Comment by “Charles” on September 25, 2008 12:35 pm

Dear Karen,

I know you. Your story is eye-opening and very humbling. You are completely genuine, unique, a pleasure to know and never once looked for attention because of your past experiences. As a matter of fact, until you shared that Karen, is you, in the book Switching Time, I would’ve never guessed. I respect you for trying to protect your friends, including me, and your family, from the horrors you once suffered. I can understand why you felt no one would believe you, but knowing you as I do just has me respecting you all the more. I speak for all those who personally know you, WE, don’t need protection and want to be there for you!

I know it’s hard to change the mind set of people. Those who chose to work against assumptions and perceptions of the illness MPD have their work cut out for them. I read somewhere that if you look at the mind, consciousness, and the brain, the assumption that the mind and brain are the same is fine for most circumstances, because in 99% of circumstances we can’t separate the mind and brain; they work at the exactly the same time. Is this true? Can you ask Dr. Baer to answer this part?

I marvel your brain and how you survived. Do you know if there is any new science being studied? Your way of coping is an extreme example of what scientists need to look into? Has any medical professionals studying the mind contacted you? I know you, and Dr Baer, can help clear up the confusion and misunderstandings of MPD.

Good Luck and hope you sell a million books!

“Charles”

Dear “Charles”,

I truly appreciate your letter being sent anonymously. Thank you for all of your kind thoughts and words. I’ve always tried my best to protect those close to me because I’d never intend to hurt anyone. I never meant to disrespect anyone by not revealing my past; it was more that I needed relationships that didn’t focus on the victim I once was. I desired normal friendships. I enjoy and treasure my friends, and wouldn’t trade in anyone. I am grateful that each of you, my true friends, respects me for who I am, and has supported me through my sharing my journey.

Dr. Baer always remarked how interesting it was that a normal human brain (mine!) could organize itself in this unique way: through dissociating between part personalities. I don’t know about the research being done about how the mind works, but I think Dr. Baer is writing another book about this.

Dr. Baer and I hope through Switching Time we can help clear up the confusion and misunderstanding about MPD. Learning about MPD and the type of therapy Dr.Baer treated me with may be helpful to medical students and professionals. We hope to bring more awareness to this illness and would be interested in talking to any professionals who may be in the middle of researching MPD. We invite them to post their questions here!

Thank you, friend, for believing in me and my therapeutic journey. We, too, hope to sell a million books!

Karen

Comment by Mary Ellen on September 24, 2008 6:12 pm

Dear Karen,

While you were healing during therapy how did you make it through your days? How did you switch with children around? Did you act out in public like some patients who claim to be multiple do? Which alter was your favorite and which alter did you wish to be more like? I really am interested in hearing more.

Thank you,
Mary Ellen

Dear Mary Ellen,

I made it through my days very carefully. My alters made sure I appeared to be in my best form at all times. My alter, Katherine, had everything planned. All I needed to do was to remember what was written down in my datebook and go. I never put much thought into this way of life. I just followed and did what I was scheduled to do. I would always appear where I needed to be, on time. This may sound like a perfect system, but it caused me grief, for I never knew all that I had done until the end of the day. I would pray all went well. But it always did.

I never once acted out or appeared different in public. I may have appeared distracted, ill, or quiet, like a person deep in thought. The main reason for developing my alters was to protect me and keep me as safe as possible. I rarely switched in front of my children. There was no grand entrance in which an alter announced his or her presence. My children received the best of me. Through switching, I always became the Mom my children needed me to be. Switching was subtle. And most times, in order to switch, I would need to be threatened or provoked.

My favorite alter? I’m not sure; my alters were out of my awareness until integration. I believe each alter was an important part of me, and in their own way, I needed each one of them in order to survive. Now I’m Karen, who is made up of all seventeen of my past alters.

Thank you for your interest in hearing more,

Karen

Comment by Jacob on September 24, 2008 12:15 pm

Hi Karen!

I can’t wait to share this book with my friends. This night we will be meeting for coffee and comparing our most interesting finds of the week. Yours is mine to present. Absolutely a book to get under your skin and stay with you. That’s a compliment, in case you didn’t get it? Greatly written, well described and fully visual picture additions. I felt I was in therapy with you. Crazy, huh? I am going to try to stump my friends with knowing more about you from this website. I am sure all five of them will buy your book after I get through with them.

Good thoughts,
Jacob

Dear Jacob,

Thank you for your enthusiasm for my story, and for choosing Switching Time as your most interesting find of the week! Sounds like you will have a great discussion tonight! Please write back and let me know how it goes…

I appreciate your sharing that you felt like you were in therapy with me. I believe this means the book accomplished what it meant to. Thank you for all of your compliments, especially for having confidence in our book!

