Comment by Pissed in Atlanta on 25 Sep 2009 at 4:27 pm

Karen, Karen, Karen!

Did you see MacKenzie Phillips on the Oprah Show and what she claimed her father did to her? Do you believe her? OMG I think she’s a liar! I had doubt about your story but know it could have happened. MacKenzie probaly was abused but her drug abuse was not dissociation like yours. She claims she dissociated. What do you think of a drug user and dissociation? Why would Oprah allow her to talk about Mick Jaggar and her having sex? Disgusting! Book under lock and key for Oprah supervisors to take oath? How ridulous! I am so mad at Oprah right now for her not respecting your story and taking MacKenzie’s just because she had a famous father. Horseshit!

Pissed in Atlanta

Dear P’d in Altanta,

I didn’t get a chance to watch MacKenzie Phillips the day she appeared on The Oprah Show, but I did track down the recorded show from a friend and not only watched MacKenzie but also her sister Chynna on Friday. I won’t judge anyone. Maybe what she claimed was true?  I believe abuse is abuse, and that MacKenzie perhaps did suffer at the hands of her father. I thought she was brave to share, but also hated to see that she was taking responsibility for her part in her supposed “consensual” relationship with her father. In my opinion, at thirteen years old, as a minor, she was raped by her father.

As I listened to MacKenzie share with Oprah, I didn’t believe she was aware that what she experienced was rape. I thought she was in denial because she felt it was consensual. I believe as time passed she became compliant because she, like me, had mistaken the inappropriate boundaries of her loving father. MacKenzie may have believed sex was love. When a child is sexually abused, it is not making love. I can’t believe her father told her he didn’t rape her, but made love to her. That’s exactly how my father led me to believe that he loved me, that sexually abusing me was God’s word, and that bond was meant to be. Sickening, yes; disgusting, yes; inappropriate, yes; a father’s love? No.

MacKenzie never claimed to have a dissociative disorder; she claimed to have blackouts from drug use. The fact that her father helped administer the drugs is horrific. To take advantage of his daughter for sexual pleasure is rape no matter how you try to explain it away. Rape is rape. While Oprah interviewed MacKenzie, I don’t believe she was prepared for her to say anything about Mick Jagger. I believe Oprah was shocked, too.

I can understand the secrecy about the book the Oprah staff needed observe, but there was too much drama surrounding that fact. Although I would’ve encouraged Oprah and her staff to question my relatives and friends, too, I would’ve been upset at constantly trying to prove my story. To me, if the staff needs proof, don’t cause more distress on the victim. I know exactly what MacKenzie may have felt like trying to prove all that happened to her.

As I shared my story, there was a time I also feared what my family, friends, and acquaintances would think of me. It’s very hard to share knowing that some will deny and not believe you. However, my reason for sharing is the same as MacKenzie’s: to bring truth to what can happen to a child when left unprotected. To be sexually abused by one’s father is the most damaging act to a daughter’s self-esteem and her ability to move forward.

In my opinion, and this was not mentioned, I believe MacKenzie didn’t understand the full impact of what had happened to her until after her father’s death. As an abused woman matures, she then starts to realize that she was taken advantage of. No father, no father figure, no man, period, should ever sexually abuse a child, no matter what.

I don’t know that Oprah has even read my story, and therefore don’t believe she has shown me disrespect. Oprah simply hasn’t responded. My father wasn’t famous, I am not famous, and our book, Switching Time, was Dr. Baer’s first published book. Our story is amazing and remarkable and definitely one of a kind. But whatever Oprah’s reason is for not choosing to have us as guests, it’s beyond my comprehension. I understand you feel pissed over my story not being shared on The Oprah Show.  I would love to meet her.

I am touched that you believe in Dr. Baer and our work together to heal me. I am very grateful for everything that came my way to help me. I’ve been blessed and I’m not pissed at anyone.

Thank you for sharing your frustrations and concern. I appreciate hearing true feelings of those who read my story. We all have opinions and there are many false stories out there.

Karen