Comment by Rebecca on 02 Sep 2009 at 7:05 am

Dear Karen,

Thank you for answering questions. My brother has been diagnosed with DID about three years ago. It all makes sense to me now that I read your story. I read your book because of wanting to know more about my brother’s illness. He still lives at home, unable to live on his own. He wasn’t exactly like you, he got in ton’s of trouble. So much help knowing what happened to you. I am so much more understanding of him. The book Dr. Baer wrote about you saved me from a future of hating my brother. You see, my brother is thirteen years older then me, is now thirty, I’m seventeen and a junior in high school. My brother was extremely abused by his father who is now imprisoned. I am worried about my brother at this time because he is extremely agitated now that he found out his biological abusive father is up for an appeal in five months after serving twenty years of a twenty five year sentence. My brother is responding to therapy really well but this information set him back. What can happen if his father comes after him? He no longer has the same last name but what can  happen to my brothers alters if they spot him somewhere? One of the alter’s is paranoid of everything. I see big problems and don’t know what I can do as a sister to help him. My mom and dad don’t know about the upcoming appeal. I was home when the letter came addressed to my mom. My brother grabbed it from me and read it. I’m really afraid. Should I tell our parents? You don’t have to answer me right away, there is five months to wait.

Thank you kindly,

Rebecca

Dear Rebecca,

Thank you for sharing your incredible story about your brother and all that he has gone through. Sounds like you and your brother have a close relationship that’s been challenged by his illness. I’m sorry that he is suffering at this time after receiving news about his biological father possibly being released from prison. I ‘m sure that he must be suffering and his alters must be in chaos.  I would be, too!  You haven’t mentioned whether your brother is in therapy, if he is, that’s good.  If not, please seek help for him  soon.

Keeping such a huge secret from your parents is not a good idea. I’m sure your Mom has anticipated this day for over twenty years and has the right to know about the letter.  I believe your Mom and Dad can be of help in lessening the anxiety your brother is feeling. Remember, talking things through works better for a multiple.  If your brother holds in his pain without sharing with his therapist or your parents there could be damage to his inner system that helped him survive.  It’s really best to deal with it.

I am touched that you chose to write to me. That’s a very big compliment for me.  I wish I could be of more help and advise you, but I am not a professional therapist.  At this time I think your brother needs the support of a therapist to help him overcome any fear and anxiety about his father’s situation.

Thank you for writing, please know that I encourage you and him to seek help.

My best wishes to you and your family. I will be looking forward to hearing how it all worked out.

Karen