Comment by M on 28 Sep 2009 at 3:15 am

I switch often, sometimes up to 3 times a day, but I don’t have memory loss, usually I can still see what the others have done, its just my perspective changes.

I live huddled in my room most days in terror.

My children and I are very poor

Is this punishment from God?

Dear M,

Please don’t believe that being a multiple is punishment from God! Multiplicity is a God sent coping mechanism to help one survive traumatic events. Have faith. Trust that God wouldn’t hurt you and is always with you. Although God can’t prevent pain, take it away, or change the reality of your life, He can comfort you if you have faith and believe.

I believe that switching happens for a reason. By switching, your inner system is trying to escape from something in your present life. Maybe stress due to what you have mentioned has led your alters to try to take your pain away. Remember, alters are created to help one survive.  I would switch when reality became more than I could handle. And I would switch sometimes up to ten times in a day, depending what stresses I was unable to deal with. As time passed, with therapeutic help, my switching came less often. As I developed new ways to cope with my immediate problems, my alters felt the need to rescue me less and less.

I’m sorry that you are living huddled in your room in terror! I’ve felt that way at times, too. What helped me during those dark times was to force myself to break away from feeling trapped. I know it’s hard to do, but getting out, changing a routine, simply calling a friend, or watching a funny movie would help break my terrorized thoughts. Nights were always a problem for me. Reading a book until exhaustion took over would help me sleep, and listening to soothing music helped distract my dark thoughts from taking over my good thoughts.

Wishing you all my best as you continue your journey.

Karen