Comment by L on 22 Jul 2009 at 9:07 am

Dear Karen,

Oh my God, things have gotten so much worse for me. My mom won’t let me leave the house. She won’t let me go anywhere with my friends. I am over 18. It doesn’t matter to her. She got mad because I was fighting with my sister. She completely freaked out and accused me of using drugs. I’ve never done any drugs. I just get mad sometimes. The only thing that made it bearable was being able to go out. I can’t stand it here. I just can’t. I want to die so bad. I have no where to go. I don’t have a job and no money.

I had a friend who said he wanted to help, but he hates me now. He thinks I’m pathetic. Nothing has changed since I was a little girl except the sexual abuse doesn’t really go on anymore.

L

Dear L,

I hope you’re having a better day!  Bad days come and go, everyone has them, including me.  However, it seems victims of abuse have bad days more often than not.  I’m sorry to hear that you were abused.  Although you briefly mention that the sexual abuse doesn’t really happen anymore… it appears that the abuse continues.  Whether in verbal or physical form, abuse is abuse.  I know it’s hard to imagine you can some day get away from all that causes you unhappiness.  If you are being abused in any way, please seek help soon.  It’s important that if you are having thoughts of wanting to end your life that you find a therapist to help you right away.

It sounds like your mom may have over-reacted to the fight you had with your sister.  Some of us accuse and say hurtful things when we’re angry.  My mother would also say horrible things when she was angry.  Please hang in there until these dark moments pass!  Remember you are over eighteen and your life has just begun and you have so much to look forward to.  I know things are difficult for you at home at this time but is that reason to end your life?  No.  Please don’t hurt yourself.  You can dream of a better tomorrow.

During my dark days, I would journal like crazy.  I wrote and wrote and wrote until I exhausted myself and my pain was transfered onto paper. Through writing I was able to deal with my stress and focus in a productive way.  For me, journaling helped.  Maybe it can help you, too?

I wish I could be of more help.  I’m not a therapist and I can’t give advice.  I hope my thoughts and opinions are of some comfort.  Please take care of yourself first.  Remember, the most important person to you is yourself.  And if you don’t take care of yourself, you will become stuck and unable to move forward.

Wishing you a better day.

Karen