Comment by kelly flynn v. on September 12, 2008 7:18 pm
dear karen,

thank you for answering all these questions. i have learned a lot from reading your answers. the book was so good i wanted to know more.

how do you deal with the questions that hurt you?

kelly flynn v.

Dear Kelly Flynn,

When I sit down to answer these questions, I write quickly, so I don’t dwell on them. I answer each question to the best of my ability. Once answered, I put them aside. If something should disturb me, I talk it over with Dr. Baer after answering it. I believe each question is important and helps the reader to process my story better. So far I haven’t really been traumatized by any one question.

Thanks for asking and caring,

Karen

Comment by MD on September 11, 2008 5:44 am
Dear Karen,

Switching Time, is breathtaking! It was well written and very detailed in explaining the cause and effect of multiple personality disorder or now known, Dissociative Identity Disorder. Remarkable read! Congratulations to you and Dr. Richard Baer!

Keep up the great job in answering these questions! Keep your spirits up and please make sure Dr. Baer is there for you when you need him. He should not let you go into another depression because of bringing up the past. He must continue to care for you. Does he? Does he know how the emotional toll in doing something like this can cause a relapse one day? I hope you haven’t relapsed yet. It’s inevitable. I hope you are aware of this?

I am a psychiatrist who is concerned about your mental well being. I assume you must be feeling overwhelmed, not only with answering these type of questions, but with your personal life. Who is there for you now? If you need another therapist to replace Dr. Baer, I’d love to help? I am Chicago based.

Loved your ability to survive such horror.

Take Care!
MD

Dear MD,

Thank you for your compliments and for your concern about my mental well being. I enjoy answering these questions; it’s therapy for me. I admit there are times I feel overwhelmed and a bit emotional, but this is what I choose to do with my life. It’s always been important to me to help others. I have survived something horrific and am glad to help now in any way I can. I know there are many who are in need of inspiring stories to help them complete their own journeys, and it is my hope they may find strength through reading Switching Time.

I do try my best to keep my spirits up! And, yes, Dr. Baer is there for me whenever I feel overwhelmed or overly emotional. Dr. Baer knows me better than I know myself. He is very concerned, is in touch with me on a regular basis, and makes sure the lines of communication between us stay open. I feel optimistic that if I started to fall into another depression, he would see this and would help me through it. I am sure Dr. Baer knows and understands the possible emotional toll all this can be on me. Talking about my past isn’t always pleasant, but I feel certain I won’t relapse. I am aware of my feelings and I share them with Dr. Baer.

I appreciate your offer to be a therapist for me. But I am doing as well as can be expected, and have Dr. Baer and great friends who support me.

Karen

Comment by Liselotte on September 11, 2008 2:30 am
Karen,

What a mind boggling book! I couldn’t put it down! I just found your website by accident when I searched for more info on the paperback so I could buy my friend your book. I won’t part with mine. You know how it goes, your loan out a favorite book, never to be with it again. Well, not this book. Do you ever look at the comments people left on amazon.com? There are more five star than any other! Great news for you and Richard Baer!

The paperback looks cool, who designed it, you? I am curious as to the meaning of the ink blot face thing. What does it mean exactly from the medical standard ink blot test? If you don’t know does the author Richard Baer know?

Liselotte

Dear Liselotte,

Thank you for not wishing to part with Switching Time; it makes me happy to know that my story has touched you and is one of your favorites. And thank you for purchasing a second book for your friend!

Yes, I do occasionally check Amazon.com to read the comments by our readers. I am very interested in what people have to say. I am also amazed that so many readers find Switching Time an incredible read. Dr. Baer and I wanted to share our story hoping to help readers understand the illness I once suffered from. I have learned quite a bit from everyone’s comments, including the few one star comments. I empathize with those who don’t wish to accept multiple personality disorder as a real illness. My wish is to bring awareness to those who disbelieve.

The paperback version of Switching Time was designed by an artist at Random House. I think the ink blot was meant to represent the psychological unconscious, where all my alternate selves lived.

Thank you, again, for all your enthusiasm,

Karen

Comment by Brice on September 7, 2008 7:33 pm
Dear Karen,

Wow! In return, I thoroughly appreciate your honesty and frankness in answering my questions. I had to know? You see, if I were you I would’ve killed those bastards. I am still dumbfounded that anyone, not just you, could survive something so horrific. How you didn’t become a drug addict, murderer or misfit in society is somewhat of a shock to me. Don’t you agree? Most people who suffer from past abuse don’t make it. You are definitely one exception to the rule. I learned something from your book. Not to assume or judge those who suffered from past abuse. Anyway I needed to hear an answer and you provided one. Thank you.

Brice

Dear Brice,

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I can understand you wanting to kill those who hurt me, at times I felt this way, too. But what would’ve happened to me? I’d be imprisoned for what I’d done, not my abusers for what they had done. I chose to live rather than destroy my life: something, my abusers never thought possible.

