Comment by Anonymous on October 31, 2008 8:11 pm

First, a word about my own perspective on the practice of psychiatry. Itʼs hogwash! Raised in the Roman Catholic tradition I began my professional study in psychiatry after completing undergraduate work in philosophy. My studies included critical examination of christian scriptures. There is no such mention of this illness. I work from the conviction that it is my professional responsibilty to ask critical questions about the nature and function of your therapeutic relationship with Richard Baer MD and his diagnosis. One might legitimately ask whether my background might lead me to compare other illnesses using my own background experience as some sort of standard. I have sought to set up categories of this claimed diagnosis for comparabilty that privilege no particulars. I draw from a broad spectrum of concepts, and in no instance engage in the comparative evaluation of truthful claims on multiple personality disorder, dissociative identity disorder. I conclude and question. I am equally convinced that human beings are incapable of accomplishing dissociation to this extreme. Karen inflates her human capabilty beyond science. One of the most useful tasks we as humans could all relate to is understanding the reality of how and why each of believes in what we do.

Simon

Dear Simon,

I don’t really understand all that you’re saying, but from what you’ve said, it seems to all be about you.

Karen

Comment by Alan on October 30, 2008 3:22 am

Karen,

If you could live again in another time in the future, possibly through reincarnation, which alter would you like to come back as?

Alan

Dear Alan,

This is hard to answer.  I am the combined result of each of my alters, not any particular one, and each alter wasn’t really one complete identity.  My alters may have had certain strengths and gifts but they were not fully formed to live alone in reality.  If I had to choose one, it may have been Holdon, with the softer side of Ann included.  I’m not sure, but thank you for your interesting question.

Karen

Comment by Xandra on October 29, 2008 5:43 pm

Dear Karen,

In spite of all that you and Dr Richard Baer went through do you feel as if this was an accomplishment or not? If you were to know what you know now would you still make the decision to integrate or not? I have been diagnosed with mpd and my therapist gave me your book to read. I donʼt want to accept my diagnosis but have to be realistic. I do wish to heal like you but have my doubts. Did your therapist give you books to read? Which books?

Switching Time made me come to terms with my own diagnosis. I am inspired by you to do what I need to do. The only difference is I donʼt feel my therapist is the right one to accompany me on my journey? How did you know Dr. Richard Baer was right for you? How long did it take to know? I am in therapy for two years now, once a month.

Thank you,

Xandra

Dear Xandra,

I’ve always felt that all Dr. Baer and I have gone through was an accomplishment.  I’d make the same decision to integrate today.

Accepting your diagnosis of multiple personality disorder and working with your therapist on becoming whole through integration takes many steps and can only be accomplished after building trust with your therapist.  If what you are sharing with me is true, then in my opinion, you may not have fully bonded and built trust with him. You may not be seeing him often enough.  It’s hard to embark on an intensive therapeutic process only once a month.  Be realistic and trust your own instincts, even if this means seeking a second opinion.  Always remember, this is your life and you need to do what’s best for you.

Dr. Baer never suggested any books for me to read, but then, there weren’t any books like Switching Time to describe such a treatment.  Dr. Baer and I stayed focused and dealt strictly with my own inner world without any outside influences that could’ve been suggestive and confused our work. There was already too much alter chaos going on within me, and I didn’t believe I would ever heal.  During therapy I tried a few times to read or view something on MPD, but instantly felt ill and stopped.

I am glad to hear Switching Time is helping you come to terms with your own diagnosis.  In the beginning, I didn’t know Dr. Baer was the right therapist for me, but we worked hard together to establish trust with my alters.  All this took time, patience, and a commitment not to give up on each other.  I wish you all the best.

Karen

Comment by lenni on October 30, 2008 2:38 am

The guys voice on your book on tape was awesome! It pierced through me.. I would listen, fall asleep, rewind, start again and had to keep going. I rewound it a few times. I even listend to a few sections twice. Powerful and debiliating at the same time. I am not one to read so hearing it was good for me. There were times I had to stop what I was doing and make sure not to kill anyone. I couldnʼt listen to it in the car. It was too overbearing and intense. Great book!

