Comment by Loretta on 13 Oct 2009 at 10:19 am

Karen,

Do you have any unpleasant reactions to such things most people can enjoy such as sports, amusement parks, Halloween and anything that triggers aggression? Integration combined all of your alters together but some had fears? Do you continue to suffer from past individual fears?

You and Baer are two awesome people to contribute this site and so much of your lives.Thank you.

Loretta

Oak Forest, IL

Dear Loretta,

Unpleasant reactions are a part of everyone’s life and there’s no difference for me.  Certain things trigger dark thoughts and sad memories. I don’t like to watch certain sports, such as boxing, wrestling, and sometimes, depending on the game, football. I can enjoy football at times when not distressed. I’ve become less anxious watching football since my son played on a football team during high school. I felt the excitement of the game then. Before that I hated any contact sport that brought on pain. I hate seeing anyone get hurt, especially punching each other as in boxing. All I can see during a boxing match is my father’s punches coming toward me.

Years ago I hated Halloween, especially when people wore masks and clown costumes. The anxiety I once felt has lessened, so that now I may be startled and jump, but laugh afterward. Amusement parks pose no threat to me now. I don’t like to be enclosed in any ride, but most open-air rides leave no fear.

Although my alters did harbor individual fears, I couldn’t tell you now what they were. All of my alters are me. I am all of them.

Thank you for your questions and kind compliments! Dr. Baer and I truly appreciate them.

Karen