I suppose victims of child abuse could turn out to be drug addicts, murderers, or misfits of society. I was fortunate to develop the coping mechanism of dissociation, but everyone that suffers abuse must cope as best they can and in their own way. I was fortunate to develop a strong desire to do good and not hurt anyone. I survived because as a child I formed alternate personalities to help me get through the abuse I suffered until I was able to seek help for myself as an adult. Some victims of abuse may be stronger than others, but all of us hurt. I was lucky to have received the help I needed to keep me from destroying my life. Not only did my alters keep me safe, Dr. Baer was there to always help me stay on the side of reality.

Karen

Comment by irena on September 9, 2008 4:11 am
Dear Karen,

hello again. Big congratulations on the paperback release of Switching Time!

In Australia today, September 9, we are having what is called White Balloon Day.

http://www.whiteballoonday.com.au/

This is an initiative to specifically raise awareness of child sexual abuse. It is in it’s early days but doing great work in the community. Last year after white balloon day there were 519 reports to the police in one city alone. I think without a doubt child sexual abuse is the most culturally suppressed and hidden of all crimes and also personally the most difficult and anguishing to expose. There is so much that still needs to be done to protect children and help adolescent and adult survivors and your book is at the crest of a wave that I hope is gaining momentum.

It is interesting that although your DID and MPD were the subject of Dr Baer’s book, it’s your actual circumstances as a child and subsequent survival that are what people relate to and feel the need to talk
about most. You’re as ever amazing and inspiring in your answers to people. Keep up the wonderful writing.

Best Regards,

Irena

Dear Irena,

Wow! What a coincidence! Our paperback, Switching Time, coming out on “White Balloon Day” in Australia is amazing! Devoting a day to bring awareness to child sexual abuse is a great idea. I’m glad to hear that there is such a day and hope many true reports of child abuse come in.

You are so right to say that child sexual abuse is one of the most culturally surpressed and hidden of all crimes, and the most difficult to expose. You are also right that there is so much more that needs to be done to protect children and to help adolescent and adult survivors.

Thank you for all your encouraging words and especially for recommending my story to help people come to an understanding of the effects of child sexual abuse. Switching Time may be a book about multiple personality, but I was also a victim of sexual abuse. Although MPD was my personal coping mechanism, all children who suffer will cope in their own way. We need to help them all we can.

Thank you, Irena, for all your support and good wishes,

Karen

Comment by n on September 9, 2008 1:26 am
Hi !

Thanks for your incredible work on this topic. I am a survivor of DID also.

N

Dear N,

Thank you for believing our work on MPD. Dr. Baer and I appreciate your compliment. I am glad to hear that you also are a survivor of DID. I hope all is well with you.

Best wishes,
Karen

Comment by Cynthia on September 10, 2008 4:40 pm

Karen, I know all of us who have come from child abuse are true survivors and that gives me a lot of strength when I focus on that each day. I guess what I seem to struggle with the most is that no matter what kind of relationship I get myself involved in, I never feel I can fully trust anyone. The hardest part of being a survivior of child abuse is the loneliness that can be quite painful at times. I have never felt accepted or understood by anyone not even my own husband. I believe in a higher power and have felt a presence of love and peace when I went to God in prayer. I just need to hold on to that for now in order to survive all of this.

Thanks for listening,

Cynthia

Dear Cynthia,

I know how hard it is to trust. I empathize with you. It takes time to heal and to learn to trust again after being so hurt in childhood. I am glad to hear you believe in a higher power and that this helps you get through each day. Please hold onto this feeling of love and peace you’ve found in prayer and know that you are not alone. What helps me through difficult times is knowing that I still have faith, even through my darkest times. I understand that you feel lonely at times and that can be quite painful. I’ve been there, too.

Please seek help from a professional therapist who can help you see things through an objective point of view. Therapy does help.

I wish you all the best.

Karen

Comment by Lynne on September 10, 2008 5:56 pm
Dear Karen,

Congrats! Switching Time in paperback! I hope you sell a million copies. The book was by far, one of the most fascinating books I’ve ever read. Good Luck to you and your doctor! I bet this story reaches all women around the world who suffered at the hands of an abuser.

I would like to know more about you and for now, more about how you felt during the time spent before you sought help? In the book you said you pretended to be you so no one would notice any changes, how did your family members not know you were not the same and how did you explain yourself? Your mind fascinates me. I would love more detail.

Great Book! Utterly Amazing!

Lynne

Dear Lynne,

Dr. Baer and I hope to sell a million copies, too! Thank you so much for all your compliments, each compliment received inspires me to continue answering questions and lets me know that my story is reaching many women around the world.

It’s been so long since I thought about how I felt before I sought help. I knew something was horribly wrong with my memory after my daughter’s birth, yet I knew, from somewhere inside me, that I should keep quiet about it. I’m not sure how I knew; I just did. The part that came out in the hospital hadn’t been out in a long time and was very out of touch. After the birth of my daughter by cesarean section, I fought hard to recall who I was, where I was, and what had happened to me. I was afraid to share this information for fear I would be called insane and be institutionalized. I started observing everyone who visited me during my time in the hospital, and I learned quite a bit about who I was. Later, it really helped to gaze through the many photo albums I had from before my daughters birth. These albums were very detailed and provided enough info for me to be able to become the woman in the pictures, at least for the time being.