Lenni

Dear Lenni,

Thank you for your review!  I can understand how tense you must’ve felt trying to listen to our book while driving!  Dr. Baer and I appreciate all your compliments, especially your sharing the emotions that came over you while listening to Switching Time.  The narrator, Lloyd James, his voice pierced through me, too, but in a calming way.   

Karen

Comment by Marilyn on October 31, 2008 6:50 pm

Dear Karen,

I feel so sad for you. I don’t know you but you must be petrified with Halloween and the memories triggered. I read you completed therapy but can’t imagine how you did when I could throw up just thinking about what you went through. How could you give out treats today? Can’t someone else do it?

Marilyn

Dear Marilyn,

How nice of you to think of me on this day.  I appreciated your concern, but there is no need to feel sad for me.  I am not petrified of the Halloween holiday. I no longer experience the pain I once suffered when this date triggered horrific memories. I actually enjoy the children dressing up in costumes and passing out candy treats to all the trick or treaters!  I will never again allow myself to live in fear of those who wronged me.  My horrific memories of abuse, once suffered on this day, were put to rest in the same way my abusers were—they are dead.  Besides, it’s much better to be a part of this day than to hide from it!

Happy Halloween!

Karen

Comment by Jessica Lynn on October 31, 2008 7:09 pm

Boo!

Happy Halloween!

Jessica Lynn

Dear Jessica Lynn,

Ditto!

Have a great day!

Karen

Comment by Dr. A.J.K. on October 29, 2008 4:54 pm

This is an amazing book of one doctor and one patient. It’s one of a kind, never has there been anything written such as this story. A truly remarkable addition to every psychology student and professor’s library. All who read will be taken on a once in a lifetime journey to the inner workings of the mind of one multiple personality patient and the mind of her therapist. A beautifully intense read. This book proves there are doctors who take the extra steps and do the right thing by taking on an extreme case, holding the rein and not letting go. As for Karen, what a patient to not let go and give up on the therapy. In the psych. world not many can tolerate such intensity for so many needed years of psychoanalytic based sessions. Unbelievable and worth reading!

Dear Dr. A.J.K.,

Thank you so much for your review!  Dr. Baer and I truly appreciate all of your kind thoughts, medically profound comments, enthusiasm and compliments.

You have made our day!

Karen

Comment by Madelyn on October 29, 2008 2:31 am

Karen,

I am in shock of all that you suffered as a child. When reading Switching Time and other articles on you I couldn’t believe how insensitive your mother was. Did she not love you? I would like to ask you a difficult question. Did you ever wish you would’ve died from the tumor on you head? How big was your tumor and did it cover your entire face making you look unlovable? Do you have a huge scar that is still visible? When you were a child and ill all the time what kind of illnesses did you have? As a child that lost time do you think your illnesses were from being abused or regular child illnesses? Do you think you would’ve been abused if your were a well child? You are the strongest woman I ever read about.

Madelyn

Dear Madelyn,

I believe the reason my mother was insensitive to my needs was because by ignoring me she didn’t need to deal with the reality of what was happening to me and protected herself.  My mother avoided all signs of the distress I was experiencing in order to believe she was a perfect mother.  My mother always kept things clean, baked, and worked at a job that kept her away five evenings a week.  My mother wasn’t there for me during the hours I was being abused.  I believe my mother loved me in her own way but was unable to express any real emotions.  She never hugged me or said she loved me.

The tumor I had was removed when I was two or three years old.  I can remember the hospital, my crib, my doll, but not the humiliation my mother and father felt when people stared. The tumor covered most of my eye, protruded about two inches, and was between the size of a golf and tennis ball. It wasn’t a pretty sight, but I don’t believe I was abused because of the way I looked.  I still have a scar, but now it’s only slightly visible.

I may have gone through more childhood illnesses than most children do.  Some of my illnesses may have been caused from being abused.  I really don’t know.  Not being a well child wasn’t reason to be abused.  My abusers didn’t care whether I was well or not.  In their minds I was vulnerable, available to them, with no one to protect me.

