Comment by Kierstan on 07 Dec 2009 at 11:05 am

Dear Karen,

Want to know what it’s like to be a christian after the church failed you? After God gave you up to abuse? After your world was destroyed by hate? How is it possible for you to maintain faith in God? Church is an archaic fascist lie that all uneducated and over educated fools of the world buy into. Don’t clergy depress you? They would me if I were you. I admire you Karen but not those who let you done under God.

Kierstan

Dear Kierstan,

God did not give me up to abuse. God provided me with a coping mechanism, multiplicity, so that with alter help, I could be in survivor mode all my life. I may have been abused, but that’s not God’s fault, that is the fault of man. The church did not fail me. A certain pastor did. I believe if my pastor would’ve taken the appropriate action when I was abused, then maybe my abuse would’ve ended and my abusers would’ve been imprisoned. The lack of knowledge, fear due to ignorance, and the guilt associated with my pastor’s lack of action caused him, not the church, to fail me.

As a matter of fact, it was my faith that kept me going. I would think about the sacrifices Jesus made for us and knew that if he could endure such pain, I could too. Somehow deep within me I had the spirit and will to live. I recall as a small child begging God to take my parents away from me, and when that didn’t happen, I started losing faith. Then one day I prayed that if I survived, I would devote my life to helping all those who have been abused.

When Dr. Baer generously offered to write my story, with my help, I saw this as a sign that God was with me all along. My alters were created to help me cope through horror. Dr. Baer was God sent. And my survival and ability to share my story was meant to be. I am here because God wanted me here. I am present to bring light to a dark place.

Thank you for your challenging question.

Karen

Comment by Dee on 07 Dec 2009 at 10:52 am

Hi Karen,

Thank you. I am from Sweden. I love your courage. Book was very challenging to read but marvelously written.

Dee

Dear Dee,

Thank you for your wonderful compliments!   I’m glad you read the Swedish edition!  And thank you for believing I have courage!  Dr. Baer and I truly appreciated hearing from you.

Thank you,

Karen

Comment by Hannah on 01 Dec 2009 at 9:56 pm

Dear Karen,

I know you are probably busy all the time but if you could what would you like to do in regards to further helping abused girls around the world? I believe you have valuable knowledge to share. I believe Richard Baer should help you achieve the purpose of your sharing your story. I don’t mean to sound not in a well meaning kind of way but really, you took such a great risk to share your past to help others. Your blog is amazing, you are amazing. I think Richard Baer did a great job with you but what does he do to continue to help you? A book is great but the reason behind the book is the focus. Keep talking, Karen. Richard, help her. I hear all these stories about abused girls and every time I think of you. You are powerful whether you think so or not. Thank you.

Hannah K.

Georgia

Dear Hannah,

Thank you for sharing. I want to be a strong voice that helps those who have been abused. It is my wish to encourage hope through sharing my story. No one needs to suffer alone. There are so many valuable lessons to share to help the abused. Many years ago, especially during my child hood years, the public didn’t know much about child sexual abuse. If I had heard anything as a child on television, or in school, I would’ve learned that the abuse I suffered was wrong.

If only the adults in my life, including the nuns at Catholic school, would’ve paid attention to the signs that were clearly visible. If only knowledge was provided without shame. If only people knew what to watch for, I might have been saved. But no, no one spoke of it, no one reported suspected abuse, and worse, I was led to believe I deserved to be abused because I was told I was evil and bad.

Knowledge is the key. The more we share our pain with each other the more awareness we can provide to stop future child abuse. It is my hope that all adults pay attention to all our children. I believe children have a way of communicating through their expressions that say, “I am being abused; please help me!”

Thank you for your concerns and for caring.

Karen

Comment by Lori on 11 Dec 2009 at 1:54pm

Dear Karen,

I see that you are selling autographed books. I think that’s great but one question, can you personalize them to? I was thinking of ordering one for my teacher as a holiday gift for Christmas but thought it would be nicer if it were personalized? I just wanted to ask before I order.

Thank you!

Lori

Dear Lori,

Thank you for considering buying our book for your teacher. I would like to try to personalize a book for you. Why don’t you post to this blog as a comment what you would like Dr. Baer or me to say, that is, who it’s for and maybe a brief message. We won’t publish it, but we will have the personal information for your autographed copy of the book.

Thanks again for your interest in an autographed copy of Switching Time. I hope your teacher finds it interesting and helpful for her students.

Best holiday greetings,

Karen

Comment by meMonicas on 05 Dec 2009 at 12:05 am

hi karen,

we haven’t been able to read your book all the way through yet – your story is way WAY too similar to what our own is to be able to get very far into the book.

we wanted to let you know how strong we think that you are – to share your life, to make us all witnesses to your experiences.

meMonicas

Dear meMonicas,

I understand how hard it must be to read through my story when you are hurting yourself. I would encourage you to take it slow until you feel a bit stronger. I also had a difficult time reading books on my illness while in the process of healing in therapy. Although I never read Sybil, I did read a few books after all my alters were integrated. My reasons were two-fold. First, I did not wish to be influenced by someone else’s story. Second, I feared my alters would become distressed by the stories and cause more chaos.

Thank you for believing I am strong. I believe you are, too. I have faith in you and know that if you decide my story is too hard to finish now, you will continue reading it at another time. Taking time for yourself to heal is most important.

Thank you for your compliments. I wish you all my best as you continue your own personal journey to wellness.