The reason why no one noticed any changes in me, is mainly because I had complications, was physically very ill, on medication, and healing from the cesarean section and two lung surgeries. Most assumed the reason for my disconnectedness was because of the pain they assumed I experienced from surgery. Little did they know that my pain was dissociated and I had to pretend the pain was real and present. Being ill and in the hospital for several weeks protected me from anyone finding out I wasn’t me. This pretending to be what others expected was how I survived my entire life.

Thank you for your questions and your interest in knowing more about how I survived.

Karen

Comment by Sophie on September 7, 2008 1:11 am

Dear Karen,

Thank you sharing your story. I am part of a book club and we will be reading Switching Time this month. We were waiting for the paperback to come out. Before we start reading I wanted to share why I recommended this book. I know you are real. I can tell. I read this book twice because I wanted to. There are many books out there that talk about the pain of child abuse.. There’s only one you. There are eighteen members to our book club so you can count on eighteen books sold. If Oprah calls you, would you go? I read you are trying to be discreet and chose not to be known. Is this true? I think you are terrific and would like to see you reach more people around the world. So many women would benefit from knowing you. Please reconsider anonymity. You will be respected, not harmed.

Much love,

Sophie

Dear Sophie,

You’re welcome! Thank you believing in me. You’re right, there’s only one me. I am real. And yes, my story is true. My story may be one of only a few that talks personally and truthfully about the effects of child abuse. Awareness is so important in preventing child abuse.

Thank you for suggesting Switching Time for your book club! I am also a book club member. I haven’t yet shared with the women in my club that I am the subject of a book. I’ve wondered about whether or not my story would be accepted. I am new to my book club group, joining just last year, and haven’t formed relationships with all of the women yet. With each of the books I’ve read, I’ve grown stronger in accepting myself. Many of the books have had horrific happenings, and I empathize with each book I read. Please let me know how your discussion goes with Switching Time. Maybe someday I’ll share my story with my own club.

Regarding my being discreet and not being known; there’s a bit of a misunderstanding about this. I originally chose to be anonymous for several reasons. I feared family and friends wouldn’t accept me if they knew my real story. But as time has passed, and more of those close to me discovered I was “Karen”, I found they didn’t reject me, but accepted and supported me. I also have grown children who I’d never wish to be the subject of their friends’ disapproval. Although my children accept my story being published, I feel a mother’s need to protect them.

As the book moves forward, and with the paperback coming out, I’ve come to accept myself as ‘Karen,” a survivor of MPD. And of course, if Oprah should call, I would go. I’ve always admired Oprah and would love to speak with her. Oprah has inspired me for many years. My ex-alters loved her; one even wrote her a letter! Like Oprah, my dream is to help women who are in distress know they are not alone. I pray Switching Time will benefit women around the world, and I pray for respect for myself. I believe sharing my story was meant to be.

Dr. Baer and I, appreciate the sales coming from your book club. If your club has questions, post them here!

Karen

Comment by Eleanor Dorothy on September 6, 2008 11:48 pm

Dear Karen,

It took me awhile to figure out how to ask you a question. The website is difficult to maneuver around. I pressed on the question button and got no where. I pressed on the answer button and got part of the answer, not the whole answer. I am not good at computers so I ask someone to help me. I like to write and read. I read at least one book a week. Being old I am good to go. I wanted to know if you ever wish you could lose time again and how does your body feel when you want to switch now with no alters?

You are in my prayers. God Bless you and keep you safe from now on. I am 70 years old and this is my first email. My grandson gave me a computer for my 70 birthday two months ago. My son gave me your book for my birthday because I always talked about Sybil and how horrible her life was. But yours was worst. Now I only talk about you. I enjoy reading your answers, it gives me something to look forward to each day. I admire you. I also admire your doctor. I hope your story becomes a movie.

The good Lord loves you,

Eleanor Dorothy

Dear Eleanor Dorothy,

How wonderful to hear you are learning to email and chose to write to me first! You have brought a smile to my face! I know it’s a bit difficult trying to understand computers. I am still learning myself. Thank you for pointing out the difficulties with our Web site and asking a question.

I enjoy reading and like to write, too! It’s nice to hear that your son bought you Switching Time as a birthday gift because he knew of your interest in Sybil’s story. I have not been able to read through Sybil. I tried to read it, but the similarities in the abuse made it difficult for me. Maybe someday I will try to read it again. Like Sybil, I tried in the best way I could to survive. Child abuse, in all forms, is horrific, and to me, no two cases compare. It’s a sad life to live after being abused. I believe dissociation saved me from some of the horror I experienced until I matured enough to deal with it. It is our hope to bring awareness of child abuse in order to help others to recognize any signs that a child is being hurt.

Thank you for your blessings. And for you continued interest in reading my blog.

It would be very exciting for Dr. Baer and me if our story becomes a movie some day.

Blessings to you,

Karen