Comment by Sullivan on 02 Nov 2009 at 9:37 am

Karen,

I read six different books on MPD. I liked yours the best because it was the most informative and helpful. I was diagnosed a few years ago. I’m not sure but think reading too much is making me feel more ill? My dreams have intensified. When you read books during therapy were you affected? What books did you read? Did the books you read influence and confuse your therapy? I am more confused. What books did Richard Baer make you read during therapy? My therapist had me reading First Person Plural, Sybil and A Man in the Mirror. I read the others on my own. What advice can you give in your opinion to doctors who treat patients like us? Whatever Dr. Baer did for your healing should be written for all doctors who treat mpd patients. Whatever Dr. Baer did was correct. I don’t want to change my therapist but he should learn how to treat me. You were lucky. I don’t feel so lucky today.

Sullivan

Maine

Dear Sullivan,

Thank you for sharing. I never read any books on multiple personality disorder during my therapy. I never watched any movies such as Sybil or Three Faces of Eve.  I first read about my illness after integration was complete. I didn’t want to be influenced and feared reading anything that might provoke any of my alters to misbehave. I was afraid to know more.

Before therapy I’d never heard of multiple personality disorder. The first I ever heard of it was years into therapy when Dr. Baer told me my diagnosis. I believed my losing time was normal and that everyone lost time. When I was young, I assumed my being sexually abused was the same treatment all girls received from their elders. I was sheltered from knowing the truth about sex, abuse, and reality. My world existed within myself. My experiences were limited by my dysfunctional father who kept my high school activities limited. I believed I was bad and my punishment was deserved. I was so young when my abuse started. I didn’t know any better.

After I learned and accepted my diagnosis of multiple personality disorder, I became curious. I admit I tried watching the movie Sybil, but couldn’t and had to turn it off. I tried reading a few books with no luck, never reading past the first few chapters before having a panic attack. Dr. Baer never forced me to read any books during our therapeutic relationship. He did, however, ask me if I had read any books, and I told him no.

In my opinion, based on my personal experience, I would say don’t read anymore at this time. I believe you’ve read far more than needed during your process of healing. If I were you, I would be confused, too! Remember to trust your own instincts. If reading about multiplicity disturbs you, then stop reading about the illness and focus on your own unique story and healing.

Doctors who treat patients like us should not influence the natural flow of progress by interjecting someone else’s story. Dr. Baer never once told me what to think, how to think, or what to read. Everything was encouraged to come from within my own self.

Wishing you all my best as you change the course of your journey to heal.

Karen