Comment by Diana on 29 Mar 2010 at 4:27 pm

Hi Karen,

I am a depressed woman of 55 who totally felt better after reading the end of your book. Thank you for providing your story with such remarkable faith. Dr. Baer was a good doctor to treat you so many years. If I were a doctor like him I’m not so positive I could handle such a tough case. You are a great team!
 My question, as a woman who lost many years to healing how do you see yourself living? Do you see yourself young at heart or your true age, the alters ages or older? Has the wisdom you gained been in the form of an old soul? What do think God wants from you now?

Blessing to you and your Dr. Baer.

Diana
 C

Dear Diana,

I am glad to hear you felt better after reading my story, but please know that a book does not replace good therapy. I am not a therapist and can’t give advice, but if you are hurting, please seek help.

My journey was met with many traumas. I could not have healed without guidance. I trust my instincts, but when I was at my lowest and dark thoughts permeated through my walls of resistance, I felt suicidal and temporarily lost faith and vision. I needed help from the outside. Depression takes a toll on one’s spirit. Despite periods of time spent feeling better, past issues can resurface time and again if not dealt with.

I feel young at heart, but with an old soul. Sure, I have traveled through a journey unlike any other, but I don’t feel that I lost myself. I believe my growth was simply on hold for about twenty years. After integration I was able to re-start my life by moving forward without fear of the past. Age is irrelevant to me. I never think of my age or the age my alters were before integration. My friendships come in all ages, too.

I believe God would like to see me use the wisdom I’ve gained from my suffering and journey to encourage hope through sharing my story. I believe I’ve survived for a reason. I believe God provided me with the most creative coping mechanism, multiplicity, for me to survive and share and help others. There is no doubt in my mind that I have work yet to do.

Thank you for your blessings. I wish you all my best.

Karen

Comment by Cassi on 29 Mar 2010 at 9:00 pm

Dear Karen,

Student here. Was almost? I attempted suicide and am in serious condition. I took a bunch of pills and they used charcoal in me to try to clean me out I guess. Your book was here in the hospital library section and I’m almost finished reading it now, epilogue to go but saving it until after dinner. Talk about provoking feelings>>>> You know what? It helped me to read it. I was given permission to email you from my therapist. I guess I ask too many questions. What I want to say to you is thank you for shedding light on abuse. I can see my life ahead of me. I made a mistake and was ending my life because my boyfriend dumped me. I am eighteen. Anyway when I get out of here I am starting therapy once a week. I think it may go pretty rough but if you can survive what all you did I know I will survive to.

Cassi

Dear Cassi,

Thank you for sharing your story and for saying my book encouraged you. That is important to me. I am pleased to know Switching Time was in the hospital library. I was hospitalized twice but I don’t recall an in house library. I wish books and computers were available during my stays. Please thank your therapist for allowing you to read the book and contact me.

I’m sorry to hear that your break-up caused you to feel so low, but I’m glad to hear that my story helped you realize life is precious and it can’t be ended over a boyfriend break-up. The way I see such dark times is as a new chance to begin again. Please know that at eighteen you have so much to live for.  Please continue your healing when you leave the hospital. That’s important.  I am not a therapist and can’t give advice, but in my opinion when a relationship breaks up it never means your life is worthless. Your self-esteem can’t be harnessed to whether a boy loves you; it must come from you loving yourself. Please take care of yourself first. I’m sure for you the best is yet to come.

Have faith and your healing will follow.

Karen

Comment by BJ on 29 Mar 2010 at 12:43 pm

OMG Kar! How do you stay calm and answer so many questions? There sure are a lot of grieving and hurting people writing to you almost daily. Are you okay with this? Does Dr. Baer help you de-stress like they do when soldiers comes back from war? Do you suffer PTSD? You do know what you do is traumatic on your spirit. It’s like going back to war all the time. If you consistently step backwards to help others you will wind up near death. Take care of your soul Kar. Love you and care for you. I want to see you and Dr. Baer happy not stressed.

BJ

Dear BJ,

Yes, there are quite a few hurting people and lots of questions coming in. I don’t mind and answer them one at a time and take a break when I become too stressed. Although I talk to Dr. Baer, he is no longer my therapist. Therefore, I don’t always turn to him when I am in distress.

There are times I feel as if I may be suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder. Why? My occasional dark thoughts and feelings can be triggered by something, although they pass just as quickly as they arrive.  What I do know for sure is that I need to be able to calm myself when all becomes too much. Dr. Baer helps in other ways. He is my mentor, confidant, and trusted friend. He simply no longer counsels me.

I admit, it’s sometimes a challenge to maintain integrity, dignity, and a sense of calm. When I slip back into my past experience to answer a question, I don’t stay there. I remove myself, take a deep breath, and move forward with my present. My answering questions in this consistent fashion won’t cause my death. My spirit is that of a survivor. I’ve been through horror and back. It’s my hope to continue to do what I do best, to help encourage hope through sharing my story. If there comes a time where it all becomes too overwhelming and I feel out of control, I know Dr. Baer would help me. After all, he knows me best.

Thank you for your care and concern. I am taking care of my soul.

Karen

Comment by Amy on 26 Mar 2010 at 7:13 pm

Karen,

I’m 13 and I’m almost finished reading “Switching Time”. I just have two questions:

1) Do people ask you about your childhood alot?

2) If they do, does it bother you to talk about it?

You are probably one of the most strongest people I have ever heard of, I wouldn’t be able to go through at all what you have been through.

I have alot of respect for you.