Karen

Comment by Danielle Leigh on October 28, 2008 3:52 pm

Dear Karen,

Thank you for sharing your story. I complain a lot. I am privileged. I would never comprehend things like this happening in the world. My teacher had our class read your book. I didn’t want to but for a grade had to. I am inspired by you. I shall not complain again. I am so lucky never to have experienced a life like yours. I am eighteen and haven’t made any effort to learn about life. I am a freshman in college. Mom and Dad pay for everything, I am set for life and the worst memory I had in life so far was my parents not buying me a car at sixteen. I felt abuse for this? Imagine that? I did receive my car at seventeen. My problems can’t be worse than yours but I told people they are horrible selfish parents. I guess I was wrong. I am very lucky my parents gave me everything including a wonderful childhood. This book woke me up. I hate that I am privileged. I decided to change my way of controlling my parents to get what I want.

Did you have nice things growing up? Did you receive things you wanted? Did your parents buy you things for being guilty? How about nice clothes? I could never survive what you did. You are my hero.

Danielle Leigh

Dear Danielle Leigh,

I appreciate you sharing your story and how you became more aware of your own life through reading Switching Time. As a college freshman you’re starting your own personal journey, and you will experience many different relationships in your lifetime.  At sixteen you felt abused by not receiving a car.  Of course, this was an illusion.  In my opinion, having these feelings are okay and changing the way you feel as you look back at these experiences means you have matured.

I can understand your underlying feelings of guilt having told others that your parents were horrible and selfish.  Don’t be too hard on yourself; it’s all a part of growing up.  I believe that now you’re sorting it all out.  It’s nice to hear that you came to appreciate your parents, and that you will no longer try to control them.  This is an amazing sign of maturity.  I am glad my story was helpful.  I wish you all the best.

During my childhood there weren’t as many things for kids to get as there are today.  There were no cell phones, iPods, or laptop computers.  I lived a simple life.  I attended catholic school, came home and watched television, did my homework, and soon it was bedtime.  I had a doll or two, but I never had any designer clothing and never asked for anything. I read books from the library. I never went to a movie theater until I was eighteen.  My parents never bought me things out of guilt, but my father would buy my mother material things to make up after he’d hurt her.

Thank you for letting me inspire you; that was very touching and I truly appreciate your compliment.

Karen

Comment by Long distance friend on October 28, 2008 3:44 pm

Dear “Karen”,

I wanted to thank you for giving me “Switching Time”. There are some elements in it that shed new light on my own life. The specificness of your memories are like what his memories are. My memories are much more impressionistic. The writing style you have allowed me to step outside of myself at a time when I really needed a break from my inside management. I love you even more now!

Some favorite moments:

I could relate when Holdon was saying how stressed he was trying to keep things functioning. The constant worry that someone inside would ‘out them’. The disputes about who was going to do what.. and the inevitable prefernces of someone who preferred to be ‘out’ or ‘in’. The gender issues when someone knew they were the opposite gender of the body and how frustrating that was.

When you found the tie to give to D. Baer.

Agreement is so precious. To find something that everyone liked and appreciated is such a treasure. What it made me do was enjoy all over again, the wonderful gifts you gave me and the girls. How completely appropriate… how full of love and appreciation. *smile* I get all teary just remembering all over again.

The ending

That’s the you I’ve met. The one after all the tears and stress and challenge of healing. I can enjoy you more now because I wouldn’t have had the chance to meet all the ones who kept you safe all those years. And I can appreciate you more because I’ve been blessed with healing too. I know the struggle to keep it all together and the bewilderment and the weariness of getting from one day to the next.

Thank you again from the bottom of my heart.

*hugs*

Dear Friend,

I am happy to hear that my story has touched you and has shed some new light into your own life.  I also appreciate you sharing your favorite parts of Switching Time.  It’s really nice to hear you paid attention to all the little details that made my alters come to life and be experienced as they really were.  I am amazed at how well you understand my overall experience.

Thank you so much for sharing your warm thoughts of my journey with Dr. Baer.  Thank you for bringing a smile to my face and believing in me. I am blessed to know you, too!

Karen