Comment by Julie on 02 Aug 2009 at 3:51 am

I’ve been depressed for some time now.  I can’t afford to see a therapist and my regular doctor has ignored my symptoms and let me down.  He thinks it’s temporary and will disappear once my situation improves.  I think he’s wrong.  It took me a lot of years to trust my doctor’s advice.  I feel alone and fear worse is coming.  Did you ever feel like me?  What did you do?  When I read you story it gave me hope not much hope but some.  At least enough to write you for advice.

Dear Julie,

I’m sorry to hear you’ve been feeling depressed.  I understand those feelings well.  I’ve felt the same many times.  Maybe your family doctor is not hearing that you are truly depressed because he does not thoroughly understand what you are trying to share with him.  Sometimes primary care doctors are more focused on the physical symptoms than the emotional, yet emotional issues can cause so many physical symptoms.

There was a time when one of my doctors didn’t seem to understand me.  I believed he dismissed most of what I said because he knew I was depressed.  He hoped that by my next visit my symptoms would go away.  If they didn’t, he would start ordering tests.  Maybe a second opinion will help you?

I don’t believe your family doctor wants to ignore you or let you down.  If I were you, I would make a list and point out your concerns, and share more of what is happening to you.  Please don’t wait for your doctor to guess the problem.  That may never happen.  Doctors may be well educated, but they are human and can’t read thoughts.  A doctor may suspect a problem, but it’s not his job to say so.

Thank you for sharing your story.  I’m not a doctor and can’t give professional advice, but in my opinion, you should try to talk to your doctor again, but this time write your concerns down and be prepared.  I believe once your doctor sees that you’re making a serious effort, he will listen intently.  Perhaps if he is unable to help, he will refer you to someone with the professional skills that can help you.

Wishing you all my best!

Karen

Comment by Stella on 02 Aug 2009 at 2:27 pm

Hi Karen,

First of all I have to tell you I haven’t read the book yet, I am hesitant just now because I am living in a state of hypervigilence and am triggered by so many things, but especially reading or seeing accounts of abuse. So I avoid these things like the plague. Haven’t watched tv in about a year, it’s so bad right now.

I am 47 yrs old, I’ve been in therapy for over a year now and am officially diagnosed with CPTSD with dissociation, depression, anxiety and social phobia, but I have to tell you, the more I read the more I am convinced there’s more to it and that perhaps my therapist is just being cautious with me. It’s been a rough year, never thought that starting therapy for anxiety attacks, depression and social phobia would lead me down such an unfamiliar and previously unfathomable path.

My question to you is this: was there ever a time when you were in the thick of things in therapy, where you felt as though you no longer trusted that your therapist was dealing straight with you, or perhaps wasn’t doing everything necessary to keep that level of trust, and if so, how did you overcome this?

I so appreciate the strength and courage it took you to stay the course, I have an enormous amount of respect for anyone who faces that kind of darkness with determination to see the light again someday. I consider you a positive role model, someone to look to for that glimmer of hope that is so needed on this kind of journey!

God bless,

Stella

Dear Stella,

I appreciate you writing and sharing your story.  I understand how reading any book on abuse could set you off in a negative way.  As a matter of fact, during my therapy years I couldn’t read any books on my illness either.  I never even saw the movie Three Faces of Eve until after integration, and then only with Dr. Baer by my side.  I still haven’t made it through the movie Sybil nor have I finished the book.  Please don’t be so hard on yourself.  When you’re ready, and only then, will you be able to read stories on abuse.  I hope you’ll read mine.

There may be a way for you to learn more about Switching Time, and that is by simply reading the questions sent in and my answers on this blog.  That will give you a sense of knowing my story without too much detail.  I know it takes time to heal, and acknowledging what you’ve shared with me is an important step in moving forward.

Regarding therapy, yes, there were a few times when I felt confused and doubted that I could trust Dr. Baer.  That’s a normal part of the therapeutic relationship.  It takes time to build trust.  My trust for Dr. Baer took years of give and take before I was able to feel secure enough to begin to use that foundation of trust and move forward.  Trusting anyone is hard work after a lifetime of being hurt.  How did I deal with my moments of doubt?  Dr. Baer helped me and I would let go, and allowed myself a chance to experience something unfamiliar: faith.  I prayed for God to guide me, and I trusted my own instincts.

I believe your determination will help you see the light; you’re already well on your way.  I will keep in you in thought and prayer for a safe journey to wellness.

Thank you so much for all your compliments!  I wish you all my best.

Karen

Comment by Barbara on 05 Aug 2009 at 10:13 am

No question today. I am in awe of your work here on the blog as well as with Dr. Baer. You both deserve an award. Thank you. If ever a need to bring forth life to the hopeless you have accomplished that much and more. Thank you both for being such a positive role model in a society of depression caused by past abuse. No child needs to suffer. No adult should suffer from being hurt as a child. Awareness is the key to healing.

Dear Barbara,

Thank you so much for your kind thoughts and compliments! You have made my day!

All my best wishes to you,

Karen