Comment by Lee on 24 Aug 2009 at 6:51 pm

Hi Karen, Lee here. I bought Switching Time for class. Do you know how you write there is a reason fo everything and sharing your story was meant to be? My story is a perfect example of that! I read it and wanted to say you and Richard Baer make a great team. I’ve been in therapy for a few years since the death of my best friend who suffered from multiple personality disorder. I never fully understood her but was there for her all the time. I couldn’t get pass why she didn’t call me before hanging herself. I talked to her just two hours before she did it.. I felt numb for two years. I couldn’t even date anyone.

Switching Time helped me. Before her suicide she told me she couldn’t stand living without knowing what she had done during her periods of missing time. She said that she was frustrated and her therapist wouldn’t take her seriously. Her suicide note stated that she was so sad and didn’t want the people around her to suffer to. Strange that all who loved her suffer more now that she’s missing from our life. How could she do that to us?

I can’t bring her back. But what I wanted to let you know is that your story brought me peace. I can put the past aside. I blamed myself. Now I understand what she went through. I know her death was not my fault. I can now look back at all she shared. Unbelievable crap. Sometimes I would listen but with disbelief. I wouldn’t laugh at her but believed she made it up. I didn’t know much about her illness. I write because I feel bad that I didn’t understand. I could’ve been more of a friend if I knew more. If I read Switching Time three years ago. Switching Time is an asset. I took your book to my therapist, he read it, loved it, and will share with other doctors.

Thank you for bringing me refief. God Bless you.

Lee

Dear Lee,

Yes, I believe there is a reason for everything and that sharing my story was meant to be.  As I read your note, I felt privileged you chose to share with me.  I’m sorry that you lost a good friend to suicide.  I am also saddened to hear that she suffered from multiplicity.  I can imagine what she may have felt that led her to suicide.  Living as a multiple is very difficult, especially when confronted with people who dismiss, laugh, or disbelieve that it is a real illness.

Please don’t be too hard on yourself.  The main reason Dr. Baer and I shared our journey in healing me was because we knew so many in the world misconstrued what the illness of multiple personality disorder really was.  Our goal is to bring awareness in hope for a better understanding for all.  I believe movies and television shows have caused many to laugh, mock, and judge the illness.  We hope all who read Switching Time have a better understanding of the severity of the illness and learn.  Knowledge is the key.  Bringing awareness is a necessary part of healing.

I can also understand your friend’s suicide note saying that she didn’t wish to hurt anyone around her.  I believe she was hurting deeply and could not see past her own pain and couldn’t understand how her death would affect all those whom she loved.  I’m sure if she were able to comprehend her actions beforehand, she wouldn’t have taken them.  Realizing the effects of one’s actions is something that prevented me from taking action on my own dark thoughts of suicide.

I’m sorry that you suffered so much because your friend’s suicide.  It was not your fault.  There was nothing you could’ve done to prevent her from taking her own life.  Like you said, she spoke with you two hours prior and you hadn’t picked up on her distress.  She didn’t want you to.  Please don’t blame your self.  She ended her own life. You didn’t end it for her. When someone is in that horrible state of mind, there’s little anyone can do to change it.

Multiples are sometimes annoying, often miserable, depressed, and unpredictable. They wear a mask so others can’t see how they are truly feeling. All we can do as friends is to be the best friend we can be without trying to live anyone’s life for them.

I am glad to hear that my story has brought you peace. That’s very important to me. Please know that dealing with the ups and downs of a friend who suffers from the illness of multiplicity is very hard.

Now that you have read Switching Time you will be a better friend to everyone you meet in the future.  In befriending a multiple, you have gained much wisdom, compassion, and tolerance. I wish you all my best for a future filled with happiness.

Thank you for sharing my story with your therapist.

Karen