Comment by Faith on October 11, 2008 2:11 am
Hi Karen,

Thank you for sharing your life with us and your doctor. I couldn’t put the book down. It was very intense. Dr. Baer did a great job taking care of all of you. I am fortunate never to have been abused. I can’t imagine how painful your life has been. The story was so real I actually felt your pain while reading it. If you can, please describe what kind of father you had? When you were young what did you dream?

Love,
Faith

Dear Faith,

Thank you all of your compliments! Sharing my story with Dr. Baer first, and then in our book, Switching Time, has been quite an intense journey. Sharing my past wasn’t easy, but it was definitely therapeutic. Accepting all that had happened to me and learning to live in the present for the first time has been a journey all its own. And yes, Dr. Baer always did a great job taking care of me and continues to try his best.

My story is a true story. Unfortunately, these type of stories are rarely discussed. Therefore I try to share. Awareness is important. My life has been painful, and it is my hope it’s never too late to make a difference.

I would describe my father as a cross between Archie Bunker and the real life murderer John Wayne Gacy. As a child, I dreamt that I would someday find someone who really loved me and who would take me away from my family. I dreamt of being happy, traveling around the world to the many places I’d read about, and be surrounded by beauty, peace and meeting nice people.

Thank you for your questions,

Karen

Comment by Male on October 11, 2008 12:36 am
Being that you were sexually abused as a child why didn’t you turn to a life of prostitution? How did you prevent it? Don’t abuse victims turn out to be promiscuous? Did you do drugs and alcohol? Were men attracted to you? In the book Richard Baer said you were fat, frumpy, boring and unattractive, if this was the case why were you abused? I spent time in prison for abusing a pretty child. I am sorry for what I did and paid for it with five years of my life. If this child was not pleasing to my eyes there’d be no abuse. Parents should never leave flirtatious pretty girls who tease men unattended or in the care of any adult male.

Male

Dear Child Molester,

How dare you ask these questions? These questions will offend all who read them. Five years in prison wasn’t enough and hasn’t taught you much. I thought prison rehabilitated men like you? No child should ever be abused. I sure hope you are not living near children. Children may appear to be flirtatious but they are not, they are innocent, looking for love and approval, and it is the responsibility of all adults to take care of children. A child who becomes a victim at the hands of a predator is not to be blamed. Do you realize what you have done? You stole a child’s innocence, spirit, and life. You hurt her. I pray she is receiving help. I pray she knows what you’ve done was not her fault. I pray she finds inner peace.

Your thoughts on sexually abused children are disgusting. Not all children will fall into promiscuity, drugs or alcoholism. While it is true that many women who are prostitutes were abused as young girls, that doesn’t mean all abused girls will become prostitutes. I regret not telling someone what happened to me, and pray that through sharing my story adults will pay close attention to all children.

I don’t recall Dr. Baer describing me by the words you chose. You’ve distorted everything to serve your own ideas.

Karen

Comment by Colin, UK on October 9, 2008 3:14 pm
To Karen,

In spite of all the world troubles nowadays how do you manage to live with outside problems, realizing after the survival of your inner traumatic world was a success? The world’s a mess. Do you sometimes think life on the outside is worse than inside?

A Life in Pieces, is marvelously written.

Good Day!
Colin, UK

Dear Colin,

I know the world appears to be in trouble these days. And I admit it’s difficult for me to manage some of the terror I hear and see in the news. I am just like everyone else. I grieve and am saddened by it all. What I do to help myself get through these difficult world times is to try my best to stay optimistic in pessimistic surroundings. My personality is one that wishes to save the world one act of kindness at a time. This is who I am. So, yes, most definitely, tragedy affects me. I pray for peace.

Regarding my inner world. Originally, my inner world was nothing more than alter chaos. My inner world could not be compared to the outside world. The real world might appear to be a mess, but my inner world was worse. I was filled with grief, turmoil, pain, depression, shame, guilt, nightmares and worse. In the real world, people can make a difference and change things. As a child, living in my inner world, I was stuck in torment. As an adult, I no longer live imprisoned within my mind. I am free to live my life.

Thank you for your questions and compliment on Switching Time (UK title, A Life in Pieces) being marvelously written.

Karen

Comment by Rosemary on October 9, 2008 1:51 am
Dear Karen,

Congratulations on surviving an horrific childhood and being able to share your experiences in the book and here as people need to ask questions. MPD may not fit into the question I have, but there must be similarities to other depressive illnesses that you can understand. I am not one to ever feel depressed until now. I just turned 55 and feel the weight of the world on my shoulders. Could it be because most people suffer from depression in the autumn months? Do you ever feel this way? My physician told me once someone suffers from depression it can be life long. Do you suffer from depression? I had thoughts of ending my life recently and as I read your story and this blog I know my life has been wonderful compared to what you went through. I am glad to know you through your writing. I am one of the woman who really did benefit. Thank you for not pretending to be perfect and admitting that you still have bad days. Women need to hear from real women like you.

