Comment by Susie on September 13, 2008 1:50 pm
Dear Karen,

What keeps you going and prevents you from ending your life? In one of your previous answers you mentioned that you still have these thoughts sometimes. I don’t mean to sound rude, but where do you see yourself in five years?

Susie

Dear Susie,

It’s true; I still have thoughts of ending my life at times. I know these “thoughts” are old responses to stress and I have no intention of acting on them. I try my best to overcome these thoughts by reaching out to someone close, praying, or diverting my attention to something pleasant, like losing myself in a good book. I will try most anything to break the pattern of these distressed thoughts when I have them. I believe each day brings something new, and although I still struggle some nights, I’ll continue to try my best to understand why I react this way and work through it. I am always happy when I awake each morning and know that I am alive and well, ready with a promise to myself to start a new day.

In five years, I hope my life continues to improve. I have faith and believe all will be well. Maybe I’ll be able to travel around the world, feel loved, be a grandmother, and enjoy my life in ways that I never thought possible. I do have dreams, and in my dreams, I live.

Karen