t have to feel ashamed that we take a little longer than most to heal. I felt refreshed and good enough to continue my healing because I now know it will get better someday, like you did Karen. I have my own Doctor Baer, and he’s been a great therapist, too! I gave him my copy of your book after I finished reading it. He said it was written very well. I don’t have MPD but I do dissociate. I have less episodes since I am in therapy, every year I have less. There are good therapists out there and you and I found them. I wish all people be as lucky as we are.

Thanks to you, Karen and Richard Baer, I won’t give up,

Morgan Faye
Tennessee

Dear Morgan Faye,

Thank you for sharing your experiences of therapy. I can empathize with your reluctance to share what happened to you. During my early years in therapy, the first ten or so, I didn’t share with anyone except Dr. Baer. I, too, kept my sessions and journey secret. I’m not sure whether it was shame alone that kept me from sharing. I believe there were other reasons, like I didn’t want the attention, I feared my children could be in danger, or I thought no one could possibly believe what I would tell them.

Trust is very important to me, and I couldn’t trust anyone. I needed to build a foundation of trust with Dr.Baer first before I could begin to take a chance and trust others.

I am glad to hear you’ve found your own therapist who is there for you. I know how it feels to be in therapy for a long time. It takes time and patience to heal. I’m glad you’re not giving up, and having fewer dissociative episodes each year means your therapy is working for you. I wish you well.

Also, Thank you for sharing Switching Time with your therapist. There are good therapists out there and we were each lucky to find one.

Karen

Comment by Vanessa on September 17, 2008 2:14 pm

Hi Karen!

I have a critical personality. I judge everyone. Sometimes I think I hate everyone. When I picked up Switching Time to read at the airport when my flight was delayed because of Ike, I already preconceived the worst. I thought to myself, no way! Only there was something entertaining about someone switching time to cope. I thought this book should keep me busy for awhile. I bought the book and found myself trapped in your journey. It was unbelievable for sure, but no one could possibly make up or survive what you have survived without creating alternate ways to deal with your inner pain. How horrific you suffered. Well, I am a doubting Thomas and can’t criticize your story. I think this is a first for me, my first time, ever? I believe in you and can only say, you go girl! Spread your story and remember there are people like me who judge others, who can learn a lesson from you. I sure did.

Best,
Vanessa

Dear Vanessa,

I really appreciate your letter! I’m glad your chose to write and share your thoughts and doubts about multilple personality disorder. Your email is very important to me. It helps me not only to continue sharing, but also to feel respected for sharing my story. I do know there are those who don’t believe in MPD. I’ve accepted this. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

I didn’t chose to have MPD. It happened. I was fortunate to survive years of abuse through dissociation. I myself have also doubted other’s stories on this illness. But here I am, a survivor of MPD.

I invite any who have doubts to simply ask me any questions that cause them to disbelieve. I will answer their questions here. Maybe those who have doubts could then understand why my mind needed to create such a complicated coping mechanism in order to survive.

I have been blessed and believe there is a reason for everything. This is my time to heal, share, and make a difference by bringing awareness to an unbelievable, fascinating, and mysterious illness.

Thank you for reading my story, changing your thoughts, and believing in me.

Karen

Comment by Cathy on September 15, 2008 10:35 pm

Hi Karen!

I’m still reading the book (actually listening to it as book on CD) and finding it very, very interesting! I’m at the part where Katherine is about to be integrated. I AM SO SORRY THESE THINGS HAPPENED TO YOU! I’ve been wondering through this whole book if anyone was ever punished for what they did to you. The priest, the men who worked for your father and grandfather, the policeman, some of them have to still be alive. What happened to your friend Scott, and the little girl who lived near you, the one who was whose house you were at when the bad guys through the dead bird in the air? Why weren’t your brothers abused? I also wonder if your mother read the book. You are an amazing woman to make it through all you did. Thanks for reading my letter and taking the time to reply. Cathy

Dear Cathy,

Thank you for listening to the book on CD! I listened to parts of it, too, and the voice of James sent chills down my spine. I appreciate your concern and saying that you are sorry these things happened to me. I am, too. And I pray my story will bring awareness and help others to survive.

