Comment by Cynthia on September 10, 2008 4:40 pm

Karen, I know all of us who have come from child abuse are true survivors and that gives me a lot of strength when I focus on that each day. I guess what I seem to struggle with the most is that no matter what kind of relationship I get myself involved in, I never feel I can fully trust anyone. The hardest part of being a survivior of child abuse is the loneliness that can be quite painful at times. I have never felt accepted or understood by anyone not even my own husband. I believe in a higher power and have felt a presence of love and peace when I went to God in prayer. I just need to hold on to that for now in order to survive all of this.

Thanks for listening,

Cynthia

Dear Cynthia,

I know how hard it is to trust. I empathize with you. It takes time to heal and to learn to trust again after being so hurt in childhood. I am glad to hear you believe in a higher power and that this helps you get through each day. Please hold onto this feeling of love and peace you’ve found in prayer and know that you are not alone. What helps me through difficult times is knowing that I still have faith, even through my darkest times. I understand that you feel lonely at times and that can be quite painful. I’ve been there, too.

Please seek help from a professional therapist who can help you see things through an objective point of view. Therapy does help.

I wish you all the best.

Karen

Comment by Lynne on September 10, 2008 5:56 pm
Dear Karen,

Congrats! Switching Time in paperback! I hope you sell a million copies. The book was by far, one of the most fascinating books I’ve ever read. Good Luck to you and your doctor! I bet this story reaches all women around the world who suffered at the hands of an abuser.

I would like to know more about you and for now, more about how you felt during the time spent before you sought help? In the book you said you pretended to be you so no one would notice any changes, how did your family members not know you were not the same and how did you explain yourself? Your mind fascinates me. I would love more detail.

Great Book! Utterly Amazing!

Lynne

Dear Lynne,

Dr. Baer and I hope to sell a million copies, too! Thank you so much for all your compliments, each compliment received inspires me to continue answering questions and lets me know that my story is reaching many women around the world.

It’s been so long since I thought about how I felt before I sought help. I knew something was horribly wrong with my memory after my daughter’s birth, yet I knew, from somewhere inside me, that I should keep quiet about it. I’m not sure how I knew; I just did. The part that came out in the hospital hadn’t been out in a long time and was very out of touch. After the birth of my daughter by cesarean section, I fought hard to recall who I was, where I was, and what had happened to me. I was afraid to share this information for fear I would be called insane and be institutionalized. I started observing everyone who visited me during my time in the hospital, and I learned quite a bit about who I was. Later, it really helped to gaze through the many photo albums I had from before my daughters birth. These albums were very detailed and provided enough info for me to be able to become the woman in the pictures, at least for the time being.

The reason why no one noticed any changes in me, is mainly because I had complications, was physically very ill, on medication, and healing from the cesarean section and two lung surgeries. Most assumed the reason for my disconnectedness was because of the pain they assumed I experienced from surgery. Little did they know that my pain was dissociated and I had to pretend the pain was real and present. Being ill and in the hospital for several weeks protected me from anyone finding out I wasn’t me. This pretending to be what others expected was how I survived my entire life.

Thank you for your questions and your interest in knowing more about how I survived.

Karen

Comment by Sophie on September 7, 2008 1:11 am

Dear Karen,

Thank you sharing your story. I am part of a book club and we will be reading Switching Time this month. We were waiting for the paperback to come out. Before we start reading I wanted to share why I recommended this book. I know you are real. I can tell. I read this book twice because I wanted to. There are many books out there that talk about the pain of child abuse.. There’s only one you. There are eighteen members to our book club so you can count on eighteen books sold. If Oprah calls you, would you go? I read you are trying to be discreet and chose not to be known. Is this true? I think you are terrific and would like to see you reach more people around the world. So many women would benefit from knowing you. Please reconsider anonymity. You will be respected, not harmed.

