Comment by Michael on 22 Sep 2009 at 5:38 pm

My wife was mpd. she had 11 parts that i could talk to. Each had her own memories, skill sets and likes and dislikes. two were very hostile. she had amnesia for the mpd until one of the hostile alters pulled her from the front and into the house where all her alters lived and fought her. well, she won the fight and then the alters were able to have free reign of the house and start to work together. as she merged her memories merged until she was down to two parts. after she merged the final two into one person, she now has no memory that she was ever a multiple. but i do see all her parts in her actions, body movements and she has all the memories of each except for what the two hostile alters did. have you heard of a person merging and then not know they were ever a multiple?

Dear Michael,

I haven’t heard of a multiple losing all memory of being a multiple. I believe integration worked for your wife because she regained memory of her past without hostility and alter individuality. I would say integration was a success! She is now one woman able to move forward and live her life without alter chaos.

In my case I kept most of the memories of my alters, minus the experience of their worst pain. I have been able to understand all that brought me to where I am today. For me, that was a very important part of my healing. I’m not sure what would’ve happened if I forgot everything. I’m not sure I would’ve liked that feeling. Being a multiple is a complex coping mechanism. Although incomprehensible to most, there is so much more medical research to be done to understand this illness, and those who suffer from it. Maybe it’s a blessing for your wife not to remember being a multiple and switching?

I’m amazed that you notice the different parts of the alters now that she has completed integration. That’s a wonderful way to understand where your wife has been. What a proud moment to be able to experience your wife as one. Accepting her just the way she is, is very important. In my opinion I wouldn’t bring up the past alter activity, unless of course, it’s needed for some reason during her therapeutic healing. If all appears calm and well, then I would let it go. You hadn’t said anything, but I was wondering how you are handling the loss of the uniqueness of each of your wife’s ex-alters? It must’ve been hard on you, too. Befriending the alters was building a relationship with each one, letting them go must have had some affect on you? I never thought about that before, but now I wonder whether Dr. Baer grieved at the integration of each of my alters, too! Sometimes I grieve, but realistically I know that each of my alters is me.

Multiplicity can affect the entire family system. Please take care of yourself, too.

Thank you for sharing your story and for posting another look into the world of multiplicity.

Karen