Comment by an abuser and not proud of it on 15 Jun 2009 at 3:44 pm

Karen,

I have abused children in the past. Long time ago, thirty years. don’t do it anymore but live with guilt. The girls, 3 of them, are grown now, probly over 35 years old. I was in prison two weeks ago for a different crime, stole a car, and your book was in the pile. It sounded intyeresting so I read it. The questions at the back made me feel worst. I was 16, black male and preguiced and hurt white girls. I never’d expect them to remember being abused so young. Kids suppose to forget everything. I don’t remember my kid hood. How could you remember? The girls I abused were between 5 and 8. I had no guilt till I read the book. I don’t know what to do with the guilt now that it’s too late. I pray a lot for those girls I hurt. It would be great if people read your book, vicums and abusers to see what happens. I never abused after those girls. I was angry.

Abuser and not proud of it.

Dear Abuser,

I appreciate your sharing your story with us here on the Switching Time blog.  In my opinion, it’s important for all to know what it’s like for an abuser to finally acknowledge their wrong doing.  Abuse is abuse.  There are no time stamps that erase the past.  I hope and pray they have healed and have come to accept that they were not to blame.

I’m gratified that you felt guilty after reading Switching Time; that means our story touched a part of you that’s human and real.  Interesting you found our book in the prison library.  I wonder what drew your attention to the book in the first place?  Was it because it hit a nerve about abusing those girls all those years ago? The fact that you were in prison for another crime suggests there is something much deeper that troubles you.

I am not a therapist and can’t give advice, but in my opinion, children usually remember the feelings attached to their experience of being abused.  I remember everything that had happened to me.  It affected my entire being.  I never felt good about myself and suffered from low self-esteem.  That’s a common reaction.

I am glad the questions at the back of the book made you reflect. It is my hope that both victims and abusers read Switching Time to educate themselves on what can happen to an abused child.

May God have mercy on your soul.

Karen