You asked some very good questions. As far as I know, all of the men who have abused me have died I believe they were all punished in their own way. The policeman committed suicide, two died from alcoholism related illnesses, and two from cancer. I only wish I would’ve had all the knowledge as a child I have today regarding sexual abuse. I’m sure things would’ve been different. They all would’ve been imprisoned for life. I would’ve told someone, and if that someone didn’t do anything to help me, I would’ve told someone else and someone else. I never knew that what was happening to me was considered child sexual abuse until my freshman year in high school health class. At fourteen, I thought all daughters were treated the same as I was. I pray no other child suffers from the same ignorance I once had known.

I’m not sure what happened to Scott, but I think about him from time to time. It’s my hope that he has moved on with his life. The girl, his sister, died at eighteen in an accident. My brothers were physically and mentally abused, but not sexually abused as I was. They are alive and doing their best to live their lives to the fullest. I believe my brothers weren’t abused because they were healthy boys, not sick as I was, and also because I always tried my best to protect them. Regarding my mother reading the book, no, she hasn’t, at least not to my knowledge. Since my father’s and grandfather’s deaths, I see no reason to share this part of my life with her. I have healed and have tried to accept the fact that she wasn’t there for me in the way I needed her to be.

I hope you find the rest of the book as interesting, and thank you,

Karen

Comment by Sophie on September 15, 2008 4:10 pm
Dear Karen,

Much success to you and Richard Baer! Thank you for answering my previous comment. Our book club members started picking up Switching Time but the book stores were already out, a few didn’t even have them out yet. This is an injustice to the book. We have some copies ordered and should be receiving them shortly. I did buy one and want to thank whoever added the discussion questions at the back of the book. I had volunteered to write up some questions for our club and this saved me a lot of guess work. I hope this book reaches college psychology classes and groups for discussion. I will write back after our next meeting to share our discussions and ask any questions we couldn’t answer for ourselves.

Thank you,
Sophie

Dear Sophie,

I’m sorry you weren’t able to pick up all the books you needed for your book club, but I’m glad you were able to order them and will have them in a few days! I don’t believe the book stores are trying to do an injustice to our book. It’s all about distribution and shelf space, and they only order a certain number of copies at a time. They order more as the book sells.

I will accept your compliment on behalf of the person at Random House who wrote the questions at the back of the book. I’m glad to hear they are helpful to you. It’s our hope that Switching Time will be discussed by many book clubs and psychology students. I believe my story can engage great discussions. To believe, or not to believe; it’s a mysterious illness!
I look forward to hearing from you, after your club’s discussion.

Karen

Comment by J on September 15, 2008 4:57 pm
Dear K,

I chose Hershel Walkers book over yours, while looking for a good book to read on DID. I was really disappointed in Hershels book that I went back, to return it, couldn’t, and bought Switching Time anyway. I felt Herschel wasn’t a DID suffer. I wanted truth about this illness. But, your story, now this is a story to remember! I would like to tell all readers to buy Switching Time for a true story and not waste their time on other books of nonsense.

Thanks,
J

Dear J,

Thank you for buying our book and believing in our true story. Dr. Baer and I worked very hard to share this truth.

I read Herschel Walker’s book, too, and felt it was more of a football story. But who am I to judge? It’s Herschel’s story and he wrote about what he experienced during his childhood. I wrote what I had experienced in mine. I can’t say he wasn’t a multiple, but in order to be a multiple, you have to have dissociative episodes. It’s a dissociative disorder, right? I don’t think he described that kind of experience. I never met Herschel but I would be interested in sitting down with him and sharing our experiences. It’s obvious Herschel felt hurt. I developed multiplicity from horrific abuse, but I didn’t see any of that as I read Herschel’s book. But I suppose no two cases are alike. We both felt hurt and both chose to write about it in order to help others. I wish Herschel well.

All my best,

Karen