Much love,

Sophie

Dear Sophie,

You’re welcome! Thank you believing in me. You’re right, there’s only one me. I am real. And yes, my story is true. My story may be one of only a few that talks personally and truthfully about the effects of child abuse. Awareness is so important in preventing child abuse.

Thank you for suggesting Switching Time for your book club! I am also a book club member. I haven’t yet shared with the women in my club that I am the subject of a book. I’ve wondered about whether or not my story would be accepted. I am new to my book club group, joining just last year, and haven’t formed relationships with all of the women yet. With each of the books I’ve read, I’ve grown stronger in accepting myself. Many of the books have had horrific happenings, and I empathize with each book I read. Please let me know how your discussion goes with Switching Time. Maybe someday I’ll share my story with my own club.

Regarding my being discreet and not being known; there’s a bit of a misunderstanding about this. I originally chose to be anonymous for several reasons. I feared family and friends wouldn’t accept me if they knew my real story. But as time has passed, and more of those close to me discovered I was “Karen”, I found they didn’t reject me, but accepted and supported me. I also have grown children who I’d never wish to be the subject of their friends’ disapproval. Although my children accept my story being published, I feel a mother’s need to protect them.

As the book moves forward, and with the paperback coming out, I’ve come to accept myself as ‘Karen,” a survivor of MPD. And of course, if Oprah should call, I would go. I’ve always admired Oprah and would love to speak with her. Oprah has inspired me for many years. My ex-alters loved her; one even wrote her a letter! Like Oprah, my dream is to help women who are in distress know they are not alone. I pray Switching Time will benefit women around the world, and I pray for respect for myself. I believe sharing my story was meant to be.

Dr. Baer and I, appreciate the sales coming from your book club. If your club has questions, post them here!

Karen

Comment by Eleanor Dorothy on September 6, 2008 11:48 pm

Dear Karen,

It took me awhile to figure out how to ask you a question. The website is difficult to maneuver around. I pressed on the question button and got no where. I pressed on the answer button and got part of the answer, not the whole answer. I am not good at computers so I ask someone to help me. I like to write and read. I read at least one book a week. Being old I am good to go. I wanted to know if you ever wish you could lose time again and how does your body feel when you want to switch now with no alters?

You are in my prayers. God Bless you and keep you safe from now on. I am 70 years old and this is my first email. My grandson gave me a computer for my 70 birthday two months ago. My son gave me your book for my birthday because I always talked about Sybil and how horrible her life was. But yours was worst. Now I only talk about you. I enjoy reading your answers, it gives me something to look forward to each day. I admire you. I also admire your doctor. I hope your story becomes a movie.

The good Lord loves you,

Eleanor Dorothy

Dear Eleanor Dorothy,

How wonderful to hear you are learning to email and chose to write to me first! You have brought a smile to my face! I know it’s a bit difficult trying to understand computers. I am still learning myself. Thank you for pointing out the difficulties with our Web site and asking a question.

I enjoy reading and like to write, too! It’s nice to hear that your son bought you Switching Time as a birthday gift because he knew of your interest in Sybil’s story. I have not been able to read through Sybil. I tried to read it, but the similarities in the abuse made it difficult for me. Maybe someday I will try to read it again. Like Sybil, I tried in the best way I could to survive. Child abuse, in all forms, is horrific, and to me, no two cases compare. It’s a sad life to live after being abused. I believe dissociation saved me from some of the horror I experienced until I matured enough to deal with it. It is our hope to bring awareness of child abuse in order to help others to recognize any signs that a child is being hurt.

Thank you for your blessings. And for you continued interest in reading my blog.

It would be very exciting for Dr. Baer and me if our story becomes a movie some day.

Blessings to you,

Karen

Comment by Lorraina on September 6, 2008 2:30 pm

Hi Karen,

How wonderful it is to read a true story, full of hope and promise and commitment on both Dr. Baer and yourself. This book was simply amazing. I felt every moment as though I experienced it myself. I read the book quickly, and felt as though your pain was my own. No other book left me feeling this way. I recommended it to many of my friends. I only wish to have met you and hug you. Dr. Baer sounds remarkably well put together to take care of you. Tell him thank you for bringing this illness to the attention of the world. I have read other books on MPD and not one, has touched me as much as Switching Time. Congratulations to you both!

