Comment by Richard on 12 Sep 2009 at 10:37 am

Hi Karen,

I work in the Mental Health Field and was wondering whether Dr. Baer would allow you to be an expert witness on cases that don’t require a professional therapist, psychiatrist or social worker. I had this thought that with your experience as a woman who has succeeded to survive horrific abuse to answer questions as you do here on your blog, you must be qualified per your personal experience. In the courts I have witnessed cases that the so call ‘expert witness’ never experience life lessons or abuse to empathize in most cases. I believe that someone like you, who has experienced sheer pain could be an asset to cases of misfortune and misinformation. Are you following me?

In all fairness, victims needs a voice from someone who can understand their pain from experience. Most therapists can’t do that. Therapists may be book smart but not social or experience smart. Dr. Baer, as an example, how could he possibly empathize with the horror you experienced if he had never experience being sexually abused as a child himself. He can’t. It’s not possible. All he can feel and know came from what you told him.

Someone like you is more qualified than any doctor who spent half his life in med school. I don’t know how possible it is for you to work on what’s mentioned above. But think about it? I believe you can do it. The way you answer questions in a consistent helpful manner has me believing there is a job out there somewhere where you can continue to grow in that direction. The way I view you, you are the new Ann Landers, not the same, better, because you’ve been there and can help people who suffer and come from their dysfunctional world. Answering people who have serious issues regarding mental health, as a common person is needed. Ann Landers couldn’t have done a better job than you. I mean that as a compliment. Great work!

Richard

Dear Richard,

I hardly believe that I am more qualified than a doctor who has spent many years in medical school, but I accept your compliment in believing me to be so.  I appreciate you understanding that someone like me, who has suffered from severe abuse, can empathize with another victim.  I’ve never thought an “expert witness” could be someone other than a qualified medical doctor. I suppose it’s possible to be considered an expert witness from past personal experience, but how could that be acceptable in court? I’m not sure how to answer your question, but I love the idea of helping victims through my experiences. If there ever came a time when Dr. Baer felt that my telling my story could benefit a case, I’m sure he would ask me to do so, and I would say yes.

Since I am not a professional therapist, I can’t comment on the training therapists go through in order to treat patients.  I am sure that each therapist should experience therapy himself in order to become a therapist.  Empathy is identifying to a small degree with someone else’s feelings, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that one has to have experienced the same pain.  It’s true that Dr. Baer’s understanding came from what I shared with him, but he didn’t need to be sexually abused himself to know the pain I shared.

I am touched that you believe I could contribute to the defense of victims of abuse, but I myself couldn’t have healed myself without Dr. Baer’s help.  I needed a qualified therapist to guide me through my horrific inner pain and twisted world. Remember, I was suicidal, in alter chaos, and unable to function at the beginning of my journey.  I may be able to help others, but it took over eighteen years of unconditional professional help to get me to this point.  I am grateful to have found Dr. Baer and received the appropriate help I needed. In turn, I am now one woman with the ability to help others through sharing my story.

Thank you for all your compliments! I would love to be the new Ann Landers!  I truly appreciate you encouraging me to do more. That means a lot to me.

Karen