I wish you luck in stumping your friends!

Karen

Comment by Jerry on September 23, 2008 6:54 pm

Karen,

In response to another q & a you received and answered, I, too, bought this book while waiting for a flight, sat down and quickly became engrossed in your story, which amazed me. I am a lawyer, and like one previous q, is full of skepticism about mpd. That is until now! I finished the book, of course. The problem is I can’t stop thinking about you, the therapy, and your relationship with your psychiatrist. I need to know if your were properly taken care of legally? I would imagine you to be extremely gullible and not one to make the best decisions. Were you coerced into selling your story, giving up your rights and left unprotected? Considering all that you went through in this lifetime I can’t imagine you are where you need to be.

I never blog, think it to be a waste of energy and time. I had to ask these questions for my own selfish reasons. I read through every q & a in this site and have to say, you sound well grounded, caring and nice.

Best to you.
Jerry

Dear Jerry,

Thank you for reading Switching Time and coming to a better understanding of the illness I once suffered. I know there are many who are full of scepticism, and I am glad you shared yours with me. Having this illness made it difficult to comprehend myself, so I can empathize with all those who disbelieve. I, too, have read stories and have been sceptical.

I appreciate your concern about my relationship with Dr. Baer and whether, legally, I was properly taken care of. I am not gullible. Dr. Baer has been very thorough in explaining all the legalities to me, and I had my own attorney. Was I coerced into selling my story? No, I wasn’t. I never gave up my rights, and I don’t feel unprotected, but thank you for your concern.

I’m trying to be where I need to be. I look forward to my future.

Karen

Comment by Trina on September 22, 2008 6:34 pm
Dear Karen.

What would happen to you if you became stressed out again? Do you think you can reincarnate the old alters or born new alters? What kind of psych drugs do you take to prevent this from happening?

Switching Time is a book to read and think about, I am glad to experience this journey with you,

Thanks.
Trina

Dear Trina,

I have been stressed more than a few times since the integrations of each of my seventeen alters, but my ex-alters have never returned. Not even one. I admit there have been a few moments I wished one or two of them would have come back, but no luck. Integration was a success. I highly doubt any alters will “reincarnate” and don’t believe it’s possible any new alters will be born. The reason for developing the alternate personalities in the first place came from my unconscious need to protect myself during my childhood while I suffered from horrific abuse. I am an adult now and deal with life and its difficulties as an adult.

I have not been on any psych drugs for over fifteen years. I don’t believe there are any drugs that can prevent alters from forming. If there are, I’ve never heard of them.

Thank you for your thoughts on sharing this journey with me,

Karen

Comment by Angelina B. on September 22, 2008 3:42 am
Karen,

Just finished reading Switching Time, and it was very interesting and powerful. I am happy to hear you are here and able to share your story. Did you realize that you alone can empathize with many different levels of abuse? You were abused as a child, and as an adult an so many different ways in between. You are inspiration to all woman! I only wish to have had your strength to survive. I am a victim, too. I still suffer twenty two years after one episode of abuse. I feel unclean and every relationship I have with my potential man of my dreams, ends in distress, because I never feel good about the sexual stuff. I mean, when a guy is in the mood, the last thing he wants to know is that you were abused as a child, right? I tried to not share this huge problem in my past but it always shows thru eventually. A guy can tell. I know this may be a personal question to ask but do you still have problems with intimate relationships?

Angelina B.
Colorado

Dear Angelina,

Thank you for your kind words! I am glad that I am here and able to share my story. I hadn’t thought of myself as having suffered from many types of abusive relationships, but I guess you’re right. My illness turned out to be a life saver and an amazing way for me to cope with many years of being abused. I’m sorry to hear that you suffered an abusive episode. As your words show, it doesn’t matter how many times it happens, once is too much, and enough to produce lasting damage. I know how hard it is to feel clean and good about oneself after being abused. You are not alone, and I know it is very sad.

I am not a counselor and can’t give you advice, but I believe therapy could help you understand the feelings of low self-esteem you have regarding the sexual stuff. Perhaps you can work this through so that it doesn’t come up and derail your relationships. You never know, seeking help may strengthen you into finding happiness in intimate relationships. But when the time comes to share this in your relationship, this issue would need to be discussed so your partner doesn’t feel as if he’s the one who hurt you or is responsible for your feelings. I believe there’s never a good time to discuss past abuse, it’s an extremely sensitive issue, but it may need to be done.

It is my hope that the man of my dreams will someday love and accept me for who I am. Intimate relationships continue to be a challenge for me, but I have faith and know it’s not only possible but something I now can long for. I have all the feelings, thoughts, and desires of a woman. I have greatly healed from my past and look forward towards my future.