Wishing you and Richard Baer, a happy life,

Lorraina from Arkansas

Dear Lorraina,

I appreciate all that you have written. I can understand what you meant by feeling the pain I suffered as your own. This is one of the reasons Dr. Baer and I had wanted to share our story in such detail. It was important for both of us describe our journey so that the reader could feel and experience what it was like to suffer from multiple personality disorder. It wasn’t easy making the decision to share so much of myself. I surely didn’t really want for any reader to experience my pain. However, I believe it was necessary, in part, to share just enough so that this illness could be understood.

In my eyes, Dr. Baer is remarkably well put together. I am sure he appreciates all of your compliments, especially that no other book on MPD has touched you as much as Switching Time.

Thank you for your kind words, and for recommending our book to others. Dr. Baer and I really appreciate you encouraging others to read our story.

Karen

Comment by Maureen on September 5, 2008 7:24 pm

DEAR KAREN OVERHILL,
I HAVE SUFFERED FROM DEPRESSION FOR MANY YEARS AND AM NOT A MULTIPLE PERSONALITY BUT IDENTIFY WITH SO MUCH OF YOUR STORY. THE PAIN IS THE SAME. I WAS HESITANT TO READ SWITCHING TIME AT FIRST BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WOULD TRIGGER MORE DEPRESSED THOUGHTS BUT IT DID’NT. YOUR STORY AND DR BAER’S CARE MADE ME FEEL I CAN DO IT TOO. THANK YOU FOR MAKING ME SEE THROUGH YOUR EYES THE POSSIBILTY OF SURVIVAL. HOW DO YOU AND DR BAER TOLERATE EACH OTHER AFTER SO MANY YEARS OF A STRESSFULLY INTENSE RELATIONSHIP?

MAUREEN

Dear Maureen,

You’re right, the pain is the same. Pain is pain. And depression hurts… I am glad that you chose to read Switching Time. I know it is a difficult story to read, but it’s very important to finish reading it because of its positive message. I am touched by your honesty of being hestitant before reading. This means that you are taking care of yourself and thinking through what may or may not be good for you. This is a very important step to take in your own healing process. Always take care of yourself first. I sometimes have trouble doing this for myself. It’s good to know that something within my story brought you awarenesses in your own healing.

I never really thought that Dr. Baer and I just tolerate each other. Tolerate is such a strong word, which feels a bit standoffish. Dr. Baer and I care for each other. However, Dr. Baer’s unconditional care has taught me that I can allow someone to care for me and that I can, in return, allow myself to care back. I’d never experienced before what I’ve experienced with Dr. Baer. He never gave up on me, no matter how many times I stressed him. Dr. Baer and I have gone through quite an amazing journey together. We have a unique close and respectful relationship, bound by trust.

Thank you for sharing. I wish you well.

Karen

Comment by Brice on September 2, 2008 4:19 am
Dear Karen,

I am writing this still in shock? I feel dumfounded. How can you live with knowing what happened to you in your past? I read somewhere that you still hurt sometimes. I can imagine how alone you must feel. Who could possibly understand you and who could possibly trust you knowing where you came from? Do your friends fear you? Could you attack or kill them if you wanted to? What would push you to your limits now? I find it difficult to understand how nice you seem to be in your writing. Is this really you or not?

Brice

Dear Brice,

Wow! You’ve put a lot of thought into asking these questions! I’m shocked by them, but I’ll try to answer them for you. I can understand your concerns about me. It’s hard to believe something so horrific can actually happen to a child, and that child can somehow survive to live a normal life.