The best to you and yours and to your compassionate doctor friend,

Rosemary

Dear Rosemary,

Thank you! I am glad to be able to share my experiences and answer questions. However, I am not a therapist and can only share my own personal thoughts and experiences. Surviving a horrific childhood, with MPD, doesn’t take away the fact that at times I also suffered from depression. After many years of therapy my episodes now are usually brief and last no longer than the problem at hand. During therapy I learned how to deal with these episodes. I have heard of seasonal affective disorder (S.A.D.) but am not sure if this was one of the reasons I suffered.

I’m glad my story inspired your own healing. It’s nice to hear encouraging compliments, but reading Switching Time is not a cure. Please be sure to seek professional help for your depressed and suicidal thoughts, even though you felt reading this book may have been a benefit to you. Your life is precious and these thoughts you’re struggling with may come back again. It’s important to understand where these thoughts were coming from. There are times when all of us need to reach out for help.

Please ask for help if you need to. I do.

All my best,

Karen

Comment by Cynthia on October 9, 2008 6:23 pm
Dear Karen, I was just wondering if you ever had a favorite stuffed animal. doll. or toy that brought you a sense of comfort as a child? I know this may sound silly, but I still have this one stuffed animal that I still hold close at night just to be able to fall asleep …Thank you again for answering all my questions. Blessings to you.

~~Cynthia

Dear Cynthia,

No, I never had any one particular stuffed animal that brought me comfort. As a matter of fact, if I appeared to be attached to any one toy, it was not only taken away from me, but destroyed. I learned early on that the only comfort I could have as a child would need to be invisible, kept hidden, and come from within myself in the form of fantasy, make believe, or thought. As I grew older, I kept some items hidden in a box, none of which were soft and cuddly, and these items were meant for my protection only.

Thank you for your question,

Karen

Comment by Geoffrey on October 9, 2008 10:38 am
Hi Karen,

What a mind boggler of a book, complicated in a way that each sentence had to be read or you would lose the meaning. I learned a lesson when I tried to skim through the book and had to go back before deciding to start again and read every word. One giant puzzle. Written with talent from each of your alters, Richard Baer and you. A group effort needless to say.

My questions: What do you like to do now that you are one woman? Do you have the same interests that your alters once had? When you integrated your alters did you like the new version of you after each integration or after all alters were integrated? How did you explain your differences to the people who knew you? Did you lose friendships and rid some of them?

Geoffrey

Dear Geoffrey,

Thank you for going back and reading Switching Time word for word, in order to not miss anything meaningful that would change your thoughts on our story. I agree, it’s hard to skim through my story because it is a puzzle. I appreciate all of your compliments, especially on behalf of my alters and Dr. Baer, for they were the true stars here.

I do have some of the same interests my alters had. I just never seem to have enough time to take on each interest wholeheartedly. I dream of doing some of the same things. For instance, I recently went on an artist’s tour, visiting six artists in their homes or studios. It was fun and had me wanting to resurrect my past artistic ability.

Regarding liking myself after each alters’ integration. All of my alters were already a part of me, before, during and after integration. Of course, as each alter integrated, there was a period of getting use to them; adding on idea’s and thoughts that I was unaware of beforehand. It did take a toll on me. However, as one woman, completely integrated, I became the woman I was meant to be.

During the integrations I stayed pretty much to myself. I was exhausted most of the time and needed this time to heal. I tried my best to be social but there were times I couldn’t be. Most who knew me assumed my distance was due to the physical pain I endured from my lung surgery. I would only share when asked, and say I wasn’t feeling well, while taking special care not to hurt anyone’s feelings. My close friends understood and were there for me when I needed them. Interestingly, during this time I learned not only to be a better friend, but learned who my true friends were. Unfortunately, for or my own sense of well being, I had to end some friendships. I never hated anyone, but it was important to end some stressful relationships in order for me to move forward and heal.

Thank you for your questions,

Karen

Comment by Cynthia on October 6, 2008 5:08 pm

Hi Karen, I love coming to this site and reading all the questions and your wonderful answers you give each person. I was just wondering how your physical health is doing these days? I get migrain headaches about once a month but I can usually get rid of them with rest and relaxation. I also wanted to know since I feel your a sensitive like myself if you have to be careful with certain foods in your diet that can trigger headaches or make you feel sick. Blessings to you,

Cynthia

Dear Cynthia,

Thank you for your compliments! It’s always nice to hear that readers come back to our site to read all the questions asked and the answers I’ve given. I’m amazed myself that so many questions have come in.

Thank you for your concern about my physical health. I’m doing well. I no longer suffer from the headaches that were once a daily part of my life. My headaches were caused from the switching of alternate personalities. There are some foods that I’ve been sensitive to, but I’m not sure whether removing them helped eliminate headaches. I can’t advise you as to what will help you with your migraines. For me, personally, I try my best to stay away from caffeine, fried foods, artifical sweetners, bread and pasta, just because I feel better without them..

