Comment by Carlton, Jefferson City on 07 Aug 2009 at 9:30 pm

Hi Karen!

I picked up the book today. On the way home on the train I read the prologue and have to say I am looking forward to finishing the book tonight.  I don’t think I can put it down. But before I begin I wanted to let you know that I think you are brave for daring to reveal want happened to you.  I also believe Richard Baer was brave to treat you.  I know I won’t pre-judge the book before finishing it but want to know why you let your doctor write some not so nice comments coming from his thoughts about you early in treatment. Did he realize he would hurt your feelings?  How did you react reading that he didn’t think much of you?  I just read a few pages into the first chapter and his selfishness has me annoyed.  I respect his work but how does anyone who work with patients who thinks more of himself than his patient.  I know I didn’t finish reading yet.  Mere thoughts.

Dear Carlton,

Thank you for sharing your compliments, concerns, and thoughts before finishing reading our story.  I can understand your concern over why is was necessary for Dr. Baer to share his thoughts during the early days of our therapeutic relationship.  I believe, like all of us, we tend to develop feelings that need to be understood and worked through. Whether a therapist or patient, each person in the relationship has feelings and thoughts that are generated as the relationship develops.

I believe it’s normal for some therapists to become initially agitated or annoyed with a difficult patient, especially as with me, a patient who couldn’t share much because my inner pain was out of my awareness.  The therapist can’t help process all that a patient needs to share unless the patient actually talks and reveals herself.  Doctors aren’t mind readers.  And I believe my initial lack of sharing caused frustration for both of us.  It was also very overwhelming for me to talk with him.  Remember, I didn’t like Dr. Baer very much when I first met him, either.  I thought he was arrogant.  We both tolerated each other until we built rapport and trust.  As I look back now, despite his initial feelings, I realize he was trying to do his best.

Dr. Baer never shared his thoughts and feelings about me during therapy.  I didn’t know how he felt until the writing of the book.  By that time I understood more about myself and where he was coming from.  Of course, the first time I read his thoughts I felt a bit hurt, but that thought quickly left and I wound up laughing at all that I put him through.  I was definitely not the easiest patient to treat!  I’m not sure if I could tolerate someone like me.  I was horribly depressed, pessimistic, and had a never ending ton of woes.  I felt blessed when he agreed to treat me and gave me a next appointment.  Dr. Baer never once gave up on me.

Dr. Baer and I felt it was best to truthfully share the ups and downs of treating me, a patient with an incomprehensible illness–multiple personality disorder.  If we had not shared the truth, how would our story have helped those doctors who had similar feelings for their patients and for the patients who felt their doctor didn’t care?  The therapeutic relationship builds on trust, and takes a great deal of time and patience for both the doctor and patient to accomplish this.  Many years of give and take.  Treating me was hard work, often frustrating, but what a true miracle to overcome so many obstacles and be healed.

Please come back and share your thoughts after reading Switching Time. Thank you.

Karen