You ask how I could live after all that had happened to me. I live very cautiously and try to be the best person I can be. I believe that all people need to be treated kindly and with respect. I try not to dwell on all that has happened to me. Sure, there are many times a memory is triggered, but I deal with it and move on. I admit, I continue to struggle, and I often feel alone. However, I’m fortunate to have learned many ways to help myself, and when I can’t, I am even more fortunate to have Dr. Baer and my friends to help me through.

It’s not in my nature to strike back, even with all my hurt. I think my friends trust me. I’d never intentionally hurt anyone. I’d hurt myself before even thinking of hurting someone else. I admit, during therapy the urge to kill my abusers was there, but not in a realistic way. Dr. Baer always told me ” These thoughts are okay, but acting on them is not.”

And, yes, Brice, I hope I am a nice person, the same person who answers these questions. Thank you for asking questions most would dare not ask.

Karen

Comment by Dee on September 2, 2008 3:34 pm
Karen,

Great story! Thank God you survived. I value you as a woman and as a survivor. It was a very interesting book to read. I couldn’t put it down. I’m positive there is more to tell. Are there plans for a follow up book that you and Dr. Baer can write, together this time?

Thank you,
Dee

Dear Dee,

Thank you for sharing your excitment and your interest in another book. I’m sure that if enough readers are interested, Dr. Baer and I could write a sequel together; we work well together. If all goes well with Switching Time, and enough interest is generated, it could happen.

You are right, there is definitely more to tell. The next book could be filled with my fully becoming an independent woman, my many emotional ups and downs, learning to live life as one woman, with love, patience, betrayal, mistakes and accomplishments. I personally believe that after integration, life has been more fascinating than before.

Thanks for asking,
Karen

Comment by Paula Z on September 2, 2008 1:00 am

Hi Karen,

Loved your book! Dr. Baer did a great job in writing it! This book kept me on my toes, it was full of suspense and left me wanting to see what happened next. I read all your answered responses to the questions most people have. I was impressed by your answers and how well you seem to cover the questions asked of you. Most of my questions have already been answered through your answers but I have one more: How did you really feel driving to the area of your past life with Dr. Baer? Were you afraid or did you feel safe knowing that Dr. Baer was with you?

Thank you for being brave and sharing the reality of what can happen in life and why all people need to be aware of their surroundings.

Paula Z.

Dear Paula,

I appreciate all your compliments! Thank You! I’m glad to hear that many of the questions you and all of our readers have asked are being answered.

To answer your question regarding our drive to my childhood neighborhood—yes, it was frightening for me to do. However, it was something I felt I needed to do in order to put my past to rest. I was really happy that Dr. Baer accompanied me on this journey. I felt safe. With Dr. Baer driving, I was able to sit back, relax a little, and tell him where to go. If I were driving, I would’ve frozen with fear, and not have been able to continue.

All that I remembered was the same, the streets and buildings, yet, everything appeared much smaller, as if I no longer saw these sites through a horrified child’s eyes. As an adult, the buildings I was abused in, my old home, the warehouse, the church, all appeared less threatening. They were just buildings in which terrible things happened to me. But those who have abused me have died and no longer live there. The place has no more ties to me.

Dr. Baer, has been the only one I shared all the details of my past with, and I believe it was just as important for him to see all that I described during the many years of our therapeutic relationship. It was definitely a much needed ending experience for the both of us.

After this trip with Dr. Baer, I’ve never needed to go back. I’ll never forget that old neighborhood and all that happened there, but I hope the need to go back never returns.

Karen

Comment by lyndsie on August 30, 2008 4:49 pm

Hi Karen,

I have been touched by your story and truly respects how you have survived the ordeal. All the best in your future endeavors and i know faith will bring you there.

Lyndsie

Dear Lyndsie,

Thank you for your compliment and for sharing your respect for all that I’ve gone through. That’s really important to me. It’s my hope to continue, with faith, to move forward, and live the life that was meant for me to live.

All my best,

Karen