Comment by Brice on September 7, 2008 7:33 pm
Dear Karen,

Wow! In return, I thoroughly appreciate your honesty and frankness in answering my questions. I had to know? You see, if I were you I would’ve killed those bastards. I am still dumbfounded that anyone, not just you, could survive something so horrific. How you didn’t become a drug addict, murderer or misfit in society is somewhat of a shock to me. Don’t you agree? Most people who suffer from past abuse don’t make it. You are definitely one exception to the rule. I learned something from your book. Not to assume or judge those who suffered from past abuse. Anyway I needed to hear an answer and you provided one. Thank you.

Brice

Dear Brice,

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I can understand you wanting to kill those who hurt me, at times I felt this way, too. But what would’ve happened to me? I’d be imprisoned for what I’d done, not my abusers for what they had done. I chose to live rather than destroy my life: something, my abusers never thought possible.

I suppose victims of child abuse could turn out to be drug addicts, murderers, or misfits of society. I was fortunate to develop the coping mechanism of dissociation, but everyone that suffers abuse must cope as best they can and in their own way. I was fortunate to develop a strong desire to do good and not hurt anyone. I survived because as a child I formed alternate personalities to help me get through the abuse I suffered until I was able to seek help for myself as an adult. Some victims of abuse may be stronger than others, but all of us hurt. I was lucky to have received the help I needed to keep me from destroying my life. Not only did my alters keep me safe, Dr. Baer was there to always help me stay on the side of reality.

Karen