Comment by Pastor D on 16 Sep 2009 at 8:27 am

Hi Karen,

Read your story. Unbelievable! I am appalled by what happened to you. What can people do to help you? I know what you experienced was horrific and is a life long healing journey. I know you must be still hurting. There’s no way possible you can’t be. Do you feel you need more help now as you try to live in reality? Who do you know to help you continue your healing? The book must have shook your new world. What help has Richard Baer provided in the form of continued help? I am concerned truth be not known. I know you are brave. But not brave enough to live well alone. Writing your story may be fulfilling a purpose but you need support too. I will pray for you.

Pastor D

Vermont

Dear Pastor D,

I appreciate your concern and for acknowledging how appalling what happened to me was. I may have gone through horrific pain, but it’s my hope that by sharing my story, other children may be spared what I’ve suffered. I believe through awareness we all can gain the knowledge needed to help protect them and make a difference to all who have been abused. Of course, it’s not fair to have suffered. I can’t change my past, but I can look forward to an abuse free future.

I agree, healing from child abuse is a life long journey. In my case, there have been times where a sad memory would trigger dark thoughts. The difference is now, after healing through therapy, I am able to quickly defuse those thoughts and move forward. Before therapy, I felt stuck in a dark hole. I can now accept what happened to me and can understand that it was not my fault that I was tortured, which what I always thought. My abusers were sick. I was a child and a victim.

I admit, there were times when I need continued support. I’ve learned a great deal from my time in therapy with Dr. Baer. But sadly, a lifetime of hurt can’t be totally erased. Life is a mystery, and each day I learn something new about myself, past and present.  I am human and make mistakes just like everyone else.

Sharing my story has shaken my world, but not in a bad way. There have been moments of distress from being overwhelmed with all the attention drawn to my past. Admitting what happened to me in black and white was huge. Sharing was difficult at first, but as time has passed, I’ve gained strength. Sharing gives me purpose. I believe my story was meant to be told. I knew it might be hard, but at the same time, I knew it would be a healing experience. How often does one get the chance to have their entire life laid out in a book to go over, analyze, and re-discover the miracle of surviving such horror?

Thank you for your prayers and for believing I am brave. I believe I am brave, too!  And yes, I need support and will continue to need support, just as we all need to support each other.

Karen