I wish you happiness,
Karen

Comment by A.J. on September 18, 2008 10:35 pm
Dear Karen,

Since you integrated do you ever have a bad day? Who takes care of things now that Holdon isn’t around anymore? Do you still suffer headaches?

A.J.

Dear A.J.,

A bad day? Of course, I do! Doesn’t everyone? I am just like everyone else who has a bad day once in awhile. And when I do, I try my best to pull myself out of the slump. Since I no longer lose time to alternate selves, I’ve found dealing with everything on my own frustrating at times. There are days I wish I could still lose time. However, realistically, switching time was never a pleasurable experience. I deal with everything on my own now.

My ex-alters have all been integrated within me and are now a part of me. I no longer experience their individual selves. I know that there are days I may feel more like a Holdon, Katherine or Claire, and there are other days I may feel like one of the others. But now I am just me, Karen, one woman.

I rarely suffer from headaches these days. As a matter of fact, when I do and it lasts longer than a day, I make sure I get checked for why. In the past, my headaches were severe and were caused by the stress of switching between alternate personalities.

Thank you for your questions,

Karen

Comment by Kyle on September 18, 2008 10:31 pm
Hi Karen!

Your story has left me in awe! My question to you is: How did you manage to get Dr. Baer to treat you without additional help? Or rather, now that you are healed do you feel Dr. Baer had taken advantage of your case for his own selfish reason to publish a book? Most psychiatrists, who are really medical doctors, never deal with patients in the way Dr. Baer has treated you. Most psychiatrists as far as I know, pass the buck over to the less qualified psychologists, social workers, counselors or even to group therapy centers. Your case must of been so different for him to take you on himself. Would you agree?

Kyle

Dear Kyle,

It’s nice to hear my story has left you in awe. Regarding my therapeutic relationship with Dr. Baer, I don’t think additional help ever occurred to us, at least not to me. When I started therapy with Dr. Baer, I had no idea how therapy worked. Dr. Baer didn’t transfer his patients, as far as I know, to other therapists. He was a psychoanalyst, and preferred to talk to his patients himself. All I knew was that I needed help, and Dr. Baer provided me with it. If I had thought I would be referred out to someone else, I would’ve been frightened off and discontinue therapy altogether. I believe Dr. Baer suspected I couldn’t comprehend all that was happening to me. If he had sent me off to someone else, spent less time with me, and didn’t believe my case was complex, I would’ve been lost in the system and may have never survived.

Is Dr. Baer selfish? I don’t think so. Early on, I knew far before he did that there was something very wrong with me. It’s why I sought help. I had been losing time long before the start of our relationship. I was too ashamed in the beginning to tell him for fear of him disbelieving me. It took time to for me to build trust. I had no idea I was an unusual case; I’d never heard of MPD, and I never felt I was treated any different than other patients. He never made me feel he was taking advantage of me, and I was very sensitive to such things. We never discussed a book until well after I was integrated, after about 10 years of therapy. And although a book was written, who could’ve guaranteed it would be published? And why would Dr. Baer spend eighteen years treating me; just in hopes of publishing a book? It may be true that most psychiatrists don’t go to these lengths to treat patients, but I consider myself lucky Dr. Baer took me on.

I believe my work with Dr. Baer was a success because he took extra time, beyond his call of duty, to make sure I was properly taken care of. We worked together well. I am very grateful for all he’s done for me and believe without his help, I surely wouldn’t be here today answering your questions.

Thank you for your compliment and challenging questions,

Karen

Comment by Break The Silence on September 8, 2008 11:15 pm

Dear Karen Overhill,

Thank you for all your hard work for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention’s, Break The Silence Today Benefit. Thank you for making time to help us. You have no idea how much you have inspired the volunteers. Knowing where you came from and how wonderful and nice you are today, has us believing there is hope in this world for those who suffer from depression and suicidal thoughts. We are happy to know you are alive to tell your story. You told us it takes time to heal, to have faith. We believe it’s so. Best wishes with Switching Time’s paperback sales! We hope you continue to share your wisdom with others.

Your newfound Break The Silence friends

Dear Friends,

Thank you for all your compliments. I enjoyed helping with the benefit. The importance of raising funds to help people to recognize those who have suicidal thoughts is important to me. During the times I felt bad, I never heard anything to help me with my thoughts of ending my own life. I felt alone until I found help in therapy. I hope others can get a chance to understand why they feel suicidal. If one life can be saved, because help is near, then all the effort is worthwhile.

I have been touched by all of you. Through your stories and experiences, I have learned how families are affected by the loss of a loved one. I admire all of you and your strength despite your grief and pain. You bring awareness, not shame, to these desperate young people. You Break the Silence.

I wish all of you the best; thank you for caring.

Karen