Comment by Mary Ellen on September 24, 2008 6:12 pm

Dear Karen,

While you were healing during therapy how did you make it through your days? How did you switch with children around? Did you act out in public like some patients who claim to be multiple do? Which alter was your favorite and which alter did you wish to be more like? I really am interested in hearing more.

Thank you,
Mary Ellen

Dear Mary Ellen,

I made it through my days very carefully. My alters made sure I appeared to be in my best form at all times. My alter, Katherine, had everything planned. All I needed to do was to remember what was written down in my datebook and go. I never put much thought into this way of life. I just followed and did what I was scheduled to do. I would always appear where I needed to be, on time. This may sound like a perfect system, but it caused me grief, for I never knew all that I had done until the end of the day. I would pray all went well. But it always did.

I never once acted out or appeared different in public. I may have appeared distracted, ill, or quiet, like a person deep in thought. The main reason for developing my alters was to protect me and keep me as safe as possible. I rarely switched in front of my children. There was no grand entrance in which an alter announced his or her presence. My children received the best of me. Through switching, I always became the Mom my children needed me to be. Switching was subtle. And most times, in order to switch, I would need to be threatened or provoked.

My favorite alter? I’m not sure; my alters were out of my awareness until integration. I believe each alter was an important part of me, and in their own way, I needed each one of them in order to survive. Now I’m Karen, who is made up of all seventeen of my past alters.

Thank you for your interest in hearing more,

Karen