Karen

Comment by Emily on 03 Dec 2009 at 1:27 am

I read this extremely touching, fascinating, and amazing book translated in Chinese(Mandarin) recently. Since the day I read, I couldn’t put it off from my hands. It’s just so…amazing…words cannot describe. I read it in my own mother language and I couldn’t wait to search the website to find more information about you and Dr. Baer. Thank God that I found your blog and this new website. Thank you for sharing your such painful personal experiences with us and this can help so many people who are in sufferings. I believe this will inspire a lot of Chinese people (I’m from Taiwan) because Asian cultures are often more conservative about revealing and discovering the truth. Thank you Karen and hope you will continue to have a peaceful life journey!

Dear Emily,

Thank you for all your kind thoughts and words of encouragement! I truly appreciate hearing from you. I admit it was difficult to share my story, but I believe it was necessary to share the truth about what can happen to victims of child sexual abuse. It’s my desire to encourage hope through sharing my story. I believe without revealing the truth about abuse, there would be no understanding. Knowledge is the key to healing.

Thank you for your wishes for my continued peaceful life journey. I will continue to try my best to live my life to the fullest. I truly appreciate your believing my story will inspire many people in your country.

Karen

Comment by Billie  on 01 Dec 2009 at 9:38 pm

Karen,

You are TRULY an amazing woman!!! A SURVIVOR of so much & an inspiration to so many. ((HUGS my Friend)) I am so thankful to have had the chance to get to know you. I am proud to help fight the cause of child sexual abuse with you!!

Dear Billie!

You’re so kind and thoughtful! Thank you for bringing a smile to my face! I am so glad to have met you, too. It is my hope that together we will continue to help with the fight against child sexual abuse.

Proud to be your friend,

Karen

Comment by Missy on 01 Dec 2009 at 9:25 pm
Hey Karen!
Good news today! 3,500 Child Predators and Sex offenders were kicked off of Facebook! Thank you for being a part of that!
Missy

Dear Missy,

That’s great news! I found the link and posted it on my Facebook page for all to see. I’m so glad that there are steps being taken to remove predators and sex offenders from Facebook and MySpace. There needs to be laws in place to monitor those who abuse. Child predators and sex offenders should never be allowed to steal someone’s innocence. Though we may not be able to protect all children, awareness and knowledge are most important in an effort to prevent those who are convicted from having access to our children, period.

Thank you for sharing.
Karen

Comment by Genalee on 30 Nov 2009 at 12:20 am

Dear Karen,

I was watching The Joy Behar Show and she was talking about an Ex-Wives Club. having just finished reading your book my thoughts drifted to you and your ex-husband. What were the ending conditions of your divorce? Did you divorce him or did he divorce you? Was your divorce because of your multiple personality disorder or other reasons? Did he cheat on you? When did you stop talking to him? Did you have contact with him in therapy being that your were a mpd patient? Did he love and care for you? What was the breaking point for you? Did you divorce before or after the book? Did he read the book?

Thank you.

Genalee, LA

Dear Genalee,

The episode on “The Joy Behar Show” was interesting. I was able to Google the show and watch the segment on the Ex-Wives Club. I am not a celebrity and far from fitting into the high profile divorces shown. For me, I divorced my husband after years of being mistreated. I stayed in my marriage much longer than I should have because I was afraid of making it on my own while battling a few illnesses. I felt unloved, uncared for, judged, and ignored while trying to heal. I needed support and didn’t receive any. My marriage started out wonderful. It first became problematic after the birth of my daughter. My husband couldn’t handle my illness, not only my multiplicity, but the depression and surgeries that came along with it.

My husband never cheated on me. Actually, he had his own issues and alcohol was his chosen addiction. I would’ve been happier divorcing him over infidelity than divorcing him for being cruel, heart less, and not sympathetic to my illnesses. When two people marry and become one, for better or for worse, they should each take responsibility for their own indiscretions. I always believed in the marriage vows we took. Unfortunately, once battered, mistreated, and un-loved–what kind of marriage is that? So we grew apart. I chose freedom. My ex-husband chose alcohol.

My husband never participated in my therapy. I was glad he didn’t. During my therapy, Dr. Baer helped me to survive the challenges of living with an alcoholic and raising our children to the best of my ability. Our children are doing fine. My ex-husband is now ill from his alcoholism.

I truly believe my ex-husband loved me at one time. We were married for over twenty-one years when we divorced. I don’t hate him. I wish him well and believe he feels the same. I needed to divorce him. And yes, my ex-husband did read the book, and afterwards he called me in tears and apologized. That was a very important turning point for both of us. Accepting the truth of my illness, his behavior that added to my distress, and the fact that we grew out of love with each other, led to our divorce. Switching Time was published six years after my divorce.

Thank you for your questions.

Karen

Comment by Laura on 29 Nov 2009 at 1:08 pm

Dear Karen and Richard,

I am feeling blue this morning. I am a multiple like you were Karen but not integrated yet. I admire your work together. Believe it or not I am doing better now than last year because I am inspired that healing can occur for people like us. Thank you for giving me that gift. Knowing good people exist in all of us helps me live. Days that hurt like today I remember you. Just thought you’d like to know. Love you Karen and Richard. Thank you.

Laura, Ohio

Dear Laura,

I’m sorry you are feeling blue. I have those moments, too. I’m glad to hear that you are feeling better this year despite this morning’s blue thoughts. Distraction sometimes helps me avoid blue feelings, but acknowledging my past helped me heal by releasing my fear and dark thoughts. Therapy will help you and healing will come. I have faith in you.

Thank you for remembering Dr. Baer and me on this day. We truly appreciate your kind thoughts and compliments.

Wishing you success on your journey to healing.

Karen