Comment by Dragana on 08 Nov 2009 at 10:04 am

Hello Karen,

Started to read “A Life in Pieces” only to close the book half way. It hurt to read. As a mother of three I can’t imagine the horror you suffered. I don’t like that Richard Baer treated you so badly. He was condescending, insulting you repeatedly. I dont know if I want to finish it? Why did you allow your therapist to disrespect and mistreat you? Am I the only reader who read his thoughts? He never liked you. Why didn’t you see it? You claim to be highly attuned? Back then may have been different. How do you feel looking back now? Is he still an arse? I want to know more about how you overcame Richard Baer’s insults. For the love of God I hope you never allow anyone to treat you like he did.

I am insulted by your therapists treatment of you. He did not treat you well.

Dragana

UK

Dear Dragana,

Thank you for sharing your thoughts on A Life in Pieces, the UK version of Switching Time. I appreciate hearing what you have to say but admit that I am a bit taken aback by how you chose to read my story. I admit there are moments in the book where it appears that Dr. Baer felt condescending or insulting, but he was simply being the psychiatrist that he was. There are ethical guidelines for a therapeutic relationship that must be met. Dr. Baer was doing his job and treated me in an appropriate matter.

I am a highly attuned person who has suffered in many ways and never once picked up on Dr. Baer’s mistreatment of me during the course of my healing from multiplicity. There have been a few other readers, like you, who believed that Dr. Baer showed disrespect towards me. I will answer your question in the same way I answered theirs.  As a troubled patient there were many difficult issues for me to sort through. I was an annoying, chronic mess. If I were he, I may have felt the same way. Dr. Baer composed himself in an appropriate professional manner, and despite his initial ill thoughts, chose to help me.

If Dr. Baer had treated me any differently, with too much compassion, too much sympathy, or became overly emotional, I would’ve stopped therapy, never returned, and therefore never have healed. I needed someone to listen. Dr. Baer listened to me without forcing his own thoughts and opinions into my already traumatic distressing system of alter chaos. Dr. Baer treated me with respect and did so for my own well-being.

In the writing of Switching Time, Dr. Baer believed it was important to be truthful and share his feelings along with mine on how our therapeutic relationship survived. In the beginning, Dr. Baer had thoughts that may have appeared as if he didn’t care or disliked me, but that was just his initial frustration. I believe it was just as difficult for Dr. Baer to treat me as it was for me to be his patient. We needed to learn from each other from ground up and build our therapeutic relationship based on respect and trust for each other. We both learned from the experience.

Multiplicity is not that easily diagnosed, and it took time for a bond of trust and understanding to form between Dr. Baer and me. What is most important and amazing is that we never gave up. Dr. Baer never ended my therapy based on his early feelings, and I never ended therapy with Dr. Baer because he never forced me to be anyone other than myself: one woman with seventeen very distinct alternate personalities.

I cannot force anyone to finish reading Switching Time any more than I can change someone’s thoughts on multiplicity. But I can encourage hope through sharing my story. I admit my story is difficult to read, especially the first third of the book where some graphic detail can throw off anyone sensitive to horror. I believe true understanding and inspiration can only come when the reader completes his or her reading of the entire book.

Please, if you can, finish reading and write back to me. Please know that I care and will answer any questions you may have. I would love to hear your thoughts once you hear the whole story. I believe my story was meant to be told.

Wishing you all my best.

Karen