Amy 🙂

Dear Amy,

Thank you for your compliments, believing in my strength, and respecting me. Your kindness means more than words can say.  

I have received many questions about my childhood and answer each one the best I can. I don’t mind answering any questions. I believe in sharing to help others understand multiplicity. While sharing my past, I try to remove myself from the pain I once felt. I can talk about most anything, because as an adult I no longer harbor the fears that once paralyzed me. My abusers can’t hurt me anymore. If I held onto my past fears, my abusers would have won. I choose to share with hope and optimism. 

Please know that you can ask me any further questions here. 

Wishing you all my best. 

Karen

Comment by Leslie B on 26 Mar 2010 at 9:42 am

Karen! What a remarkable story. Thank you and your therapist Richard Baer for allowing your journey to be told. I watched the show USoT and found some of your comments from last year. I am grateful you help people. Keep on helping us. I don’t know if you know it but you and Richard have a gem in Switching Time. I too hope to see another book from you guys. I know the first episode aired the other day. I see comments but none from you? Did you watch it?If not is it because you no longer like the show? Your input is valuable. Love to hear your thoughts. One other thing why can’t people stop trying to destroy your story with crazy questions leaning towards your story not being a good thing? Don’t listen Karen. You are phenomenal. Dr. Baer is, too! Like you wrote ‘We made a great team’ Don’t forget the truth. Don’t let people control those good thoughts with their jealousy. I see you haven’t gotten around to answer some questions as of today. I can see why? Love your spirit. Ever think of filming a documentary?

Leslie B.
Cleveland, Ohio

Dear Leslie,

You have no idea how much I appreciate your comment. I appreciate you sharing all that you have, especially your concerns about those who ask questions that are off-putting, accusatory, or rude. I answer each person’s question to the best of my ability, but I admit at times it can be wearing when negative undertones are present. I’m not sure why some people feel the need to attack me and Dr. Baer. I assume it’s hard for some people to believe in our story and wish us well. Maybe it’s jealousy. Some people feed on the unhappiness of others and seek it out.

I try my best to deal with rude questions with optimism. I believe most people are hurting and may not realize their questions are transferring their pain onto me. I am attuned to them. In my opinion there are no right or wrong questions, there are simply questions. I believe if someone has something on their mind and needs an answer, my response will bring them a sense of calm.

I haven’t watched the first episode of United States of Tara, but I will and most certainly will join the message board. I enjoyed doing so last season and looking forward to contributing this season as well. I’m glad to hear that my comments have helped. That’s what I’m hoping for.

Thank you for believing my journey is worth hearing about. Maybe some day we will film a documentary. Time will tell.

Karen

Comment by Laine on 25 Mar 2010 at 9:58 am

Hi Karen,

I am curious about your views on sex after being a victim of sexual abuse? Also how does a woman like yourself deal with viewing sex in movies and films? And as a now integrated multiple? Do you deal with background hang-ups? I know my question is a bit personal but needed for education purposes. I don’t expect any deep uncomfortable secrets, just basic info. I respect your ability to share and help people. I admire and respect both you and Dr. Baer. Thank you.

Laine, Paris

Dear Laine,

My views on sex? I try to not think about my past abuse. I have been married and have two grown children. I believe that keeping my mind in the present makes me less affected by what happened to me over thirty five years ago. The only hard time I have with movies is when viewing aggressive acts, such as beatings, hurtful words, and degradation. I am a woman with normal feelings and urges. I am no longer in an abusive relationship.

Thank you for admiring and respecting my healing and work with Dr. Baer. That’s very important to me.

Karen

Comment by Connie on 23 Mar 2010 at 5:37 pm

Dear Karen,

Read your letter to the president, wow I didn’t know you had medical struggles at a high risk level. Didn’t you make millions on your book? You should have. Your talents and contribution should be paid for. Stay well. The world is waiting to hear more from you.

Connie

Dear Connie,

Thank you for your compliments! Yes, there were insurance struggles for most of my life. I hated fighting with insurance companies over my care. I was always ill and insurance never fully covered my medical expenses. And once off disability, I found it impossible to afford good insurance because I was considered high risk. After over thirty surgeries, I can only assume the insurance companies expected more of the same.

My working for a small not-for-profit organization with no insurance benefits has caused even more problems for me. At this time I am uninsured and searching for insurance.

And no, neither Dr. Baer nor I made millions on our book. The book world is much different than most people think. We received an advance, but realistically it takes years and years to pay back the advance before proceeds are paid again. Switching Time is doing well at a slow and steady pace. It is our hope to continue at that pace for many years to come.

I am looking forward to sharing more as times goes on. I believe sharing my story gives me purpose to stay healthy and move forward.

Karen

Comment by Paul on 23 Mar 2010 at 3:44 pm

Dear Karen,

I am a college student and read your book yesterday. I didn’t want to but glad I did. I have no words to express how endearing you are to me. I never met you but love you. In your answers on your blog I feel like I’ve known you all my life. That’s rare for me. I don’t really like many people? Thank you for allowing your story to be known. I never heard of your illness and boy did I receive an ultimate lesson on the human spirit and recovery. What a wake up call! I may have actually found compassion lurking in my cold heart? Thank Dr. Baer for his help. Thank you Karen.

Paul, 
Hawaii

Dear Paul,

Thank you so much for your sharing your kindness. I feel blessed. I am glad reading Switching Time has helped you understand more about healing.

I will share your letter with Dr. Baer. I’m sure he will be impressed that his book brought you knowledge.

Karen