Hope you find a helpful remedy for your migraines,

Karen

Comment by Justin, MD on October 6, 2008 3:10 pm

Have you forgiven your father, grandfather, husband, those who have abused you, ignored you, and didn’t intervene to help you and your mother? Please elaborate? Would you say your abusers fit into the same mold of dysfunction? If you were to describe each of them with a diagnosable mental illness which illness would you label them under? I know you claim not to be a therapist. I am interested in your gut instinct years after being abused and now that you’ve grown to heal yourself. I am a resident on a psych. unit and am interested in learning more about how your mind resolved your pain and how you are able to move on?

Thank you,
Justin, MD

Dear Justin, MD,

Have I forgiven those who have abused, ignored, and not intervened to help me? Yes, to a degree, but I have not forgotten what they have done. I have faith they’ve received their own justice. Holding onto the pain my abusers once inflicted would mean they have continued to be emotionally destructive from their graves. I don’t want to give them that power. My abusers are gone now, and I need to let go of the hurt they caused in order to live, breathe, and feel a sense of accomplishment. I did survive.

As you know, I am not a therapist. However, if I had to guess, I would describe most of my abusers as narcissistic, sexually preoccupied sociopaths. My gut instinct? I would describe them as insecure, pathetic manipulators who stole an innocent child’s will to live, as some call them–soul murderers. I’m not sure whether my mind has ever fully recovered from my past child abuse. I believe to have resolved most major issues that have weighed me down and continue to work hard to resolve what remains. I try my best not to live in the past.

Thank you for your questions. I hope you can help someone like me as you pursue your profession.

Karen

Comment by Genevieve on October 6, 2008 3:12 am
Dear Karen,

I have read Switching Time, the prologue, the story and epilogue were powerful. I bought it today, finished it today. I would like to know what you are doing to be happy. I may not have the right to ask this but this book must be keeping you insecure and not well. When any patient reveals their true story in a book there must be sadness when the past interferes with today. I also would like to know how you manage to change your relationship without switching, with the doctor, do the book business, from doctor to a friend and back to him as doctor when answering these questions. This must be nerve wrecking for you, does he understand you? And you him? I am excited and am ready to start sharing Switching Time with my friends and family tonight.

Genevieve
Murfreesboro, TN

Dear Genevieve,

Of course revealing my story was a bit overwhelming at first. How could it not be? I’ve matured over time and have come to accept my past and all the horrors I once suffered. Yes, there is a sadness that comes over me at times; the difference is now I deal with it as soon as possible and know there’s no room in my present life for the pain that once was a part of my past. I’m able to look forward and share my story without distress. I’m grateful that I’m able to accomplish this with help from Dr. Baer. If it weren’t for his supporting my decision to share, and my allowing him to write this book, I may not have become as strong as I have.

The book, Switching Time, has not kept me insecure and unwell. The book itself was never a threat to me. However, life itself, and the challenges that life brings can cause me to feel a bit insecure and unwell at times. Those who have abused me are long gone and no longer a threat to me. I’m happy to share my journey in hope to help others with their own. I continue to live my life in the best way I can, but I know there’s always room for improvement.

Regarding my changing relationship with Dr. Baer, this has not been a problem for me, although, it may have been more awkward for him. I’ve always been attuned to everyone and can easily shift gears. This is my special gift. There are times when misunderstandings can cause me grief and it’s at these times it’s most important for me to talk them through. I usually come to an understanding of what’s set me off and recognize it was triggered from some past experience. Once I understand, I’m okay. I believe Dr. Baer and I understand each other most of the time.

Thank you for all your compliments and for sharing Switching Time with your family and friends.

Karen

Comment by Oren Edmund on October 6, 2008 12:24 pm
Four questions:
Who are you and why aren’t you talking about what you accomplished?

What do you do and do people know who you are with you being anonymous?

Don’t you want and need attention?

How will people know you accomplished what you set out to accomplish?

Oren Edmund

Dear Oren Edmund,

I am not sure what you mean by your question regarding my talking about what I’ve accomplished. If you mean why am I not talking about my survival, please read my answers here. Have you read Switching Time? The answers to all your questions are written within the pages of my story.

I chose to remain anonymous out of consideration for my children and those close to me. I don’t need attention or to be in the limelight; my story speaks for itself. I’ve accomplished a great deal in simply surviving my horrific childhood. However, I would like to share my journey with more people in order to help bring awareness to my illness, MPD, and the life-long effects caused from being repeatedly abused as a child.

I can share what happened to me through this blog, how I dealt with my past, and how I managed to survive and help others. If one child is saved from someone who has read this book, then my voice was heard and my story, written by Dr. Baer, has accomplished its goal.

Karen