Comment by Kayla on 06 Oct 2010 at 4:31 pm

Dear Karen,

My name is Kayla. I’m 17 years old, and have read your story and have been doing some of my own research on cases like yours. I have found through your story, that things like MPD fascinate me greatly.

During the first two weeks of school, my English teacher mentioned a book, called First Person Plural. I’m sure you’ve heard the name. Well, our entire school has to write a book report, and there are roughly around six hundred kids in my school. I was originally going to check out the book, First Person Plural, but they were out of copies. So I just happened to run by your book; and I read the inside cover, and the first few pages of the first chapter and was instantly engaged with it. I couldn’t put it down for weeks. I even read your note, plus Dr. Baers’.

I just want to say, that you, as Judy has said, are one of God’s miracles. I must admit, that you are the strongest person I’ve ever.. well. Read about, really. I haven’t met you.. But you are one of the strongest, I assure you. What happened to you, is just uncalled for, on so many levels, I mean that, honestly. But for you to be as strong as you were with all of this, being patient through all of the years, it gives hope to others who struggle, whether you realize it or not. Your story helps others appreciate the good in life, and that it’s not all bad, and that you can make things that were once bad, you can make them beautiful again.

Anyways, I’ve been sidetracked, aha. But one question. The artwork that Jensen drew. The pictures in the book, are those the only ones? I’d love to see more.

Take care, and God bless you.

Kayla

Columbus, OH

Dear Kayla,

Thank you so much for sharing your kind thoughts and compliments! Receiving your post has me feeling good about living. I will continue to encourage hope through sharing my story for as long as possible. It’s my desire to help others by being available to listen. I care. During my childhood I felt no one cared or listened. Life is too short for us to ignore each other.  My patience and strength comes from feeling secure and cared for. I did not survive alone. I was fortunate to find the right supports.

There are more pictures by Jensen not shown in the book. Dr. Baer has them all in safekeeping. There are also poems, letters, and much more…an entire file cabinet full of gifts and things that were important to my alters and me.

And yes, Kayla, you can make bad things beautiful again.

Wishing you all my best!

Karen

Comment by Justien on 05 Oct 2010 at 5:20 pm

Hi!

I just love the book! Sometimes I had to stop reading cause I couldn’t handle it. But somehow I just wanted to read more and more. It’s amazing the things that you’ve survived! I’m sorry for all the pain you went through. But I’m glad you found Dr. Baer. I know some people who would die for someone like him! I’m glad you wrote the book. I couldn’t stop reading, I couldn’t let the book go.

We have one problem in Belgium, I can’t find it in English. I would buy it directly. You are an amazing person!

Justien

Dear Justien,

Thank you for your compliments! Dr. Baer and I truly appreciated hearing your reaction to reading our story. I’m glad to have found Dr. Baer to accompany me on my journey.   I am currently working on the sequel to Switching Time. You can buy our book in Flemish in Belgium or Holland.  You can also purchase the English version online here through our Web site (www.switchingtime.com).

Thank you for sharing.

Karen

Comment by Mike on 29 Sep 2010 at 10:48 pm

The things you post on Facebook cheer me up every day. Thank you for the time you spend taking care of all of us. I am so happy you accepted my friendship. You are so smart. I bet Dr. Richard is proud of you. I like the message you sent him. It’s so true. I am copying it and printing it out and reading it everyday. Can you share it again here. The one about Before you talk, listen. etc. You are compassionate and caring. I love you.

Mike

Dear Mike,

Thank you for noticing! I try my best to post things that help me get through my day. I am glad to hear my posts help you, too! It’s my hope too that Dr. Baer is proud of me. The message I posted on my Facebook wall for all to see, including Dr. Baer, follows:

Before you talk, listen.

Before you react, think.

Before you criticize, wait.

Before you pray, forgive.

Before you quit, try.

Though not perfect, I try my best to live by these words. I’ve fallen victim to those who judge too quickly. I keep this quote close at hand and try to think about it before taking action. Sometimes one needs to take a deep breath before reacting…

Thank you again for sharing!

Karen

Comment by Cami on 28 Sep 2010 at 11:29 pm

Dear Karen,

I am reading your story now and think you are incredibly brave and generous for sharing it with the world. I am so sorry for your painful experiences – I too cried to hear about your abuse. I wish I could send you a million hugs and wipe every sad memory away! I wish you every blessing life has to offer.

Cami

Dear Cami,

Hugs accepted! Thank you for caring and wishing all my sad memories away. I have tried to put my sad past memories behind me. I live in the present and look forward to a better future. I may still feel sad at times, but I try my best to acknowledge whatever made me feel sad and put in where it belongs, in my past.

Thank you for your blessing!  Sending a hug back to you!

Wishing you all my best!

Karen

Comment by Guy on 28 Sep 2010 at 7:49 pm

What is it about people who pretend to dissociate? Can you tell when someone is faking? I could not. Have you been led to believe in someone who faked being raped or abused and fell for it developing compassion only to find out they lied? I have been duped. I am pissed. I loved her and she lied about being a victim of sexual abuse. I bought it. How can I prevent falling for a false abuse act again? How can I tell if a woman was abused? What can you tell me about trusting your heart?

Guy Betrayed

Dear Guy,

I’m sorry someone lied to you and led you to believe she was a victim of sexual abuse. I’m not sure why anyone would make up such a story unless to seek negative attention. I’m not a therapist, but I believe this woman who lied to you has many more issues to deal with.

I’m very attuned to others–not by choice, but from my past experiences of being hyper-alert to all around me. Let’s just say I had to be attuned in order to protect myself. Not that being attuned is foolproof, but it is a gift. Most of the time I can spot a lie immediately. A lie will provoke an ill feeling within me. But that doesn’t mean I am always right.

All I can suggest about future relationships is to pay attention to the signs. Learn more about what can happen to an abused person, and most importantly, trust your instincts. But please don’t accuse anyone before knowing the facts. Maybe your friend felt abused or manipulated? There may be more to her story than she is sharing. And that may be why she can’t share the truth.

When my abuse started to surface in my memory, I did not share with my husband or close friends. I felt ashamed. I thought they might end our relationship. If possible, talk it through with her.  For closure, ask her, point blank, what the truth is and why she lied. I believe she has a reason. Abuse is abuse. She may simply not wish to share anymore knowing you don’t believe her.

Please know that a victim hurts in many ways. If abused and feeling threatened, she will be inconsistent in sharing her story.

Wishing you a sense of calm as you re-build trust in future relationships.

Karen