Comment by Sandra on 20 Aug 2009 at 3:05 pm

Karen,

Have you ever felt like running away from your self since integration? What constitutes change under distress? How do you live? Is your pain gone?

Sandra

Dear Sandra,

Yes, I’ve felt like running away from myself, especially at times when I become overwhelmed with reality that causes too much stress.  Doesn’t every one feel like that at times? I prefer to stay calm. But like all of us, sometimes that can be an impossibility.

I become overwhelmed after someone mistreats me and I can’t cope with that hurt as I once did.  Sometimes it feels like I’m dying.  It’s my alternate response to taking flight and running.  I turn within myself and can’t move on.  Therefore, for me, it’s best that I feel safe, respected, and cared for.  When someone triggers an old feeling from my past, sometimes I can’t move on and I become paralyzed in thought.  If I can remain in a sense of calm, my pain will lessen.  If I am stressed, my physical and emotional pain can become intolerable. Sadly, at those times I no longer feel safe

I live in the best way I am able, one day at a time.

Karen