Dear Brittany,

I hear you. There were many times when I asked myself the very same questions you ask.  I don’t have an answer.  My alters were created so that I survived.  I believe I was never able to act violently towards anyone, neither me nor my alters.  There may have been times when an alter wanted to kill an abuser, especially Karl, but I don’t believe that it was really possible, at least not in my case.  When one of my alters had a violent intention, one of the other alters always stepped in and stopped him.  There was always somebody watching.

It was never Dr. Baer’s responsibility to stop my abuse; it was Dr. Baer’s job to guide and teach me how to handle and stop my abuse on my own.  I was an adult and it was a task I needed to learn.  I believe Dr. Baer felt like stepping in at times, but he couldn’t.  I remember he pleaded with me to go to a shelter for battered women, but I wasn’t ready.  I eventually learned to do take care of myself and divorced my abusive husband of twenty-one years.

I believe Dr. Baer would’ve testified on my behalf if I needed him to.  But there’s a lot of ignorance and misinformation about multiplicity.  That’s one reason we decided to share our journey in Switching Time. There continues to be so much to learn about the illness I survived.

Thank you for your questions.

Karen